The Stars in Your Hand
by stardust2002
Summary: Starbuck and Apollo thought their destinies weren't meant to be joined together but sometimes fate has a way of stepping in and spinning things out of control ... LK,KS,LD. Spoilers through the end of season 3. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Schism

**'The Stars in Your Hand ...'**

**Chapter One - Schism**

_"One world, one dream, the stars in your hand ..."_

_8 months earlier ..._

The warmth of him enveloped her in an entirely new way. There was a softness in his touch, despite the fierceness of the hug, that she'd never felt before. It was comforting, given the fact that her whole world had just been turned upside down.

He pulled away slightly to reach up and cup her face.

"A baby. We're having a baby," he said tenderly, leaning down to capture her lips softly. "It's a miracle."

She smiled, butterflies taking over her stomach in full force. A baby ... _a baby!_ The doc had told them there was next to no chance they could ever conceive a child. The cylons had screwed with her reproductive system in ways Cottle couldn't even begin to describe and in consequence her hormones were frakked beyond repair. Given the current state of humanity, hormone therapy was out of the question as well. Sam too, had lived nearly a year on a radioactive planet, surviving only thanks to repeated shots of anti-radiation meds which weren't designed to work long-term. He'd never been tested but Cottle had surmised there was about a ninety-nine percent chance he was sterile.

Given those odds, she'd assumed it was never going to be an issue and wasn't emotionally prepared to hear the news. She knew it made Sam happy beyond belief - he hadn't said it openly, but he'd talked so wistfully of the siblings he missed that reading between the lines had been easy - he wanted a family.

He pulled her close and squeezed again.

"Hey, easy there," she said, giving him a gentle shove. "Don't squish the baby."

"Sorry." He grinned sheepishly and let go, leaving an arm across her shoulders instead.

"First checkup in two weeks. In the meanwhile, try to rest and listen to your body. It tells you it doesn't like what you're doing, quit whatever it is."

Kara nodded at Cottle.

"And I shouldn't have to tell you that alcohol and tobacco are forbidden substances."

"I know," she said, giving him a resigned sigh. "I may not have done this before but I do know a few things."

"Glad to hear it," Cottle said gruffly. "Now get out of here. I've got work to do."

Sam's arm rested across her shoulder heavily as they walked the corridors back to their quarters. After a few moments Sam stopped her and spun her around to face him.

"Okay, talk to me," he said, not forcefully, but with definite authority.

She looked up at him, expression inscrutable.

"You're scared," he offered.

Their eyes met and she remembered her promise to be more open and honest with him.

"Yeah, I'm scared." She shook her head and stared at the wall behind him. "I never thought ..."

"Neither did I, but it's great news!"

She smiled weakly.

He rested his hands on her shoulders. "There's nothing to be scared of Kara. I'm here, you're not alone."

"I know." She didn't sound convinced.

Sam studied her eyes for a moment. "I know you've never told me anything about your past but I get the feeling you had a less than happy childhood."

She looked away uncomfortably. "You could say that," she said softly.

He cupped her face and tilted it up to look at him. "We don't have to repeat the mistakes your family made Kara. You aren't your mother and I'm not your father and I promise you we will do things differently. This child is special - our miracle child. The one neither of us thought we could ever have."

She smiled weakly again. "I know it will be better Sam. It's just ... the thought of being a mother? It was never in the plan for my life and I'm just not sure how good a mother I can be."

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her in for a hug. "The fact that you're worried means you're going to be great. At least you care enough to be scared."

Her heart beat painfully still but the words did have some truth in them. Her mother had never given a frak about anyone other than herself. At least Kara cared enough not to want to repeat the past.

"I'm here. I'll always be here. You know that right?" he whispered into her hair.

She nodded, close to tears.

He gave her one more quick squeeze and they continued on.

XXX

"A baby." The dizziness washed over him like a tidal wave. He blinked several times and willed the world to stop spinning.

"That's great Kara. I'm happy for you."

She searched his eyes, deep blue as always, but they gave her nothing. Either he really didn't care anymore or Lee Adama had learned to lie with his eyes as well as his mouth.

She gave him a mild smile. "Well is was a bit of a surprise but I'm sure I'll get used to the idea."

Lee's eyes widened slightly. "I take it it wasn't planned?"

She gave him a mock glare.

He shrugged. "I never really saw you with kids either but you never know, things change."

"Yeah, they do," she said softly, eyes clouding over.

Lee felt the tug at his heartstrings again and bit his lip, hoping the pain would allow him to regain control of his feelings. He and Kara were not meant to be - he'd made the decision to stick with Dee despite being torn between them, but every so often ... when that vulnerable look crossed her face ... his heart grew traitorous and wished he'd made the other choice. Now more than ever - a purely alpha male part of him somewhere deep inside wanted to be the man whose child she was carrying.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," he said, forcing joviality into his tone. "You've got each other after all."

She tilted her chip up and smiled defiantly at him. "Yes. We do."

He stepped forward awkwardly and pulled her into a hug. "Good luck Kara."

"Thanks," she whispered, hugging back. She bit back the shudder her body always involuntarily gave when the magnetism between them shot electricity up and down her body.

"I'm glad you're getting this opportunity."

She knew he was referring to what the cylons had done to her at the Farm on Caprica. She hadn't expected to hear the longing in his voice as he spoke though.

"Maybe you and Dee should have a family too," she suggested as they pulled out of the hug.

"She doesn't want kids." His voice hardened as the impersonal 'Apollo' mask dropped over his face, hiding the emotions he'd let slip out.

"Oh."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Listen, I have to get back to work," he said, stepping backwards.

"Yeah, me too. I just figured I'd tell you the news before the grapevine gets a hold of it and it comes out unrecognizable." She smiled tightly.

"Thanks. I'll see you later." He smiled briefly before exiting the room.

She stood there, heart heavy, feeling like she'd just been handed a death sentence. _ I wish Lee was the father_. The thought crossed her mind before she could stop it. She and Lee were through - he'd made that pretty clear a month earlier and while she hadn't been happy about the decision, she'd accepted it and turned to Sam. He'd taken her back, thankfully, and they'd resolved to forgive and forget and move forward, doing their best to make their marriage work. It _was_ working and Kara was relatively happy, even in the knowledge that Lee and Dee were working at_ their_ marriage as well and seemingly happier than they'd ever been together. Maybe she and Lee just weren't meant to be - were a few moments of happiness and ecstasy worth all the pain and heartache? No, Lee had been right to end the cycle of pain they were caught up in. It was better this way.

But every now and again her heart begged to differ ...

XXX

"Do you think it will work out this time?" she asked.

"I hope so. But she's a stubborn one," the second voice answered. "Sometimes it's like she knows exactly what her destiny is and she screws it up on purpose so we'll have to start all over again."

"She's just not ready to accept her destiny yet. One day it will come," a third voice said wisely.

The other two nodded in deference.

"And in the meanwhile?"

"We leave them to muddle through," the wise voice answered softly. "We can only interfere when it's time."

"Of course. I just wish ..."

The wise one's head inclined curiously.

"it's just frustrating watching it play out time and again. Can't we knock some sense into them? Or at least point them along the road they're supposed to go?"

"My children have been given the privilege of choice for a reason. They must determine the right course of action for themselves."

"Can't we help? Just a little?" the first voice asked.

"We have. They have guides to help them find the way."

"Yes, but those guides are just as lost and confused as the rest."

The wise one smiled. "They have it within themselves to find the truth. They merely need to look."

XXX

_Present time ... _

"It's a girl."

Kara brushed a hand across her sweaty forehead as she panted in relief.

"A girl," she repeated breathlessly, the smallest of smiles beginning on her lips.

"We have a daughter," Sam said softly, blue eyes filled with tears.

Cottle wrapped the baby in a towel and handed her to Kara, who took her shyly, a look of awe mixed with fear enveloping her face.

"You did good Captain," he said gently, giving her shoulder a pat. "You three enjoy the moment while I finish things up." He returned down to the bottom of the bed and began to clean up.

Kara's eyes met Sam's, both glistening with tears.

"I'm so proud of you. You did it," Sam whispered. "We have a daughter. A little baby girl." As he spoke, he stuck a finger against the baby's hand and she gripped it against her palm tightly, as if afraid to let go.

"Welcome to the world Clea," he whispered, marveling at her bright, blue eyes.

"Clea. That's a pretty name," Cottle remarked as he worked. "Where did you come up with it?"

Kara shrugged. "I don't know. It just came to me in a dream."

**TBC**


	2. In Dreams

Just a brief authors note:

1. Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed this story so far. It's a little different than my usual - being more plot-based and less character-driven and I'm happy so many people are enjoying it. I hope I can continue to deliver and entertaining story that makes sense. If you have any comments or criticisms (constructive please) feel free to let me know. I always welcome any chance to become a better writer.

2. About the eye colour. Most if not all caucasian babies are born with deep blue eyes, regardless of the parents eye colour so the fact that Sam and Lee both have shades of blue mean that Clea WILL have blue eyes no matter who her father is. That question is one that will be answered eventually, but assuming that Clea having blue eyes means she's automatically Lee's daughter is an incorrect assumption and I just wanted to make that clear. Babies eye colour doesn't change till between 8 and 16 months of age.

**XXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter Two - In Dreams**

_'No light, no life, the scars are made by man ...'_

She pulled her gown down to reveal one breast, blushing furiously as she did so. Why, she had no idea. It wasn't like Cottle hadn't seen all of her private areas during her checkups and the birth itself, but for some reason she felt uncomfortable having him watch her nurse her daughter. The whole concept of nursing a baby was one she was uncomfortable with but she had no choice in the matter and so was having to cope with her discomfort and embarrassment the best she could. At least Cottle had been discreet enough to get Ishay to show her what to do (he probably had no idea anyway!) but even still she'd honestly found it to be worse than being pregnant and giving birth combined.

_She pulled her gown down self-consciously while Sam held Clea, the smile on his face wider than any she'd ever seen before. _

_"Like this Captain," Ishay said, reaching for the baby and holding her close against Kara's tummy as she guided the small mouth to the nipple. Ishay herself hadn't had any children but her sister had had several and so she was well-versed on what to do. Clea was having difficulty getting the nipple in her mouth so Ishay reached for Kara's breast and pinched it as she brought the baby's mouth closer._

_Kara flinched and turned bright red. Ishay looked at her inquiringly. "Sorry, did I hurt you?"_

_"No, no it's just ..." Kara began to stammer. "I mean ... do we really have to do this? Isn't there another way?"_

_That earned her a deprecating look. "In case you haven't noticed, there are no drug stores nearby. We can't just waltz out and buy some baby formula and bottles because you're squeamish about nursing." Kara's cheeks burned. "If you want your daughter to live you're going to have to do this and just get over whatever hang-ups you have about it."_

_Kara bit her lip but nodded._

_Ishay continued her work, making sure Clea latched on properly. She did eventually and when she began to suck Kara's eyes widened in surprise. The feeling of the tiny tongue caressing her nipple sent shivers throughout her body like the feelings she got when Sam made love to her ... but not._

_"I'll leave you alone for a while. I'll just be at the desk and come check on you in about fifteen minutes okay? Shout if you need me before that."_

_"Thank you," Sam said politely as she left the cubicle, filling in for Kara whose attention was completely focused on Clea._

Since then she'd fed Clea seven or eight times but this was the first time Ishay had been off-duty and Cottle was supervising. He noticed her embarrassment and forced back a smirk.

"Don't worry Captain. Even if I found anything about breastfeeding a baby sexy, I'm far too old to care about anything you've got to offer."

Kara's mouth hung open for a minute then she began to laugh. She turned to the matter at hand, all embarrassment about her semi-nakedness forgotten.

A few minutes later she heard the sound of familiar voices. The Admiral's and Lee's.

"I'm sorry, she's a little occupied at the moment," she heard Cottle as he pulled the curtain behind him. "Breakfast time," he added in a stage whisper.

Kara smiled - she could almost feel their hesitation from where she was.

"Maybe we should go find ourselves some breakfast too and then come back," the elder Adama said.

"Good idea. Come back in about half an hour. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you then."

The sound of receding footsteps told her the conversation was over. It only seemed like a moment later that she heard them return. A hand appeared on the curtain.

"Knock, knock," Adama said enquiringly. "Can we come in?"

"Of course," she answered with a smile, feeling a warm rush of emotion as she saw their faces. Adama was beaming at Clea like she was his grandchild. Lee's expression held a trace of sadness despite the smile he wore.

"Congratulations 'mom','" Adama said, leaning over to hug her and the baby and dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

"Thanks," she murmured, leaning into his warmth. He was the closest thing she'd had to a father since she was very young and his approval had always meant much to her.

He moved back to allow Lee to approach. He did, somewhat shyly, and gave her a quick squeeze and a peck on the cheek.

"Congratulations Kara," he said softly, eyes meeting hers. "She's beautiful."

"Thanks," she whispered, heart aflutter at the closeness of him.

Lee looked down at the small bundle in Kara's arms. She stared up at him, eyes wide with wonder. Kara shivered inside as two pairs of crystal blue eyes met and held each other's. The connection was undeniable, and she could tell Lee felt it too. When he finally tore his gaze away and met Kara's, there was something in them she'd never seen before. She couldn't even begin to describe it but it struck a chord deep within her and she felt her eyes prickle with tears.

"You and Sam are very lucky," he said softly, blinking rapidly as if to hold back tears of his own. "Where is the lucky dad by the way?" he added, straightening up and glancing around the cubicle, as though it were large enough for Sam to be hiding somewhere.

"He went to bed," Kara answered, hoping neither man could hear the tremor in her voice.

Lee glanced at her quizzically.

"He was up all night you know," she explained. "And since Cottle's freeing us from the dungeon tonight, I'm going to need all the help I can get."

Cottle ducked his head into the room for a second. "I heard that," he said grumpily, eyebrows drawn together in a frown. All three of them smiled as his face disappeared.

Adama stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Clea's forehead. "We'll let you get some rest now she's falling asleep," he said quietly, large smile splitting his rugged face. "I couldn't be happier if she were my own granddaughter Kara. If you need anything ... anything at all ... just let me know."

"Of course," Kara beamed back at him, losing the fragile hold she'd had on her tears. She wiped them away with the back of her hand.

Lee touched her shoulder briefly. "I'll see you later. Say hi to Sam if you see him before I do."

She nodded. "Thanks."

As they left sickbay she gulped down the lump gathering in her throat. In these times it was good to have people who cared - people you could call family even if they weren't. She couldn't have explained it even if she tried but there was a nebulous feeling somewhere deep inside that something had changed subtly in the Adama family dynamic since Clea had been born.

She pondered it.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Her eyes slipped shut in pleasure as he massaged her feet. Something in their relationship had changed since the night on New Caprica when they'd lain under the stars together. It had been the most 'normal' time they'd experienced together since they'd met and it had given them both a taste of what might have been if circumstances were different. They weren't though, and because of it what might have been could never come to pass. There was however, an unspoken agreement between them that allowed a certain amount of intimacy, at least in private, and they'd both blossomed in their newfound closeness.

He smiled as she paged frantically through the worn book. "You're still on about that?" Adama asked, the smile evident in his tone.

Roslin looked up at him with just a trace of frustration. "I'm sure there's something to it," she retorted.

His grin widened. "You're cute when you're irritated."

She let out an angry sigh as she glared at him. "Seriously Bill, I _know_ there's something in the Scriptures that makes the role of the Five Priests of the Temple of Jupiter clear. _ I know it_."

"You've searched and searched and haven't found anything. Are you sure?" he asked.

She took off her glasses and laid them on her lap.

"I've been having dreams for weeks now. Back when we first found the Temple I was sure there was something important to be found there but since it never gave us any information on the whereabouts of Earth I let it go. But these dreams ... they just keep happening and with more frequency lately. I'm sure there was something important in the discovery of the Temple that we must have missed."

"Unfortunately we can't go back and search again," Adama said gently, remembering the supernova that had destroyed the planet, and in fact the entire star system. "The only comfort we have is in knowing that the cylons didn't get any more information out of it than we did."

"Are we sure about that?"

"Why else would they still be hanging around following us? Obviously they don't have a clue and they think we do so they're not letting us out of their sight."

Roslin nodded thoughtfully. It was true, the cylons had been following them - hovering just on the edge of dradis for several months now, never making an aggressive move, just _being_ there.

"There must be something I missed then," she said, face screwing up in frustration.

He gave her leg a sympathetic squeeze. "Do you want to talk to the Chief again? Maybe the two of you can figure it out."

She frowned. "How is it he knows so much about the Temple? Just an interest in history?"

"I believe his father was a Priest, and while I'm not sure he believes in the Scriptures I know he's fascinated by them."

She turned toward him and smiled sweetly. "Thanks Bill."

He squeezed again and smiled in return. "Anything for you, especially if it takes that frown off your face. You're far more beautiful when you smile."

Her smile widened and she blushed. "Let's not spoil the rest of the evening with work," she suggested.

"Now that's one decision I endorse wholeheartedly."

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"You shouldn't have done that," she reproached him with a frown.

"The desire to find the truth is already strong within her. I just helped move it to the forefront of her mind."

"We're not supposed to mess with their destiny."

"It's not like I'm changing it ... just giving it a little nudge," he defended.

"Good for you," a new voice added. "it gets so frustrating watching them and knowing they're going to screw it up again."

"They _are_ going to get it right eventually," she pointed out.

"Well sitting around waiting for it to happen isn't going to make it happen any sooner," the third voice said bluntly. "I'm all for a little intervention.

She sighed in resignation. "Just don't get found out. I'm not in the mood for another 'special destiny' lecture, okay?"

He smiled.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sam couldn't get enough of his new daughter. He found her endlessly fascinating and spent much of his free time just watching her, eyes starry with pride. He loved to lie on their bed with her, softly stroking the precious baby skin and drinking her in with his eyes. He'd never seen anything so beautiful - even Kara - and he loved her beyond all reason.

Today, her two week birthday, she was lying on her tummy, clad only in a diaper - having just been bathed - and his fingers were stroking her silky back, absently playing with the moles that were so like her mother's. He looked down at them and his eyebrows drew together. She had quite a few actually, and a good number of freckles were making themselves visible now as well. It seemed her ability to be loud and obnoxious in the morning wasn't the only thing she was inheriting from her mother.

His frown grew deeper. He'd seen that pattern somewhere before but he just couldn't seem to remember where.

" ... what a luxury a shower is," Kara said, opening the hatch and stepping into the room, conversation already going full tilt. She pulled the towel off her midriff and began drying her dripping hair with it, walking over to the bed where Sam and Clea lay as she did so.

"Are you guys still here?" she laughed. "It's a good thing she's your daughter or I might get jealous of the way you spend hours looking at her," she teased.

Sam smiled and looked at her naked body appraisingly. She looked good - a little curvier in some places than she'd been before the baby but she was slimming down nicely and once the doc cleared her to workout again he knew she'd regain all of her lost muscle tone in no time.

His eyes widened in surprise as she turned around to head to the dressing area - he'd found the pattern that matched the pattern of moles and freckles on Clea's back - in exactly the same spot on Kara's.

**TBC**


	3. Enigma

**'The Stars in Your Hand ... ' **

**Chapter Three - Enigma**

_"One chance, this night to shine on this land ..."_

Sam got up and followed Kara, encircling her waist from behind. "Hey sexy," he whispered.

She smiled. "Do I detect someone's in the mood?" she asked, leaning back into him.

"Unfortunately yes."

She spun around to face him, a look of mock irritation on her face. "What do you mean 'unfortunately'?" she demanded.

He held up his right arm so she could see his watch. "It's nearly 0800. I've got training shortly. No time." He sighed melodramatically.

She put her arms around his waist and smiled. "There's always later. I'm not sure I'm ready for everything yet but I'm sure we can have a_ little_ fun."

He ran his hands up and down her naked back. "Sounds good to me."

They broke apart and she pulled some clothes out of the locker.

Sam sat back down beside Clea. "Have you noticed she's got an interesting pattern of moles and freckles on her back?" he asked.

"No I hadn't noticed," Kara mumbled from inside the sweatshirt she was pulling over her head.

"It's just like yours," he added, eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

"Oh that," she said, pulling her sweatshirt up at the back for Sam to see. "I've had that since I was a kid."

He fingered it lightly, tickling her until she giggled. "It looks neat."

"You mean to say you've never noticed it before?" she pouted.

He caught her up in his arms and rained kisses down on her neck and mouth. "Of course I noticed it. I just never _noticed_ it until I saw the same pattern on Clea."

A few minutes later she pushed him away, panting slightly as she tore her lips away from his. "Weren't you the one reminding me you had to go?" she asked playfully, noticing his semi-erection.

"Frak!" he said, adjusting his pants and grabbing the duffel off the floor. "I'll see you in eight hours." He leaned in for a quick peck on the cheek. "Love you girls."

"Love you too," she called after him, an amused smile lighting up her face.

Once he was gone she lay down on the bed beside Clea, inhaling the newly-cleaned 'new baby' smell and running her hand along the smooth skin of her back. She looked at the markings and frowned. She'd seen that pattern somewhere before - and not on herself either, being that it was on her back and she'd have needed appropriately placed mirrors for that.

She thought for a while, Clea having fallen asleep, but though a niggling feeling that she'd seen it somewhere before stayed with her, she just couldn't quite call it to mind.

She shrugged it off though and lifted the baby into her bassinet, covering her with an extra blanket since she was still in nothing but a diaper. Before long all thoughts of birthmarks were gone from her mind as other, seemingly more important things pushed them aside to be dealt with.

XXX

"She is _so_ frustrating!" he huffed in irritation. "The clues are right there -_ right there_ in front of her and she just brushes them aside to think of trivial things!"

"They're not trivial to the people living with them," the wise voice reminded him. "Only we who can see the big picture understand how little those things really matter in the survival of humanity."

"Why don't we _do_ something then? Make them realize what's important. Why just give clues and hints and then get frustrated watching as they're unable to put the pieces together?"

"My children need to grow up. In order to do so they have to be allowed to find their way to the truth with clues, not a detailed road map."

"And when they make mistakes? Come to the wrong conclusions?"

"Part of growing up is making mistakes my child," the wise one explained with a smile. He put his hand on the other one's shoulder comfortingly, amused at the grumpy expression on his face. "In time you'll understand."

"When I'm as old as you?" the first one asked, a trace of amusement in his voice.

"Perhaps," the wise one answered, an enigmatic look in his eyes.

XXX

He jumped when he felt light hands come to rest on his shoulders.

"You've been staring at that for hours," she said softly, so as not to wake the sleeping child nearby.

"Mmm," Tyrol murmured tiredly, rubbing his sleep-weary eyes.

"Come to bed honey," Cally coaxed, massaging his tense shoulder muscles.

He shook his head. "I can't. The President is counting on me to find the answers ..."

She popped her head down over his shoulder to look him in the face. "She _asked_ you to help. She's not expecting you to have all the answers," she said gently.

"But I should dammit! I grew up having the scriptures quoted at me night and day. I _should_ have all the answers!" He slammed his fist down on the desk.

"Shhh!" Cally reproved. "You'll wake up Nicholas."

"Sorry." Tyrol kissed his wife. "You go on back to bed. I'll be there soon."

She made a face at him but gave him a quick peck on the cheek before turning around and climbing back into their bunk.

Tyrol swept a hand through his hair, sighed, and turned his attention back to the worn book in front of him.

XXX

He had to fight to hide the smirk as she swung her legs up on the desk. Obviously her time on New Caprica had loosened her up - before that she would never have dreamed of letting her hair down in front of anyone, much less a mechanic, even if he was the head honcho of the mechanics.

"Tell me what you've found." Plain, simple, to the point - that was Roslin all over.

"There reference to the five Priests of the Temple is here in Hyperionis chapter 4. I've had the devil of a time finding it the last few days, though fragments of the text have been running through my mind. Here it is - 'The five, who were annointed by the gods to watch over the temple, shall guide the wayward sheep on their journey home. The road is long and winding but the chosen one holds the key to the universe in the palm of her hand.' "

Tyrol scrubbed a hand across his chin, as if wishing he still had a beard to stroke in times of thoughtfulness.

"The question is, who is the chosen one?" Roslin asked.

"Well we originally thought that was you, given that there are references in several places talking about the dying leader leading the people to Earth, but since you're no longer the dying leader ..." He trailed off. "Beats me," he shrugged.

Roslin frowned as she pondered it. "Is it really a she or were the gods just being cryptic?"

"It's not like they were clear about anything else," he groused. "A simple 'here's the way to earth' and a roadmap would have been much easier."

A wide smile broke out on Roslin's face. "That it would have. It seems like the gods like to play with us though."

"We're not their frakking toys!" he grumbled, almost under his breath. "Sorry Ma'am," he apologised, realizing he'd just sworn in front of the President of the Colonies.

"It's okay," she replied. "I understand the frustration. I feel like I should have all the answers and everyone's looking to me to lead the way," she shrugged, "and I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm doing beyond day to day life here."

Tyrol nodded, sighing loudly. "I know what you mean, Madam President."

There was a silence, comfortable between them for the first time.

"There's more," he added a few minutes later.

Her eyebrows rose and she took off her glasses and placed them on the desk in front of her.

"I forgot to write down the reference point but I remember what it said - 'the son and daughter of Zeus will be the protectors of humanity on their journey, one fighting with the fire of purity, the other with the arrow of truth.' "

Roslin's eyes widened. "Who do you suppose that refers to?"

He didn't answer and she read into his silence.

"You have a theory?"

He nodded. "It's kind of crazy ..."

"At this point I'm willing to consider crazy. Quite frankly, we need all the help we can get. Your theory may or may not be right but at least it gives us somewhere to start."

"Okay." He took a deep breath and exhaled softly. "Apollo and Starbuck."

She cocked her head to one side.

"Apollo and Artemis are the twin children of Zeus. If we consider the Admiral to be Zeus - and he's all -powerful around here so it could fit - then Apollo and Starbuck - or rather Artemis, are his children. Granted Starbuck isn't really his daughter but they've been close for years and he treats her like a daughter. Apollo and Starbuck are the protectors of the fleet too. I know, there are other pilots but they're the two in charge who make the decisions, train the new recruits and quite frankly, save everyone else's asses when it seems no one else can." He stopped to wait for her reaction.

"It's quite possible," she said absently, staring off into the distance. "I'll have to think on that."

She pulled herself back to the here and now. "The question is, which one fights with fire and which with the arrow?" she asked, a trace of amusement on her face.

He didn't miss it.

"Ithink_ that_ is open to interpretation."

XXX

Her heart was pounding painfully. Had been ever since the Doc had sent word that he wanted to see her. He didn't see people unless something was wrong and she was pretty certain nothing was wrong with her so that meant something was wrong with Clea.

Her grip on the infant tightened protectively as she entered sickbay.

"Come in Captain," Cottle's gruff voice called from across the room.

Kara sat, waiting for the anvil to drop. Cottle said nothing but shuffled the papers around on his desk.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, unable to wait for him to broach the subject.

"There's no easy way to say it but yes, something is wrong."

Kara's heart plummeted and tears began to prickle at the backs of her eyes. It didn't matter that was was reluctant to have a child in the first place - now that she had, her whole life revolved around Clea and she felt despair sink in at just the thought of losing her.

"What is it?" she asked bravely, holding her voice even with extreme effort.

"She has hemophilia."

"Isn't that a blood disorder?"

"Yes it is," Cottle answered.

"Is it ... curable?" she asked, terrified he was going to say no.

"It is," he said, a catch in his voice. "You're lucky you're living in this generation. Even a hundred years ago it wasn't curable and it's victims suffered quite painfully - almost more so emotionally than physically since they were unable to do much physical activity without risking serious damage or death."

Kara looked horrified. She'd heard of hemophilia but it wasn't exactly common and so she'd really had no idea what the symptoms were.

"So she'll be okay?" She cradled the infant tenderly in her arms.

"She'll be fine. A shot now and another in six weeks time and everything will be right as rain."

She exhaled long and slow. "Thank the gods."

"Or perhaps the doctor who discovered the cure," Cottle interjected.

"Him too," she added, a grateful smile on her face. She held Clea still while Cottle administered the needle, then rocked her for a few minutes as she wailed. After several minutes the crying subsided and Clea was just left with a nasty case of hiccups.

"There's something else you should know," Cottle said as Kara prepared to leave. She turned questioning eyes on him. Cottle got up, walked past her and pulled the curtain around them for privacy. Her heart began to pound again.

"Hemophilia is an inherited disease, which means she got it from one of her parents. It's not possible to get it any other way." Cottle's voice had dropped several notches.

Kara's eyes widened. "But I don't ..."

"She got it from her father," he interrupted.

"Sam has it?"

"Mr. Anders does not carry the gene for hemophilia. Only one person on this ship does. Major Adama."

**TBC**

**A/N: ** I'm not a medical person so I got a little help from a friend with the hemophilia issue. It is an inherited disease - this much is true, but there isn't a cure. We just made that part up to work with the story. There are also issues with Clea being a girl since the disease affects boys, and because it is passed down from mothers to their sons, but I decided to take some license with it and change the facts a little. I hope it doesn't interfere with your enjoyment of the story as a whole though.


	4. Truths

**'The Stars in Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Four - Truths**

"_The sun will fall, and the last moon rise, don't turn this tide away ..."_

Kara sank down on the chair behind her.

"Holy frak," she whispered, face draining of colour.

Cottle's eyebrow raised and he smirked inwardly. It was the first time he'd ever seen Starbuck nonplussed and it pleased him that he'd been the one to do it. But the doctor in him still worried about her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded, staring down at Clea as if for the first time. "I just can't believe ... Lee's her father," she said, voice low with wonder.

"You're not going to tell me this was an immaculate conception are you?" Cottle asked sarcastically.

Kara smirked and shook her head.

"So I take it at some point you and Major Adama were doing something other than punching the frak out of each other," Cottle said, referring to the 'dance' where Kara and Lee had beat the crap out of each other as the first step towards reconciliation.

She coloured but nodded, eyes meeting his somewhat shamefully.

Cottle's brow furrowed and he grabbed a medical book off the desk - his 'Bible' - and began paging through it quickly.

"What's wrong?" Kara asked, fear beginning to rise in her again.

"It's just ... she can't have ... unless ..." Cottle murmured, more to himself than to satisfy Kara's curiosity. "Here it is - 'girls can only inherit the active form of the disease if they possess two damaged x chromosomes - one from the father and one from the mother.' " He paused and looked at Kara appraisingly. "But that would mean ..."

Kara finished the thought. " ... that I carry the gene as well."

Cottle's frown grew deeper. "I don't remember finding that during your routine exams." He turned to the filing cabinet behind him and began searching for her file. He pulled it and swiveled back, laying it open on the desk before him.

"It says here ..." There was a long pause as he scanned the page. "Well frak me. Your bloodwork isn't here. None of it. What the hell ...?"

Kara's stomach began to flutter. Something wasn't adding up here.

"How can it ...?" Cottle was clearly annoyed. "Fine. I'll take another sample and do it now."

Kara nodded and lifted the arm of her sweatshirt, wincing as the Doc stuck the needle in.

"Come back in three hours. It'll take that long to do all the necessary tests."

"Yes sir," she said meekly.

As he watched her back disappear around the corner, only one thought was in his mind. _ I wonder if she'll tell them the truth about Clea ..._

_**XXXXX**_

_What am I going to do? _she thought, misery taking root in her heart and beginning to grow like a well-watered planet._ It'll ruin everyone's lives if I tell them the truth about Clea._

By the time she'd reached their quarters she was nearly in tears, not helped any by Clea who was till hiccuping and sniffling. Sam met them with a giant smile.

"How're my favourite girls?" he asked, engulfing them in a huge bear hug. "What's the matter sweetheart?" he asked Clea, picking her up out of Kara's arms as he spied the remains of her tears.

"She just had a needle."

Sam's face screwed up worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

Kara forced a smile. "No, just a routine vaccination," she lied, feeling the misery inside her take a stronger root as she kept the truth from her husband._ I can't tell him yet,_ she told herself._ I need to think and decide what's best for everyone before pulling the foundation out from under him. Sam doesn't deserve that - he's such a good man and he loves her dearly. Even if he isn't her father biologically he's great with her._ Another voice stepped up to play devil's advocate._ But Lee deserves to know he has a child - he deserves the chance to be a father to her as well, especially since his wife doesn't want to have kids and he likely never will unless he leaves her or she him._

Her consternation must have been evident on her face, and Sam, who knew her so well, didn't fail to see it.

"Are you okay?" he asked, stroking her cheek with the hand that wasn't holding Clea tucked in the crook of his arm.

"Fine," she said, over the growing lump in her throat. "I just don't like seeing her suffer."

Sam smiled down at the now-sleeping girl in his arms, then at Kara as he dropped a kiss on her forehead. "See? I told you you'd be a great mother."

Kara smiled sadly as she blinked back the tears. How could she possibly tell him Clea wasn't his daughter and ruin his life?

**XXXXX**

By the time Kara arrived in sickbay, exactly on time, Cottle was beside himself. He'd searched the office top to bottom while waiting for the tests to run - had even opened the sealed files from Baltar of his 'cylon detection' work to find something on Kara, but there was nothing. Absolutely nothing - her file folder was there, neatly labelled but though it was marked down that she'd been tested, there was no result.

"What the frakking hell ...?" he mumbled grumpily.

Kara plopped down on the chair in his office, much like before except without Clea this time.

"What is it?"

"All the bloodwork on you is missing ... like it never existed. Even Baltar's cylon test has no results."

Kara frowned. "That's odd."

"It's impossible. Unless someone tampered with it," Cottle said knowingly.

"But who would ...?" she began.

He shrugged. "You got me. I can't imagine what anyone stands to gain by removing your medical records."

Kara's stomach began to flutter again as her heart sped up in a staccato rhythm. Why would someone be trying to hide her medical records ... and a better question yet, _what_ was there to hide?

"Just forget it," Cottle said. "It's my worry, not yours. Back to the matter at hand. You do have the genetic code for hemophilia in your blood. I don't know how I didn't find it earlier."

"So what does that mean?" she asked curiously, wondering what the repercussions would be.

"You will pass the gene along to your children. If, like Clea, they're girls, it will be recessive - unless of course you and Major Adama have more, in which case it doesn't matter the sex, the active form of the disease will be passed along."

She shook her head. "I don't think that's likely."

"Then any girls you have will inherit the recessive strain to pass along to their children. Boys will inherit the active strain and have the disease themselves, but only pass it to their children in the recessive form. Unless _their _wives have it, in which case, like Clea, they'll inherit it from both parents ... do you see what I mean?"

Kara blinked a few times, slightly confused. "I think so."

"Of course there aren't any other carriers that I'm aware of , though I haven't tested everyone in the fleet, so that possibility is small ... unless there are other weird things going on around here ..."

Kara shrugged.

"It's not anything you need worry about Captain. If indeed you and Mr. Anders manage to have children, we'll deal with it appropriately. I stand by my initial assessment though - I think it's highly unlikely to damn near impossible that the two of you can have children together. In fact I'm surprised _you_ were able to conceive at all, even with someone else. It seems the Major is as virile as he appears to be," he added jocularly.

Kara blushed a deep red.

"Everything's fine," he said dismissively, standing to let her know they were done. "Now your only worry is what you'll do with this information."

"You won't tell anyone will you?" she begged, eyes pleading with him.

"Doctor/patient confidentiality. It's your choice whether you let the truth come out in the open or not. If it were a matter of life and death it would be different. This is ... an inconvenient and potentially painful truth but one that can be kept hidden if you so choose. Just let me know what you decide so I can act appropriately."

"I will," Kara promised, wondering if she was ever going to be able to decide what course of action was best.

**XXXXX**

She went to the gym, having another hour yet before Clea's next feeding, figuring a little time with some weights and a punching bag might clear her head slightly. She hadn't asked Cottle's permission - knowing he wouldn't have granted it - but who knew her body better than she did? No, she wasn't quite one hundred percent yet but she felt good and ready to do more than just sit around feeding and rocking a baby. She needed to exercise - to feel the blood pound in her veins and the adrenaline flow through her body like a drug. And she needed the emotional release it gave her.

Especially now.

She wasn't alone, despite the hour. Lee was there. Frak - she wasn't ready to face him yet. She turned to go.

"Kara," he called out, spotting her at the door.

_Frak!_ She stopped, took a deep breath and turned around. Blue eyes held hers - familiar blue eyes. How could she have missed it? Clea's eyes were identical to his.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Okay."

Silence.

"Are you ... here to work out?" he spoke awkwardly as he gestured back towards the equipment behind him.

"I was thinking I might," she answered quietly, averting her eyes from the sight of his straining biceps and pecs, now covered in a sheen of sweat. Her head had made the decision to stay with Sam and make their marriage work, but her body didn't seem to be able to control the response it had around his.

"Did the Doc say it was okay?"

"He said everything's fine," she answered evasively. Well he _had_ said that - just in a different context.

He shrugged, not knowing any better. "Do you need help - spotting or anything?"

Kara shot him a dirty look. She hated to be thought of as less than capable - especially by him.

"I'm fine," she said a little testily.

Lee took the hint and went back to the weight bench without saying anything more. Obviously she wasn't in a good mood and wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

Kara pulled off her sweatshirt and threw it in the corner on her way to taping up her hands to do a little work with the bag. She loosened up a little and began slowly, with light hits that would barely have been noticed had she leveled them at a person ... like Lee for instance. She began to push it a little since she was feeling good and beginning to get the adrenaline rush she was looking for.

_It really isn't fair to Sam to screw up everything we've worked so hard for these last months. And he loves Clea so very much - the guy turns to mush every time he looks at her. I guess it's true what they say about men with their daughters ..._

_Except she isn't his daughter, _the devil's advocate voice in her head reminded her. _Lee is her father, and given the way he looked at her when she was born and the bitterness in his tone when he told me Dee didn't want to have kids ... he deserves a chance with the daughter he'll never have otherwise._

_But it'll kill Sam to lose his daughter and his wife too, because there's no chance Lee will agree to share ... he'll want a whole family that includes me as well ..._

Her head began to swim. Too many conflicting thoughts making her brain sway back and forth like a tennis match. Her vision began to gray at the edges and she stumbled, falling heavily into the bag.

"Kara!" Lee called worriedly, rushing over to catch her just as her weight surpassed the bag's counter- push and she toppled over.

"Kara, are you okay?" he asked. His heart raced and he sent up a quick prayer of thanks that he'd had the presence of mind to be watching her constantly since she'd arrived._ Not presence of mind_, his inner voice reminded him. _It's called love. You've never been able to keep your eyes off her because you're in love with her. Always have been, always will be._

He pushed that thought aside to deal with the situation calmly and rationally.

"I'm okay," she said weakly. The world was still spinning and she felt rather sick to her stomach, though perhaps that was more due to the stress of her emotional situation rather than pushing it too hard physically.

_Tell him_, a voice in her head said. _Tell him! _She looked into his concerned face and their eyes met. The look shared was an old one - one they'd reserved only for each other since the first day they'd met. Others had mistaken it for lust.

It wasn't - it was love.

"Lee, there's something I need to tell you," she began, then she blacked out.

**TBC**

A/N: Thank you to those who pointed out the medical inconsistencies in my story. I did some research on the topic but obviously not enough. I've tried to correct it and make it work with the story still but please forgive me if I haven't got the details one hundred percent correct. I'm having a little trouble figuring it all out myself! Please suspect your disbelief and try to enjoy the story for the fiction it is. Thanks! 


	5. Pathways

**'The Stars in Your Hand ... ' **

**Chapter Five - Pathways**

"_If you want it, so start it again, it's the last time ..."_

She blinked her way back to consciousness, not knowing if she'd been out minutes or hours. She became aware of someone standing close - very close, with an arm around her, helping hold her up. A cold, wet cloth was pressed against her forehead.

"Lee?" she said, perplexed, as she realized who it was so near to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking deeply into her eyes as if to discern the answer there.

"How long have I been out?"

"Not long."

"_How_ long?" she demanded insistently.

"Two, maybe three minutes. Like I said, not long."

She nodded thoughtfully.

"The Doc didn't clear you to come did he?" Lee asked, the tone of his voice asking for honesty from her. She gave it to him.

"I didn't ask him," she answered, pulling away.

"Maybe you should give yourself a little time to recover before pushing it so hard," he suggested gently.

They stared into one another's eyes, Lee asking without words.

"You're probably right." She rubbed her eyes a couple of times and headed out of the wash area of the changeroom.

"Kara."

She stopped.

"Tell me."

She closed her eyes and held them shut tightly. Now that the moment of truth was here she wasn't sure she could do it. The upheaval it would cause in everyone's lives would be too great. Was the truth worth it?

Lee stepped forward and took her arm, squeezing it gently.

"Tell me," he said again. "Isn't it time we were honest with one another?"

She turned to face him. His breath tingled on her cheek, lips only inches away from her.

"Lee, I ... I don't know ... don't know if I can," she stammered.

"Is it that bad?"

"I ... I ... don't know." She bit her lip, a sure sign of inner turmoil. Lee knew it well - he'd seen it on too many occasions to mistake it for something else.

"I thought we agreed to stay friends," he said softly, imploringly. "Friends are honest with each other. Friends can tell each other anything."

"Lee, I just ... I just don't know how to tell you this." Tears began to form in her eyes.

He enclosed her hands in his. "Just say it."

The moment was so intimate. A memory flashed back - the two of them in the pilots rec, all alone.

_'If I leave Sam, will you still leave Dee?'_

Kara had only been half serious. She _had_ wanted Lee but she wasn't sure she'd been willing to sacrifice Sam for him. if this had been Lee's response - the intimate touch, gentle voice, understanding look ... things would have been different. Given the situation she was in now, she almost wished that was how things _had_ gone. It would have hurt Sam to lose her then but not devastated him like this would.

Unless ... he didn't have to find out. Maybe Lee would be willing to let her and Sam raise the baby.

Who was she kidding? He was an Adama - he was possessive of things that belonged to him ... even things he thought _should_ belong to him, like herself.

"Clea is your daughter." It was barely more than a whisper but she couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud.

He jumped backwards as if she'd slapped him. "What?"

"Clea is your daughter." She was able to get them out slightly louder this time, as if saying them had broken the spell.

"Kara ... I ..." He was literally gasping for air, feeling like she'd sucker-punched him as hard as she was capable of. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "There's a genetic marker ..."

He paled. "The hemophilia."

Her face screwed up in confusion. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew."

"How come you never said anything?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't really important. I mean, I was inoculated as a baby so I didn't have to suffer the disease."

"But you knew you could pass it on to your children." Her voice held a small measure of accusation.

His voice cooled in response. "I wasn't planning on having children. Why would it matter then?"

"You could have told me." There was definite accusation now.

"Why should I? It's not like you were willing to commit to me."

"So if I _had _been you would have said something?"

"Of course."

"Did you tell Dee?"

His eyes glittered darkly. "I didn't have to. She made it quite clear early on that she didn't want to have children and wasn't willing to come off the birth control shots." His brow furrowed. "Speaking of which ... weren't you on them?

"Of course." She shrugged. "I have no idea how it happened." She hung her head, refusing to look him in the eye. "We thought it was a miracle."

"It was." Lee's voice had softened and dropped several notches. "We thought we weren't meant to be together but obviously we were wrong. Maybe there's something to this destiny of yours after all, and maybe I'm supposed to be a part of it."

She met his eyes. He remembered the talk they'd had after Caprica - about Sharon's insistence that the cylons needed her for some sort of special 'destiny'. However she hadn't shared with him what Leoben had said and done to her on New Caprica - she'd only partially shared her experiences with Sam, not because she didn't want to hide anything from him, but because she just couldn't bear to talk about it.

Still.

And as for the whole drawing/painting thing with the mural she'd painted in her apartment turning up in the Temple on the algae planet - well, only Helo knew about her connection to it. She'd heard Roslin and Tyrol were sure it meant something and were trying to puzzle it out from the Scriptures but Kara had been too busy _and to be_ _honest, too scared _to be a part of that discussion. She was curious about her destiny but at the same time she really didn't want to know. What if it meant she had to die? Soon? No, she really didn't want to know.

She pulled away. "Maybe," she said evasively.

"Kara," Lee said warningly, recognizing the signs of denial. "What are you not telling me?"

"It's just ... I don't know if I want everyone to know." Her eyes found his and held them. "It'll break Sam's heart to find out she's not his." The lump in her throat began to grow so she could barely speak. "He loves her so."

"I know." The misery in his voice was palpable. "But she's my daughter ... _our _daughter Kara. We have a baby." He smiled though his eyes were filling with tears. "It's the only child I'm ever likely to have ..."

"I know." The misery in her voice matches his. "And I want to ... but I don't." The tears broke free and began to spill down her cheeks.

Lee grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, holding her as she sobbed on his shoulder. His tears were trickling down her back as well.

Eventually both of their tears subsided and they stood just holding each other for long minutes.

"So what are we going to do?" Kara asked sadly, face still buried in his neck.

"We're going to tell them."

It felt like they were repeating a conversation from another lifetime, it seemed so long ago and far away. She didn't want it to end up the same way again but she just couldn't seem to help herself ...

"I don't know ..."

Lee pulled back and lifted her chin with a finger. "She's our baby Kara and she deserves to know. We can't hide it now and then spring it on everyone ten years from now when we decide she's old enough to know the truth."

"By then it probably won't even matter," she muttered to herself. "I'll have screwed things up and Sam and I won't even be together anymore."

"Don't say that!" Lee was fierce. "You and Sam have done an incredible job of making it work, given what you had to start with ..." He coloured. " ... and how badly I screwed things up for you."

She put a gentle hand on his cheek. "It wasn't all your fault. No one forced me to do what I did ..." She trailed off as their eyes met and the old familiar sparks - long dormant - returned. She felt a pleasurable thrill run down her spine and could see it answered in his body as he shivered slightly.

It was as if time slowed ... their heads moved forward till their lips just met, not really kissing, just savouring being in the one place that had always felt right in their hearts, though their minds had fought it for so long.

Their lips began to move, slowly, delicately, tasting each other again as a delicacy forbidden but not forgotten. The intensity grew quickly as buried feelings resurfaced and did what they'd always done before - drive all rational thought out of their minds and let their primal sides take over.

Before either of them were aware of it, they'd become locked in an embrace, her arms on his shoulders, pulling him closer - his one arm around her waist, the other hand on the back of her neck as their mouths devoured one another.

She felt a familiar dangerous warmth spread through her body, causing an ache of desire she'd only ever felt for him. She couldn't give in to it ... it was wrong, like it always had been. Especially now.

She pulled back, face burning with shame. "Lee, we can't," she whispered.

His hold on her only tightened and the hand on her neck began to caress her softly. "I've missed you," he murmured, voice husky with pent-up desire. His eyes bored holes in hers, saying everything silently that he wasn't out loud.

"We can't do this anymore. We made our decision to stay with our spouses ..."

"It was the wrong one. We belong together Kara."

She looked at him full-on for a few minutes before responding.

"Then why didn't you choose me when I gave you the chance?" she asked softly. "Why did you turn me away?"

"Because I was afraid. I'd asked you to be mine before and you'd run away and left me. I was afraid you'd do it again."

"So_ now_ you're asking me to screw up my marriage? Now that we have a child?"

"She's not his Kara, she's mine."

"Biologically yes. But as far as he and everyone else is concerned, she's his."

"Well what do you want me to say?" He threw up his arms in exasperation. "You can't have it both ways. You couldn't then and you can't now."

"If I asked you to keep it a secret and let me and Sam raise her, would you?"

"Is that what you want? Because if it is, then why the frak did you tell me in the first place? So you could torment me ... with yet something else I can't have?"

She turned away. "I don't know why I told you."

"Because it was time for the truth. We've lied to each other long enough."

She spun around to face him. "Do you know how much the truth is going to hurt everyone involved?"

Lee nodded. "Think about how much the truth is going to hurt _us_ by keeping it a secret. And how much it's going to hurt Clea when she discovers that secret."

She sighed. "I don't know what to do Lee, I just don't know what to do. Can we ... can I have some time to think about it? I only just found out ... and I'm not sure I'm thinking clearly."

Lee sighed as well. "Fine. Take some time and think about it."

She reached out a hand in a gesture of reconciliation and took his. "This is bigger than both of us. It's about so much more than just 'us'. I want to make sure we're doing what's best for everyone."

Lee nodded, squeezing her hand lightly. "I'll walk you back to your quarters to make sure you get there okay. Just promise me you won't come back here till the Doc says it's okay."

"Promise."

XXXXXX

"Is she going to do it right this time?"

She found the note of hopefulness in his voice amusing. "Probably not. She's a screw-up, remember?"

He fixed her with a mock-nasty glare. "Not unlike someone else I know."

She smiled.

He smiled back. "The two of you have so much in common."

"I think it's supposed to be that way," she said serenely.

"If only she had your wisdom."

"She's acquiring it. Each time she repeats the cycle she gets closer and closer to the truth."

"Can't I just give her one little nudge in the right direction?"

"You know what He'll do if you do," she frowned.

"I know," he sighed wearily. "I'll be good and wait."

She patted him on the shoulder. "It won't be long now. I've a feeling this time is the right time."

**TBC**


	6. Fragmentation

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' - chapter 6**

**ooooooooooooooooo**

**Chapter Six - Fragmentation**

_"In this madness, take it while you can, it's the last time ..."_

Sam noticed there was something wrong - had been ever since the night Lee had brought Kara back from the gym. She'd been evasive about what she'd done that night and the inner turmoil she'd apparently put to rest seemed back in full force. For a short while he'd felt an old familiar dread in the pit of his stomach - was Kara involved with Lee again? She was nervous and jumpy, unlike the calm, serene woman she'd became when she was pregnant ... and Lee _had_ been the one she'd been with that night ... But he dismissed it quickly. She was just as devoted to him as she'd been before and hadn't been anywhere alone since that night, four days ago now, so he was convinced that whatever coincidence had brought them together at the gym that night had been just that, coincidence. Lee had said, in an aside so Kara couldn't hear, that he'd been worried that she hadn't seemed strong enough to be there yet and he'd wanted to make sure she got back to their quarters without any mishaps. Sam believed he'd been telling the truth.

So what was wrong with Kara?

He watched her carefully and realized the only time she looked sad was when she was with Clea.

Postpartum depression?

The more he observed her the more he was sure he'd hit the nail on the head. He decided a visit to Doc Cottle might be in order so he stole a few minutes at the end of one of his training sessions to stop in and talk to him.

"Postpartum depression?" Cottle echoed.

Sam nodded. "Yes sir. I think so anyway. In the last week she's changed - she'd jumpy, unable to sleep at night ... whenever she thinks I'm not looking I see the expression on her face as she watches Clea and she looks miserable."

"Hmm." Cottle reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a cigar. "Mind if I smoke?"

Sam shook his head. "Go ahead."

Cottle thought for a few moments as he took long drags on his cigar before answering. He knew exactly what was plaguing Kara but his hands were tied. He felt bad for the young man in front of him - however this story played out he was sure Samuel T. Anders was the one who was going to end up getting hurt.

"Could be postpartum depression," he agreed placidly.

"I'm sure of it," Sam said firmly. "She was hesitant about becoming a mother in the first place, what with her abusive childhood and all ..." He stopped, suddenly realizing that perhaps Kara had never shared that part of her life with him.

Cottle's eyebrows raised.

"You didn't know," Sam said quietly.

Cottle shook his head. "Didn't know but I suspected as much from her medical history files. The x-rays alone ..." He shook his head. "She's had far too many bones broken to be explained away by normal childhood accidents."

Sam's gaze dropped to the floor. His heart wept for her every time he thought of how anyone could have hurt the beautiful, wondrous child she must have been. He'd spent their entire relationship trying to put the broken pieces of her back together again, to show her she was worthy of love, but as successful as he'd been so far, he didn't think he'd ever finish.

"Should I get her to come see you?" he asked.

Cottle shook his head. "You try telling her there's something wrong and she needs to see me and you're liable to put up her back like an angry porcupine. If I make it an order she'll grumble but she'll obey it."

Sam smiled widely. It seemed he wasn't the only who understood his Kara.

"Yes sir," he chuckled. "I'll let you take care of it. Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Cottle blew out a couple of smoke rings. "Really, _don't _mention it."

**oooooooooooooooo**

"Is this it? Is she going to make the right choice this time?" The voice was almost pleading in it's earnestness.

"Patience my son," the wise one said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Events are forcing her hand. A decision will be made shortly."

"This is where she screws up time and time again though right?" A new female voice said, sarcasm heavy in the tone.

"It's never been played out quite like this before has it?" A new male voice put in. "I don't remember there being a child before."

"No it's never been done quite like this. The child is new - a variable they've not encountered before."

"Do you think it will help them make the right choice?"

"I think it will force them to see the situation in a new light," the wise one said slowly. "And coming at it from a new perspective may just be what's needed."

The others all nodded.

"Have patience my children. It will all yet come to pass and they _will_ find the true way."

**oooooooooooooooo**

"Lee."

He turned around, jacket half-unbuttoned, to face his wife.

They stared at one another, unspeaking, for several moments.

"What?" Lee finally said, feeling the tension climbing to unbearable levels.

Still she looked at him, accusation visible in her eyes. He'd seen it too many times to mistake it for anything else.

"Are you going to tell me?" she asked.

"Tell you what?" Lee responded, irritation beginning to creep into his voice.

"It's _he_r isn't it?"

A puzzled frown crossed Lee's face.

"Kara. You're seeing her again aren't you?" Dee's face softened into an 'oh why me?' look - she was going to play the sympathy card again.

He willed himself not to blush at the memory of kissing Kara. "No, of course not. Frak Dee, she's just had a baby only a few weeks ago. How low would that be?"

Dee crossed her arms over her chest as if hugging herself. "This is exactly how you acted when you were sleeping with her before - working lots of extra shifts, or so you _said_, making sure to come back to our quarters when I was sleeping so you wouldn't have to talk to me, never able to get it up in bed ..."

"That's not fair!" he broke out angrily, yanking his jacket off so forcefully that several of the buttons went skidding across the metal floor with a ping.

"Then prove it!" she said, anger flaring in her green eyes. "Make love to me now." She threw off her dressing gown to reveal a sexy lace teddy - the only piece of lingerie she owned.

"Oh come on Dee, you know I can't just turn it on and off like a tap," he argued, continuing to remove clothing, no trace of arousal present.

"Were you just with_ her_?" Dee's eyes flashed fire. "Is that why you don't want me?"

"Oh for the god's sake Dee, get over your jealousy already! I told you when the affair ended that I would always love Kara and I do. She holds a very special place in my heart. But I'm happy for her that she's happy with Sam. He's a good man and they seem to be a happy family." As he spoke his heart turned to lead and he knew what he had to do. He stepped forward and took Dee's hands in his own. "That doesn't mean I love you any less." His voice softened lovingly. "There's room in my heart for both of you - you just need to accept that. I love her in a way that wants her to be happy. She's had a crappy life. Believe me," he added, seeing the look on Dee's face and knowing full-well what she was thinking. "A lot of the things that have happened to her weren't her fault, nor did she deserve them. She's suffered more than most people should ever have to in their lifetimes and I'm just happy that she's finally happy."

"So why are you acting strange? Ignoring me?"

Lee sighed. "I'm not ignoring you Dee. I'm sorry if I seem like I have been. I've just got a lot on my mind lately."

Dee slipped her arms around his tank-clad torso. "Maybe you should try talking to me then. I am your wife, you're supposed to confide in me."

Lee closed his arms around her as well. "I'm sorry." He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "I guess I'm just the sort of person who likes to keep things close to his chest."

"You don't say," she said dryly, smiling.

"I learned from the best - my father has never been one to confide in people either and I guess I'm a lot more like him than I care to admit."

"Well maybe you should change that," she whispered softly. "That's what I'm here for."

Lee closed his eyes. If only it were so easy ... but the things he was struggling with were things he might never be able to share with her.

Dee leaned up and kissed him, arms beginning to caress him in the way she knew would make him respond.

Lee made a serious effort to please his wife that night, knowing that his recent aloof behaviour had hurt her and that she hadn't deserved it. And if he kept his eyes closed through most of it, imagining creamy-white skin and flaxen hair instead of the chocolate-brown and black he was used to ... well, she never had to find out what it was that inspired him to be such a good lover.

**ooooooooooooooo**

She paced nervously, awaiting his imminent arrival. She'd talked with Cottle, though already aware Sam was concerned about her, and decided it was time to make a final decision about Clea. She had, and now it was time to let Lee know.

She felt rather than heard him, the prickling of the skin at the nape of her neck letting her know he was almost there. Fifteen seconds later the hatch opened and in he came, looking every bit as uncomfortable as she felt.

"Hi," he said softly, stopping with his back against the closed hatch.

"Hi." She wrung her hands nervously in front of her. "Look Lee, I wanted to talk to you about my decision. I've been doing a lot of thinking ..."

"So have I," he broke in. "Haven't been able to think of much else."

" ... and I wanted you to know that ..."

"Kara wait. I need to talk to you before you make your final decision."

"But Lee it's okay, I want to tell Sam ..."

"I don't want you to tell Sam ..."

They both stopped, having said the words at almost exactly the same moment.

Lee let out a non-verbal exclamation that sounded a lot like 'huh'. "Figures. When we will ever be on the same page about anything?"

"Probably never," she said quietly, a small smile lighting her face. "That's always been our problem hasn't it?"

He nodded, a sad smile gracing his face.

"Why don't you want me to tell Sam?" she asked softly. The sadness in her eyes shone like a beacon. "You don't want to be a part of Clea's life?"

"Kara, no! Of course I do. Gods - she's my daughter ... our daughter. Of course I want to be a part of her life. It's just ... I know how painful it will be for everyone and ..." his gaze dropped, "I know Sam will be a good father, probably better than I could ever be."

"Don't say that Lee. Of course you'd be a good father," she whispered, walking over to stand before him.

"It's not like I've had a good role model," he said, voice catching in his throat.

"I didn't have a good role model as a mother either but I'm finding a way to muddle through," she offered, putting a hand up on his chest. The electricity sizzled between them.

"I'm figuring maybe it's best if we just leave well enough alone. You and Sam can take care of her and maybe I can visit sometimes? Spend a little time with her?" His eyes were begging.

"No. I want you to be her father Lee. I want us to be a family - you, me and Clea."

He searched her eyes, incredulous at her words. "Are you _sure_ that's what you want? I mean, you and Sam have been working so hard ..."

She stepped forward and pressed her lips against his. His arms slipped around her waist, as if of their own accord and his lips responded immediately.

"Yes I'm sure," she said huskily a few minutes later. "I screwed up what we had before - you've given me several chances and I've managed to frak them all up. I'm not ruining what we have this time." She paused and took a deep breath. " I love Sam - he's someone very special but he's not you. I've been in love with you for so long Lee, it feels like forever. Now we have even more reason to be together - we have a child - we made a baby Lee, can you believe it? If it wasn't for the fact that I hold her in my arms every day I wouldn't believe it myself." Her eyes became cloudy with tears. "We finally did something right."

He let his head drop forwards so his cheek was resting on the top of her head. Loose strands of hair tickled him till he smiled. "Yeah, we did. The question is can we keep doing things right or are we going to screw it up again?"

"You mean am_ I_ going to screw it up again," she said, voice bubbling with humour.

"No, I meant we. I'm pretty good at frakking things up too - I'm just better at hiding the mess."

"Guess you had more practice as a kid. You had a brother to blame it on - I had no siblings so my mom always knew it was my fault when things went wrong."

Lee laughed softly. "I guess that must be it." He pulled away and held her so their eyes met. "Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?" he asked again.

"Is it what _you _want?" she countered, needing to know before she answered.

His eyes bored holes into her very soul. "It's what I've always wanted Kara. I love you, I've always wanted to be with you. So far it's just never worked out."

"It's what I want too," she whispered, blinking back tears.

"Then I guess we tell them."

**TBC**


	7. Balance

**Chapter 7 - Balance**

_'If you want it, don't look at my face, it's the last time ...'_

**oooooooooooooooooo**

"No. Uh uh." Sam shook his head vehemently. "I don't believe you."

"It's true," Kara whispered, cradling the infant close to her like a shield against the anger she knew was going to come at her. Sam was a patient man - almost too patient - but when he got angry, boy did he get angry.

"You're lying to me." Sam felt his stomach churn with bitter pain and disappointment. "You're lying to me because you want to be with _him_."

Kara's mouth worked but no sound came out. She really had nothing to say to that one.

He interpreted her silence correctly. "You _have_ been seeing him again haven't you?" he accused, eyes like burnished steel.

"No! I haven't been with Lee since ..." She struggled to find words.

" ... since he got you pregnant."

"I thought the baby was yours Sam. I _never _suspected ..." Her tone was pleading.

"Someone need to refresh you on how the facts of life work?" he sneered.

She squared her shoulders against his assault. "I only found out he was Clea's father a week ago."

"A week?" he cried incredulously. "And you didn't tell me?"

Kara flinched involuntarily. Sam was definitely mad. Angrier than she'd ever seen him.

"I ... I was trying to think of what was best for Clea," she faltered.

"And screwing me around is what's best?"

"Sam, it's not like that." She sighed. "I know you'd be a fantastic father. You already are," she amended, seeing the look of pain cross his face. "But someday she's going to need to know the truth and how will she take it then, knowing we lied to her for years and her real father was only a few doors away?"

"Why would she need to know?" Sam demanded harshly. "Consider it like an adoption."

"Because she's got a special medical condition," Kara answered sadly. "She's going to need to know about it, and she inherited it from Lee." Her brow creased as she thought. "And me too apparently, but I don't recall it ever being mentioned before now."

Sam cocked a curious eyebrow at her.

She proceeded to tell him all about it, hoping she'd understood enough of Cottle's explanation to retell it correctly. "That's how I found out about Lee - otherwise we'd never have known she wasn't yours."

Sam stared at her dispassionately for a minute ... then another. "So what do you want to do about the situation?" he asked matter-of-factly.

Kara shuffled uncomfortably, eyes dropping to look at Clea, sleeping in her arms.

"That's what I thought," he said coldly, striding over to the locker and slamming it open.

"Please, Sammy."

He turned on her and the look on his face literally scared her. His eyes tore at her soul.

""Don't you dare call me that!" he bit out, pursing his lips distastefully. "This whole thing was a lie. Our relationship, our marriage ..." He grabbed his athletic bag and began stuffing clothes into it hastily. "I should have known it was too good to be true."

That stung like a dagger through Kara's heart. 'You're nothing but a screw-up' ran through her mind, her mother's words, spoken first to her two decades earlier and repeated many a time after that.

She walked over and placed Clea in her bassinet, chin quivering as she fought tears.

"It wasn't," she said softly, barely regaining control as she stepped up beside him. She laid a hand on his arm, covering the marriage tattoo. "I love you Sam. It wasn't a lie."

He turned to face her and his face showed that sadness was winning the war against anger within him.

"You say you love me but the minute something unforeseen happens you go running back to him," he said softly, voice husky with unshed tears. He pulled his arm away. "I was only your refuge when you wanted to get away from him. I've never been anything more than that to you."

Kara shook her head, tears prickling again.

"Search your heart Kara. You know it's true. Maybe you do love me, and I'm not really convinced that's true, but even if you do, you love him more."

She blinked long and hard, willing to tears away with a huge effort.

He resumed packing in silence.

She watched him, also in silence, arms crossed over her chest defensively.

"Aren't you even going to say goodbye to her?" she choked out as he reached for the hatch.

He turned back to look at her. "Why? She's your daughter, not mine."

He swung himself out quickly and shut the hatch quietly out of habit. He didn't want to see her falling apart, though he'd chosen those words precisely_ because_ they would wound her. His actions were twofold though - he didn't want her to see him cry, and the grieving he was going to have to live with had already begun.

Tonight he'd lost a daughter and a wife.

**ooooooooooooooooo**

As he walked around the corner he bumped into someone heavily, knocking her to the ground. He wiped his wet eyes and blinked away the remainder of the tears, then stretched out a hand to help.

It was Dee.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," he apologized as she took his hand and pulled herself up.

"It's okay," she said brusquely, wiping an arm across her eyes to hide the tell-tale wetness there. She turned away and picked up the overnight bag she'd dropped in the collision, then turned back to face him.

They stared at one another for a moment, eyes darting back and forth between faces and duffel bags.

"He told you huh?" Sam said, nodding at the bag on her shoulder.

She clutched at it protectively and nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"You too?" she finally whispered.

Sam sighed heavily. "Yeah. I can't believe it."

"I know." Dee's voice took on strength. "I can't believe this is happening. I thought things were going so well."

Sam met her eyes. "Evidently we both got played for fools."

Her chin quivered and her eyes filled with tears again.

He touched her shoulder in a comforting gesture. "Come on. You can show me where we can find spare quarters on this boat."

"We have to register with the quartermaster and give a reason for why we need new bunks," she said. "And that means a report will go to the Admiral."

"So? Gossip travels fast around here. It's not like everyone won't know by morning anyway," Sam said, forcing a half-hearted smile.

She matched it then frowned again. "I just wish the Admiral didn't have to find out ... I feel like such a failure."

He squeezed her shoulder. "I have a feeling it's Lee he's going to be the most disappointed in, followed closely by Kara. You and I are just the victims."

She sighed. "Let's go then. I can't face spending another night here."

He squeezed one more time then let go, knowing no words could offer her the comfort she needed. She too was nursing a broken heart.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

A quiet knock on the hatch made Kara pull her hands away from her face. She got up and opened it to find Lee on the other side.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, making no move to enter.

The sorrow in her eyes was tangible. "I don't know."

"Can I come in?"

She nodded and pulled the door wide for him. He came in and stood in the centre of the room as if unsure what to do next. She turned and faced him, seeing the same sorrow in his blue eyes.

"It hurt so much doesn't it?" Lee choked out. "I didn't realize hurting her was going to hurt me as well."

"I told you everyone was going to end up getting hurt and for once I was right," Kara said, smiling weakly despite the tears that were pooling in her eyes.

Lee strode over and took her in his arms, burying his face in her hair as he held her close. "It's so much harder than I thought it was going to be."

Kara's answer was only tears.

Some time later she felt him beginning to caress her hair, running his fingers through it softly as he combed out the snarls.

"We'll make it through, I know we can do it," he whispered softly, stroking her hair repeatedly.

She lifted her tear-stained face to his and nodded.

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, tasting the salt from her tears. He continued kissing softly, following the trail of wetness from one cheek to the other, finally working his way to her lips. They were warm and feverishly searching for his, drinking him in in desperation.

It wasn't long before Lee's hands began to wander, caressing her softly, gently, as he made his way to the front of her sweatshirt. He unzipped it and eased it off, groaning at the sight of her even-more-full than usual breasts. He slid his arms around her, the warm skin of her torso pulling him in like a magnet.

"Lee," she murmured, as his lips began to tickle her neck and earlobe on his way down.

He sighed with pleasure - no one tasted like she did. "Mmm."

The vibration sent shockwaves straight to her core and she shuddered in his arms and tightened her grip on his shoulders.

Some time later he stopped his exploration of her body with his mouth and stood to face her. He cupped her face delicately, thumbs caressing her cheeks. "Are you sure you're ready, because we don't have to ..."

"I'm ready. I want this Lee," she whispered, face, neck and chest flushed with desire. She leaned forward and kissed him. I'm ready."

He kissed her lovingly then clapsed her hand in his and led her to the bed.

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

"It has begun," the wise one said, a warm happiness in his tone.

"She's made the right choice this time?" a voice asked eagerly.

"Doesn't seem like the right choice to me," a female voice grumbled. "Just look at how _they're_ hurting."

The wise one put his hand on her shoulder. "Sometimes pain is necessary. The prophecies will be fulfilled as they are meant to and everyone plays their part. Those who appear to be happy now are going to suffer yet themselves, and those who are unhappy will find happiness eventually."

"It all seems pretty convoluted to me," a prosaic voice chimed in. "Couldn't it just be as easy as following directions? We could just lay it all out and have them follow it step by step."

A couple of other faces showed agreement though none were willing to say a word.

"They wouldn't have a sense of accomplishment. It would be too easy and humans are distrustful of things that are easy. I made them that way on purpose so they would always seek deeper truths and more complex paths."

"So are we going to get some action now?" the impatient one asked.

"Patience. Events are moving in the right direction and though it may seem like it's taking a lot of time to come to fruition, compared to the vast amount of time and space in the cosmos this is but a mere drop of water in a vast ocean."

**TBC**


	8. Union

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Eight - Union**

_"It's not forever, the dust in the wind, for the last time ..."_

"Are you sure?" Adama was angry ... or upset ... or confused ... or something. Kara wasn't quite sure what. She'd never seen this expression on his face or heard this particular tone in his voice, so she was having trouble placing the emotion behind it.

"Clea is your granddaughter dad," Lee put in softly, knowing all too well the feeling his father was feeling. Like he'd been surprised by a punch in the stomach and had had the wind knocked out of him.

"Yes I understand the facts," Adama replied impatiently.

"I don't think you do," Lee interrupted, anger darkening his voice. "Clea is my daughter, your flesh and blood. She's family, and you're one of the only survivors lucky enough to have any family, let alone to have another generation begin. You may not like the idea of me and Kara together but we're Clea's parents and we want to raise her together."

"You're right, I don't like it. How could you do this to your brother Lee?" Cold anger emanated from him.

Lee's face turned red. "Come on dad, Zak's been gone for four years. It's not like I'm stealing his girlfriend."

"Fiancee." The word was biting.

Lee's eyes flashed angrily. "Fine, fiancee. Yes, Kara was supposed to marry Zak, be _his_ wife and have _his_ children but it didn't work out that way. Maybe we shouldn't have had the relationship we did, but we love each other and it happened, and we had a child. Another Adama - my daughter, your granddaughter. You're not going to turn us away and lose the chance to know your grandchild just because you don't approve of what Kara and I did are you?" His face was very red now, partly with anger, partly with embarrassment. He had enough Adama pride in him to feel shame at the affair and felt especially uncomfortable talking about it. Particularly with his father.

Adama glared at him for a moment then his eyes swiveled to look at Kara, strangely silent for once as she held the small child in her arms. His gaze came to rest on the baby and softened, seeing the little hint of white fuzz poking out of the blanket, and suddenly remembering the days he'd held similar bundles of joy.

"No," he sighed heavily. "No, I'm not." His eyes met Kara's. "May I hold her?"

She lifted her head proudly, acknowledging the deference in his tone. He might not like that Kara was the mother of Lee's child but he was going to accept it and learn to approve.

"Of course," she said softly, holding Clea slightly away from her so Adama could snuggle her in his arms.

Lee let out the breath he'd been holding. Kara was a bit of a wild card and he hadn't been sure how she'd react to Adama's obvious disapproval of her. That was something she was unused to - as far as he knew the two were as close as father and daughter. Though there had been some friction between them when she'd returned from New Caprica ...

Having his father on their side was going to make life much easier. Sam and Dee were already upset - their friends were likely going to be as well, and he felt sure many people were going to look at him and Kara much differently now, knowing the truth about what they'd done and the consequences it was having on everyone's lives.

"What are you going to do about your spouses?" Adama asked, voice low.

Lee and Kara glanced at one another.

"We've already told them," Lee answered.

Adama nodded. "I see." He paused a moment and there was a wealth of emotion in the silence. "I'll have the President's office draw up the divorce papers then?"

They both nodded, unwilling to voice their assent in light of the Admiral's very obvious disappointment.

Adama handed Clea back. "I expect this won't affect your working relationship," he stated flatly. "And I don't want you missing shifts because of it. Once Kara's back on active duty you'll need a babysitter. I want my best pilots available," he added gruffly, catching them both by surprise with the sudden compliment.

"Yes sir," Lee said proudly, a hint of a smile back on his face. "Kara should be back on rotation in three weeks, assuming Cottle finds her fit."

"Good." Adama nodded. As they headed out the door, he heard a brief snatch of the conversation.

"He'd _better_ find me fit. I've _so_ missed my viper." Kara's voice, while tinged with humour was wistful.

Lee put his hand on the small of her back. "I'm sure he will. Keeping you grounded would be like asking for disaster."

Though they were teasing, there was a tone to their voices he'd never heard before. A comfort with one another that he'd never seen. With anyone else he'd have been happy to see it. With them, he found it vaguely disturbing. When Apollo and Starbuck were getting along it meant the universe was spun sideways on it's axis ... and it usually meant disaster was about to strike.

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

She lay with herhead thrown back against the soft leather couch, eyes closed, moaning appreciatively as he massaged her legs. William Adama may have been promoted to Commander because of his tactical skills but the man sure knew how to use his hands as well. She wasn't sure if he realized just what a dangerous weapon they were - she was putty in them and would give away secrets (if only she had them) after just a few short minutes with him.

"Good?" he murmured, always more at ease and personal with her when they were alone in his quarters.

"Better than that."

He smiled and kept at it, knowing how much it relaxed her, also knowing how badly she needed that relaxation. He'd been watching her and since their departure from the algae planet she'd been on edge, frustrated, seeking answers to questions he'd prefer to ignore if given a chance. But she seemed driven somehow, as though and unseen force was pushing her to find those answers.

"I've been having dreams Bill." She spoke softly with eyes still closed, as though imparting a secret of great value.

"What kind of dreams?"

"Weird dreams. Disturbing dreams."

"I keep telling you spending evenings with me is bad for you."

She turned her head and opened her eyes, smiling as she realized he was teasing her.

"It certainly is. I'm getting used to being spoiled."

"You deserve it. Being President of the Colonies is hard work. You deserve a little pampering."

She gave him a charming smile. "And being the Admiral of the fleet and protector of all humanity _isn't _hard work? Who spoils you?"

"It's enough just to have you here."

She chuckled. "Does anyone else know you're such a hopeless romantic?"

"I hope not. It's hard to run a tight ship when people think you're a softie."

She put a hand on his thigh and squeezed gently. "You _are_ a softie."

"Shhh ..." He put a finger on her lips. "Don't tell anyone." His hand lingered, warmed by the feel of her breath as she inhaled and exhaled rapidly.

"Dreams," he breathed softly.

Her eyes widened, pupils dilating slightly.

"You were going to tell me about your dreams."

The spell was broken. She sighed and looked away.

"I've been dreaming I'm falling into a vortex - pulled in by something I can't see. It's dark and I'm lost - I can't see anything or anyone."

"Have you talked to a shrink about this? I believe there is still _one_ ..." he teased.

She smirked. "I'm serious Bill."

He smiled. "So am I. Well sort of. It just sounds to me like you're feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibility and that you need a break."

"So, he's a psychiatrist _and_ an Admiral," she teased.

"I'm a man of many talents."

"So I'm learning." She eyed him appreciatively. "So what do you suggest for my condition 'doctor'?"

" A vacation."

She let out a big sigh. "Yeah. That would be nice. Got any place in mind?"

"My quarters?"

Her eyes widened and a lovely warm smile spread across her face. "They are very nice and the company is fantastic but I'm not sure locking myself in here for a few days would be good for my reputation."

"Screw your reputation."

She stared at him, shock replacing the smile on her face as she realized he was serious.

"I'm surprised at you Bill," she teased, unsure if she was ready to accept what he was clearly offering. It was one thing to flirt ... "Where's the good soldier who always does the right thing? I would never have pegged you as a man who'd follow his heart with wild abandon."

"Guess I'm learning from my kids," he countered playfully, not willing to give up but not wanting to push too hard either, lest he push her away.

She gave him a knowing look - what Lee and Kara had done had spread pretty much fleet-wide in the week since it's occurrence. Much as she knew he'd be happy to have a grandchild, she also knew Adama's pride was taking a beating over his son's behaviour.

She put a hand over his, lacing her fingers with them. "It'll all blow over soon. As long as Lee is happy, that's all that matters."

He grunted and she wasn't sure if it was assent or disapproval.

"He made a mistake Bill. Okay, a few mistakes, but that just shows that he's human."

"You were thinking he might be a cylon?" Adama said softly, a hint of humour in his voice.

Her laugh tinkled merrily. "Remember what Leoben said - 'Adama is a cylon'. There are more Adamas than just you."

"It would seem so." The hint of dryness in his voice caught her attention and she pegged it correctly - the time for humour was over.

"Do you suppose my dreams have any significance other than just an overworked mind making up stories?"

"You mean spiritual significance?"

"Yes."

Adama bit his tongue. He'd never believed in the gods, the scriptures or the destiny Roslin believed she had. It had caused some pretty nasty arguments in the past and he didn't want to relive them.

"Perhaps," he said carefully.

She looked sideways at him. "You're just humouring me."

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Perhaps. You know I don't believe in all of that religious stuff. But you do and maybe there is a deeper meaning to it. If so, I'm not exactly the most qualified person to help you figure it out."

"You think I should see the Oracle?"

"Dream interpretation is more her specialty than mine."

She smiled coquettishly. "That's too bad. I was hoping you could help me."

"I can help make sure you don't have any more dreams," he offered.

"How?"

"By making sure you don't sleep." He put a hand up to her cheek and stroked it lightly, invitingly.

"Oh, and how would you do that?" Her voice dropped, becoming low and husky.

"By finding something better to do."

She covered his hand with her own. "I think I like that idea."

"If it works, maybe we can make it part of your regular therapy."

She smiled widely. "Maybe."

**oooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara climbed back into bed quietly so as not to wake Lee, but he opened his eyes and arms, both beckoning her to come and snuggle with him.

"Sorry I woke you," she whispered.

"_You_ didn't," he laughed softly. "That little one sure inherited her mother's lungs didn't she?"

Kara smacked his chest gently.

"It's true - you can be awfully loud sometimes."

"So can you. Especially in bed."

He lifted her up so she was lying on top of him. "Only when a certain blonde has her way with me." His eyes twinkled as his hands began to caress her naked body.

"Shouldn't we be going back to sleep? It's only 0400."

"So? I'm wide awake now."

"Are you ... suggesting something?" she asked seductively, sitting up and straddling him.

"Not suggesting. Asking ... begging ... pleading."

"You know it's my first day back in the cockpit tomorrow. I should probably be getting my rest so I perform properly."

"I'll judge your performance. Right here, right now. You perform well and you get back in that bird of yours."

"And if I don't?" she teased, leaning down to lick her tongue over his lips.

"You'll have to practice some more." His lips captured hers and a hand roughly grabbed the back of her head, holding her tightly against him.

"I'll see if I can live up to your expectations," she said later, after finally pulling away.

"You usually do."

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

She stood at the bottom of the stairs, heart pounding. She'd been waiting for this day for months - nearly a year - and yet now the moment was here she was hesitant. To say flying was in her blood was an understatement. She lived and breathed flying and to have it taken away was like having someone remove a body part. Her psyche was incomplete without it.

But here she was, standing still, afraid to climb up the steps and enter the only place she'd ever truly called home. And it was because of Lee. Or rather her and Lee.

He'd warned her that what they'd done was going to have serious repercussions for them, and although she'd understood, she hadn't been prepared for the scope of them. 'Starbuck' had always been a favourite amongst the crew. Even people who didn't particularly like her respected her. And during her pregnancy when she hadn't been able to fly, people had treated her with respect - she'd been one of _them_, even if out of commission for a while.

Well not anymore. Many people , whether they be friends of Sam and Dee or not, seemed to think that what Kara and Lee had done had been despicable, and in consequence despised them for it. She'd been shocked by the reception she got whenever she was out in public.

It was like being shunned.

Arriving at the hangar bay hadn't been much better. The Chief had given her a sympathetic look but everyone else ostentatiously turned their backs to her, refusing to even acknowledge her greeting.

So though her heart desperately wanted to run up the steps and vault herself into the cockpit, her mind was afraid to. Too much was riding on this first flight - too many people now wanting to see her fail where once they would have cheered her on.

A light hand came to rest upon her shoulder. She turned quickly - it was Lee.

"Don't think about them. Remember, it's only what I think that counts."

She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat.

He moved forward a fraction of an inch, looking as though he wanted to kiss her, but then stopped, knowing it was wrong in public.

"Good luck Kara."

"Thanks."

Their eyes locked for a moment, giving her the courage she needed.

She began to ascend the stairs.

**TBC**


	9. Crossroads

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Nine - Crossroads**

_'Do you remember years ago? All our hopes would ebb and flow ...'_

"That's the stuff Starbuck," Lee said warmly. He'd traded rotations with one of the other pilots so he'd be off duty and available when Kara had her first flight. She hadn't said much but he knew the crew's reaction to their relationship and what they'd done to their spouses was having an effect on her. The lines of strain were evident on her face - likely mirroring his own - only soft and relaxed in sleep. That was one good thing about having an infant around, not that there weren't many others - she never had a problem sleeping despite her mind's unease. Waking several times a night to feed Clea kept her constantly tired.

"Thanks Apollo," she replied. "I know I've been out of the loop for a year but I'm sure I haven't forgotten everything."

Adama could hear the smirk on her face and it raised a smile on his rugged face. It was good to have Starbuck and Apollo back together again. He still wasn't entirely sure it was a good thing to have them together personally as well, but his heart had softened somewhat as a result of his newfound relationship with Laura and he was trying to give it a fair chance.

And it _was_ nice to have a grandchild.

"Well you seem to have remembered everything you need to know, how 'bout taking on a CAP shift tomorrow?"

Kara chuckled dryly. "I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be happy to hear you ask that."

Lee's laughter rang in her ears. "We're glad to have you back Starbuck. Galactica, Apollo. We're coming home."

The two flew in formation, side-by-side, wing tips nearly touching as though they were holding hands in space. Kara glanced over at Lee and her heart warmed at the sight of his happy smile. Yes, they truly did belong together - in the skies and out of it. She didn't think she'd ever been happier.

**oooooooooooooooo**

"Why didn't you ever mention that before?" Roslin demanded, voice hoarse with pent-up emotion.

Helo shrugged. "I guess I just never made the connection. I knew you were searching the Scriptures for answers to where Earth is but it never dawned on me that Kara's paintings might have anything to do with that."

Roslin stared at a spot on the wall, as if turned to stone. The words the Chief had brought to her attention ran through her mind again suddenly.

_'The son and daughter of Zeus will be the protectors of humanity on their journey, one fighting with the fire of purity, the other with the arrow of truth.'_

He'd theorized Lee and Kara were the ones referred to in the prophecy - a somewhat wild theory, but here was another connection to Kara. Perhaps it was more than coincidence that her name kept coming up. And then there was the fact that in ancient mythology the son of Zeus had been called Apollo - another connection to Lee. Just maybe there was something to the Chief's wild theory.

She knew she had to find out.

"Ma'am. Are you okay ma'am?"

She shook her head as if to clear it and looked up at Helo. "Sorry, lost my train of thought there." She smiled to put him at ease. "I'm going to need to talk to Captain Thrace. do you know if she's available?"

"Offhand? No. I know she's only working partial shifts - that's to say half as many as the other pilots, but she does spend a fair bit of time helping down in the maintenance bay. I know she wants to fly more but she wants to be close to her daughter as well."

Roslin nodded. "I'll check with Major Adama then, as I gather he makes the assignments for all the pilots."

Helo nodded affirmatively. "That he does. He can make sure she has some time to come see you."

Roslin took off her glasses, stood up and smiled warmly at him. "Thank you so much for taking the time to help me out with this."

"It's no trouble ma'am. We all want to find Earth as quickly as we can."

She nodded but said nothing as he left her office.

Apollo and Artemis - could they really be Lee and Kara? And if so, what did that mean?

**oooooooooooooooo**

"Hmm," he rumbled appreciatively.

The young one keeping him company gave him a quizzical glance.

"Things are moving in the right direction," he said. "The time is nearly come."

"You mean ..." the younger one began, eyes widening in excitement.

"Exactly. I've a feeling we got the combination just right this time - events all seem to be coming together at the same time. Very soon now the time will come and the catalyst that will push them over the edge and into the journey ahead will happen. I can feel it in my old bones." His eyes shone with happiness.

"You were afraid you weren't going to live long enough to see it come to pass?" the younger one asked carefully.

The wise one smiled as a father to a child. "I will live as long as it takes. I just didn't want to be too old to enjoy it. She is a joy and I've been waiting many, many lifetimes to get the chance to see her face to face."

"Everyone else seems to think she's a pain in the a ..." He stopped, realizing what he was about to say.

The wise one put a hand on his shoulder. "Yes, she certainly can be difficult at times but she is pivotal to the survival of my children. Without her they'd never make it." He grinned widely. "Even a few of _them_ have managed to figure out how to live with her and love her - can I, her creator do any less?"

The younger one hung his head in shame.

"No, don't be upset. You're young and still have yet to learn how to look past individual things and see the big picture. In time you'll get there."

He lifted his head to meet the other's eyes. "You think so?"

"I know so. You have the most important quality needed - you _care_."

The younger one's eyes shone with pride. It wasn't often the wise one praised so lavishly and it inspired him to watch and learn more and complain less.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"No thanks needed," the wise one said, just as gently. "I'm glad to have you with me."

**oooooooooooooooooo**

She did a double take as she walked into the room. It was her first class back - green nuggets, and there was a face there she was completely shocked at seeing. There had been no mention of him in the class list - she would have seen it - she always painstakingly pored over the paperwork before the first class, making sure she knew as much as possible about them before facing them as their instructor. But this one ... this one was totally unexpected.

Samuel T. Anders.

"Sam?" she choked out incredulously, stepping back a pace as though having been hit by an unseen force. "What are you doing here?"

Too late she registered the fact that he was wearing regulation tanks and dogtags.

"I'm here for class _sir_," he said, somewhat impudently.

She gasped a moment before retaining her composure. "Yes, yes of course you are, _Mister_ Anders."

The room was dead silent, all eyes now on Sam to see his reaction to her stiffly-spoken words.

She would have found their reaction quite humorous had the situation not been what it was. All heads were swiveling back and forth between her and Sam as they'd taken turns speaking, as if watching a tennis match.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment," she said, stepping backwards and out of the room.

She reached blindly for the phone on the wall, bumping into someone as she moved.

"Sorry," she began briskly but both her words and her arm stopped at the sight of Lee's face behind her.

"Hey," he began, his face lighting up.

"What the hell is this?" she hissed, dragging him over to the ready room and pushing him close enough to see. "How did Sam end up here?"

The colour drained from Lee's face. "I don't know."

She gave him a pitying look. He knew what it meant - he was the CAG, _everything_ to do with the pilots was his business.

"Honestly Kara I have no idea." He in turn grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the doorway so the rest of the room couldn't eavesdrop.

"Is this some sort of sick joke?" she demanded.

"Come on, you know I'd never do anything like that to you." His words forced her eyes to meet his. "I honestly don't know how he got here, but I _will_ find out if it's the last thing I do."

"I can't do this Lee," she said, shaking her head decisively. "You know I can't do this. I _cannot_ have Sam in my class. I want him out of that room." She crossed her arms over her chest angrily, loosening them somewhat as it's sensitivity gave her a zing of pain.

"What? You having a problem Starbuck?" Kat's unmistakable drawl alerted Kara to the fact that there were more people than just herself and Lee in the corridor.

Lee eyed her 'cat that ate the canary' smile warily. "Did you have something to do with this Katraine?"

"To do with what?" she shrugged. "New person asked me if he could join the class - said he wanted to become a pilot so I told him 'sure'. Told him he could be a big frakking hero like the rest of us." She grinned, almost hiding the dislike in her eyes.

"You know exactly who he is!" Kara flared out, eyes blazing. "How dare you!"

Lee put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "You had no right," he said coldly to Kat. "I'm CAG - all new recruits have to come through me. You can't just let in anyone." His brow furrowed. "And how the hell did you wrangle a uniform and dogtags without signed consent from myself or the Admiral?"

She shrugged. "I have my ways," she said evasively. "I didn't ask you because we all knew what you'd say. You're Starbuck's bitch - you'll do anything she wants."

Lee saw red and had to physically restrain himself from smacking her in the mouth. Kara could feel the hand on her shoulder trembling and knew exactly how he felt. She too was fighting the urge to wrap both of her hands around Kat's neck and strangle the life out of her.

"In future," Lee bit out through clenched teeth, "you will check with me before telling anyone anything? Is that understood?"

Kat nodded, throwing a dirty look at Kara.

"Is that understood?" he demanded.

Kat saluted, waiting for him to answer it before removing her hand. "Yes _sir_."

"Lee," Kara began after Kat was out of earshot.

"I'll take care of it."

"I can't teach him," she continued.

His eyes found hers. "I said I'll take care of it," he repeated firmly. "In the meanwhile you're going to have to go in there and give your first lesson with him there. I'll go talk to my father and make arrangements with him."

At Kara's concerned look his voice softened. "These are extenuating circumstances. I'm sure something can be worked out."

Her eyes pleaded with him.

His heart melted just a little. "I can't just pull him out now without some sort of plan. You know we've got enough people against us - if we pull a stunt like this we're going to have a mutiny on our hands. Let me work it out through the proper channels."

"But ..."

"It's only the first class Kara. They won't be going near a cockpit." He spoke to her fears, knowing only too well what was going through her mind. His hand stole up to caress her cheek. "You can do it. Just take a deep breath and you'll be fine." He leaned over and gave her cheek a quick peck.

She nodded silently, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders.

"There's my girl," Lee murmured to himself as he watched he walk back into the classroom. From the back her demeanor seemed as usual - no one could tell she was living in the past ... and terrified by it.

As he walked towards his father's office however, his smile faltered, then turned into a frown. He'd been confident in front of Kara, hoping to convince her all would be well. But he had a feeling it wasn't going to be as easy as he'd made out. His father had been adamant that their personal relationship not affect their working relationship, and it hadn't so far, but he had a feeling that rule was going to be enforced regarding Sam as well.

And that was something he knew Kara was going to have a real problem with. Especially now, with him stepping into her arena and forcing her to face the ghosts of her past.

That was something that filled Lee with fear - she didn't tend to face the past, she tended to turn and run from it.

**TBC**

A/N: It would be really nice if you, the reader, would leave a comment once in a while to let me know how you feel about this story. Good or bad, it's okay with me. Mind you if you're still with it 9 chapters in I'm assuming you're enjoying it - so please, drop me a line and let me know if you are or not. I'm kind of getting to the point with this site where I'm considering not posting anything here anymore. It takes a lot of hours - and I mean a LOT of hours to write a story - a kind word to say you're enjoying it now and then would be very polite. Thanks. 


	10. Spiralling

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Ten - Spiralling**

_'The mysteries, the twists of fate have changed the path from love to hate ...'_

The conversation hadn't gone well. In fact it had gone about like Lee had expected it would, leaving him torn between trying to please his father and doing what he could to save the woman he loved from an unpleasant and potentially dangerous situation. He'd tried to get across to his father just how having Sam in her class was going to affect her but Adama would have none of it.

_"You know this is going to remind her of Zak and what happened with him."_

_"I don't see why it should - there's no personal relationship between herself and Mr. Anders."_

_"Just because she left him doesn't mean there aren't any feelings there," Lee objected. "Of course she still cares about him. Probably always will."_

_"Well she'll have to put those feelings aside and do her job. We may not have had to face the cylons for a long time but they could be back anytime, and every time we lose pilots. We can always use new recruits and I'll be damned if I turn a good possibility away because Kara can't handle the pressure."_

_"How do you know he'd be any good out there?" Lee demanded, wondering if his father had seen something he'd missed._

_"He's got guts, courage ... and he's a survivor. He's already proven he's got a cool head and is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Whether or not he's got magic hands is irrelevant."_

_Anger emanated from Lee in waves. "Great. Start calling him Zak then dad. Your _son _was the same way - bold, courageous ... willing to do anything to become the viper pilot his father wanted him to be. But his lack of talent was what killed him, not his lack of courage."_

_"Don't you _dare_ compare Sam Anders to Zak! You have no right!"_

_"Then don't make Kara do it!" Lee exploded. "Having Sam in her class is going to trigger all those memories and she's going to implode. She did it before, remember? When she first started teaching flying here? And she didn't even know any of them then."_

_Adama's stern face relented a degree._

_"You know this will drive her over the edge." Lee rammed the statement home with a look his father couldn't miss._

_Adama appeared to ponder Lee's words. His question came unexpectedly. "How did Mr. Anders end up in the nugget class anyway? I don't recall seeing his name on the roster and given your sense of outrage I'd imagine you didn't put him there."_

_Lee ignored the sarcastic tone - it was time to come clean and lay blame where it belonged._

_"Kat told him he could join the class."_

_Adama's eyebrow raised. It seemed he'd been right in predicting she'd be another Starbuck ... just without the happy sense of fun Kara had always had. Kat was a little more bitter and caustic in her humour._

_He took a deep breath. "Send them both to me," he said._

_"You'll remove him from the class?" Lee asked hopefully._

_Adama looked him straight in the eye. "I didn't say that."_

_Lee's puzzled expression prompted him to continue._

_""We need all the pilots we can get, you know that as well as I do," he said quietly. "But he needs to come through the system properly. I'll interview him and decide if he's qualified and capable."_

_"You won't be fair!" Lee argued_

_"I should leave it up to you? _You'll _be fair and just? This is the soon-to-be ex-husband of the woman you're living with. That would be wrong under any circumstances, not just in wartime."_

_Lee blushed. "So what if you determine he's a fit candidate for training?"_

_"Kara will teach him."_

_Lee shook his head. "She can't."_

_"She'll have to." The words were heavy with threat._

_Lee sighed, knowing Kara was about to fragment into a million pieces and that he'd be the one who had to put her back together. He'd never been good at puzzles ... especially ones that came with the name Kara Thrace._

_"At least tell me you'll be punishing Kat for breaking the chain of command," he said wearily, as he headed for the door._

_"Trust me, she and whomever might have helped her will bear the full brunt of military law for what they've done. No one is spared that."_

"So it would seem," he'd murmured to almost silently as he put distance between himself and his father. Much as he loved the Old Man, space between them was what made their relationship work. Too much and they were somewhat distant with one another. Not enough and the explosion rocked the entire ship ... and the shock waves tended to last a long, long time.

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara sat, holding her daughter, wondering why the gods had chosen to screw with her life, yet again.

She'd been a bad person, done bad things and as her mother had promised, she'd been punished for them. She'd thought she'd made the right choice leaving Sam and divorcing him so she, Lee and Clea could be a family. It wasn't proving to be easy - few were sympathetic to the way they'd seemingly cavalierly tossed their spouses aside to be together, but despite the negative atmosphere they'd been persevering. Their privates lives were going well - she and Lee had never gotten along as well as they were now, and even the Old Man seemed to be warming to the idea.

So why had the gods thrown another wrench - named Samuel T. Anders - back into her life to screw things up? Why couldn't he have just gone back to one of the civilian ships and left her alone? Why come and harass her in the one place that was hers ... that he'd never been able to share with her? Was he doing it just to hurt her? Surely he didn't know about Zak ... she'd never told him and she was sure none of the few people who knew would have said anything without asking her first. So why? Why was he doing this? And what did he hope to acocomplish? To drive her crazy?

She was already at least halfway there ... he had to have known that after living with her ...

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

"You wanted to see me Admiral?" The words, like his stance, were stiff, unlike him.

Adama didn't miss his discomfort. "Yes Mr. Anders."

"You can call me Sam," he said, small lopsided grin forming as he relaxed a little.

"I think perhaps it's best if we keep things formal," Adama said.

"Because of Kara," he said matter-of-factly.

"Because of Kara."

Sam sussed Adama out. Didn't take him long - never had, he'd always been good at split-second people reading. Kara had been the only one he'd had difficulty with. Which was perhaps why she intrigued him so ...

"You're upset about my joining her class."

"I'm upset about a lot of things regarding the two of you."

"Funny, I would have thought you'd be happy to see her dump me in order to make your son happy." There was a definite trace of rancour coming through loud and clear.

"You'd be wrong," Adama said flatly.

Sam's disbelieving look was comical.

"Kara and Lee have been dancing around the issue of their relationship for a long time and I've never been happy with it."

"Really?"

"It is what it is and apparently I have no choice but to accept it," Adama said gently, "but I _do_ have difficulty with it. And with what they did to you and Lieutenant Dualla."

Sam nodded in appreciation at the Admiral's words.

Adama came around to the front of his desk and leaned back on it, taking off his glasses and tapping them on his thigh.

"Now we get to the point. Why are you wanting to train to become a pilot?"

"So I can be a big damn hero like Apollo and Starbuck?"

The Admiral's stony face killed Sam's humour right there. "Honestly?"

"My officers always need to be honest with me and if you're considering becoming an officer in the Colonial Fleet then I suggest you start with the honesty now."

Sam's forced jaunty demeanor disappeared. "I don't have anything to live for."

Adama eyed him carefully.

"It's not just Kara, although that's a big part of it. I just ..." He spread his arms wide and shrugged. " ... don't have anything. At least on Caprica I had the resistance. I had a reason to fight." His voice gained strength. "Here? I'm just languishing, doing nothing at all."

"I understood you were in marine training and doing very well too. Your skills as a leader in the Caprican and New Caprican resistance would be invaluable to us."

"But I wasn't_ doing_ anything. Training, training, and more training. For what? To stand guard duty at the brig?" He shook his head. "No, I needed to do something else. _To make a difference. _Not to just waste my life away."

"Is that how you felt when you and Kara were still together?" Adama asked quietly. "Would the fact that she was our top gun and one of the heroes of the fleet have come between you two?"

Sam raked his hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't know. I'd like to say no but maybe it would have ... eventually. But I had another role to play then - I was a husband and father." He swallowed involuntarily. "I loved my daughter. I wanted to spend every minute I could with her and Kara - it didn't matter what else I was doing."

"And then she took that away from you." There was sympathy in Adama's tone though his face was still impassive. Sam's eyes turned to meet his and Adama could see the depth of pain in them. The man had lost a child - albeit in a very different circumstance that he had, but he knew how Sam felt. And that he needed something else to fill that emptiness inside. It was ironic that he himself had used the one thing that had caused him all that pain in the first place to try to end it, and now Sam was trying to do something similar.

"I need to do something. To give my life purpose. To take the fight to them instead of just sitting around waiting." The pleading tone in Sam's voice nearly broke Adama's stony face. He held it with an effort.

"You may continue."

"Hmm?" Sam murmured, surprised at the words. He was sure the Admiral was going to be against him.

"You may continue the training," Adama repeated, louder this time.

"Thank you sir," Sam said gratefully, a small smile gracing his handsome face.

"Just one condition."

"Name it."

"You don't make trouble for Kara. You attend your classes, do your work and fly like she tells you to without a word to annoy her." The Admiral's voice brooked no argument.

"Yes sir."

"If you have any ulterior motives ..."

"You think I want to get back at her?"

Adama shrugged. "Human nature being what it is, I have to consider it."

"Honestly Admiral, I'm doing it because I want to make a difference and do something _useful_ with my life."

"There are many other jobs you could be useful at," Adama pointed out.

"I've heard what goes on out there. I've _seen_ it. And I want to be a part of it."

Adama looked him up and down, then held out a hand. "Welcome to the nugget class Mr. Anders. This may be where you want to be but you still have to prove you can hack it. And let me tell you, the instructor is one real hardass."

Sam's face broke into a wry smile as he shook Adama's hand. "I can hack it sir. I know I can."

"Then go out there and show me."

"Yes sir." Sam made as though to leave.

"Ahem ..."

He turned back, confused. Adama saluted. He turned red and saluted back.

"Time to get used to military protocol son."

"Yes sir," Sam said again, smiling through his embarrassment.

This time he managed to escape Adama's office without being called back. Evidently there was a lot he still needed to learn about being in the military. Could a wild card like him who wasn't used to following anyone's authority but his own manage to fit into this hierarchy?

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

The blackness was refreshing.

After learning she had no choice but to have Sam in her class she'd needed the release flying gave her, so she'd asked Lee to trade CAP's with her so she could clear her head. He knew her well enough to know that flying was the one thing that could calm her down and bring her back into focus. After that they could talk.

She closed her eyes and just let herself drift.

"Starbuck, Hotdog. You daydreaming over there?"

She smiled at his teasing. "Yup. Ain't it fun?"

"You go too much further and you'll hit atmosphere you know."

"Yeah I know. It's been a while since I flew near a planet but I'm pretty sure I remember how that works." Her tone was mainly teasing but there was a slight hint of a reprimand as well.

"Okay, just saying's all," he came back. "We're happy to have you back out here Starbuck. We don't want to lose you you know."

"It's okay Hotdog. I don't want to lose me either." She stared at the lighter skies ahead, seeing the swirling clouds of an approaching storm. She sighed happily. It had been so long since she'd been out there to see the sights - and lucky for her they'd just found a planet that had some usable resources so they'd kept the fleet orbiting there for several days while they took what they could.

"You see that Hotdog?"

"See what?"

"That storm. Isn't it a beauty?"

"What storm? You got something on dradis Starbuck?"

"Use your eyes Costanza. They'll never fool you. It's right there in front of you."

"I only see some white clouds," he said slowly. "Where's this storm you're talking about?"

"Right there!" she practically yelled in frustration, pointing out the front of her cockpit. "Gods it's beautiful. I just want to fly right into the middle of it ..."

As she spoke her bird gathered speed and she hurtled headlong into the vortex of swirling clouds.

"Starbuck! Starbuck stop! Pull back!"

She could hear a faint niggling sound in her ears but she dismissed it. It was no more important than the sound of a fly buzzing. _This_ ... this beautiful swirl of clouds was _much_ more important. She had to see it up close ... feel it ... get inside it and live it ...

She now completely ignored the sounds coming through her headset.

"Starbuck! Pull up! You're going to crash! Pull up!"

Nothing mattered but the vortex. It beckoned her like nothing else ever had, and she just couldn't resist it.

Her viper began to shake as it superheated in the atmosphere and pieces began to break off and fly away ...

**TBC**


	11. Maelstrom

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Eleven - Maelstrom**

_'Lord, shine a light for me, I'm waiting to be called ...'_

It was the most beautiful place she'd ever seen, green and lush, emerald grasses meeting sapphire skies with the brightest, warmest sun she'd seen in years. Since Caprica, actually. She basked in the heat, eyes shut against the blinding brightness.

Time passed ... she was hardly aware of it. the sun, still high in the heavens had traveled partway across the skies and a few puffy white clouds were artfully decorating the sky.

Lee. Clea. Her viper.

Suddenly all was forgotten as panic overtook her. Where was she? And where were they?

She remembered the beckoning call of the swirling vortex, as different from the scenery in front of her as it was possible to be. She also remembered the feeling of her viper shaking, a sure precursor to it's imminent explosion. Had it in fact exploded? Had she died? Was this heaven?

"Frak that," she murmured to herself. "The life _I've_ lived? There's no way I'm going to heaven. So where the hell am I?"

"Home."

The word came from nowhere ... and everywhere. The sound came from the skies above, the ground below ... the gentle breeze that ruffled her hair ...

Hair? She wasn't wearing a helmet. Or a flightsuit for that matter. She shook her head in confusion - she knew she'd been wearing them in her viper ... so why was she bare-headed and dressed in a pretty flowered turquoise sundress?

Home. She was home. So where was home? And better yet, who was it that had answered her thoughts?

"Where am I?" she thought out loud.

"Home."

"Who are you?" she looked around, spinning in a circle to see behind her. "_Where_ are you?"

"I am all around you."

She nodded, familiar 'starbuck' smirk on her face. "Okay, I know where I am. I've gone crazy. Abso-frakking-lutely mad. It's about damn time." She laughed but it was humourless.

"You're not crazy Kara Thrace. You're home."

"How the hell do you know who I am?" she demanded angrily, hostility as always, her cover for fear. "And where are you?"

"I told you, I'm everywhere. Would you be more comfortable with me being in a shape you understand?"

"Hell yes, if it means you're human."

"I'm not human."

Her eyes narrowed. She shook her head. "No ... no, I can't believe you're a cylon."

"I'm not a cylon."

"But you're not human."

"Correct."

"Then what _are_ you?"

"I am one of the Gods. Your Creator in fact." His tone gained warmth as he spoke, almost sounding loving to her frightened ears.

"Right." She drew the word out slowly, disbelief oozing as she spoke. "Show yourself." She looked around warily, hand involuntarily reaching down to pull out her nonexistent sidearm.

A shimmering shape began to take on form in front of her, finally solidifying into a man. An old man with a worn, tired face, though his blue eyes sparkled merrily. His long white hair blew gently in the breeze, just as hers did.

_Okay, he doesn't look that scary ... for a god_, she told herself. _Now what?_ "So you're one of the gods," she said, not really asking the question but not really making it a firm statement either. "Which one are you?"

"The most important one. The true God."

His voice, though emanating from the mouth of the person standing before her, still seemed to be everywhere. She felt it's vibration as he spoke and strangely it reassured her.

"What about the others? Aren't you all equal?"

"No. That was just waht we wanted you to believe. I created them as well, as my helpers. It's tough work being the creator and maintainer of all the universe."

She almost chuckled at his humour. "I can only imagine," she said dryly. "I can barely keep my own life straight most of the time."

"Your life is more complicated than most," he said sympathetically. "You've had many hard choices to make. I'm sorry it had to be that way."

_"You_ did that?" she asked incredulously. "But I prayed that things would be easier many times."

"I heard your prayers child but it wasn't meant to be that way. As your mother always told you, you were special. You had a special destiny to fulfil and it's not easy living that life. It comes at a price - a very high one."

"So why did I have to be the one to pay it?" she grumbled, forgetting she was talking to the creator who probably knew her thoughts before she even spoke them aloud.

"Because you can," he said gently. "You're strong enough to do what's necessary."

She was silent for a moment, trying to take it all in.

"How did I get here?" Her gaze fixed on the man before her. "Did you bring me here?"

"Yes."

"Can I go home now?" The words slipped out before she could stop them. She knew she sounded like an ungrateful child but she couldn't help herself. And it was too late to take them back.

"You _are_ home."

She shook her head. "No. Galactica is home. Lee is home. My daughter is home. I want to go back."

"That isn't possible. Your home will be here from now on."

"What do you mean?" Her voice rose in anger. "I want to go back to my family!"

"I'm sorry Kara. You can't go back."

"I don't want to be here! I didn't ask to come here in the first place. TAKE ME BACK!"

The wise one endured her shouting patiently before answering. "I cannot. The vortex was a one-way path. There is no going back."

"So you took me away from my home, my family ... everything I know and love, knowing I was never going to see them again?"

"You'll see them again, just not yet. Your coming here was the first part of the journey they all must take. Theirs will take longer."

She felt her anger slip away, to be replaced by icy cold despair. Lee and Clea were far behind ... not to be seen again for who knew how long, if ever.

_Wait, if he was one of the gods - The God - he should know, right?_

"When will I see them? when will they get here?"

"I do not know."

"You don't know?" Her temper flared once again. "How can you not know? If you're one of the gods you preordained it to be this way!"

He shook his head gently. "That's not how it works. You were given free choice, a chance to choose your own destiny. We do not choose it for you."

_"I_ didn't get to choose to come here," she said, eyes bursting with hot, angry tears.

"No, that's true. But you chose the events that brought you here."

"I did?"

"You chose Apollo."

_"That_ was what I needed to do?"

"It was one of the things. And it helped provide what is necessary for the others to find their way here."

"Where exactly is 'here'?"

"Earth."

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

"Major Adama, report to CIC immediately."

The words crackled through the loudspeakers without the usual repeat. The voice sounded somewhat strained as well, not controlled like usual. Lee's heart sank down to his toes.

_Kara!_

He picked up Clea and tucked her tightly under his arm, noticing in his rush that she was growing almost too big to hold that way anymore. He began to race down the corridor, not quite running, not quite walking, trying to get to CIC as quickly as he could.

One corridor away he bumped into Sam, whose face sported the same kind of worry his likely did. He motioned back towards the command centre.

"They paged you. Is it ..."

"Kara."

They both said her name at the same moment.

"I don't know," Lee said breathlessly. "I suspect so."

Sam held out his arms. "I'll take her."

Lee only hesitated a split second before handing his daughter over.

"Take care of her."

The words were spoken in unison again, the meaning behind them not having to be explained. A level of trust was gained between the two men at that moment. Their eyes met and in each was compassion.

Lee burst into CIC, hushed to absolute silence for the first time ever.

"What's wrong?"

Adama turned to face his son. "It's Kara."

The blood drained from Lee's face as he involuntarily looked up at the dradis screen. Only one viper showed.

"Where is she? What's wrong?"

"We don't know Lee."

"Galactica, Hotdog. There's no sign of her!" His voice was frantic.

"What happened?" Lee's voice shook with the tears he was desperately trying to hold back.

"She flew directly at the planet."

Lee's face crumpled. "But she knows better than that."

"According to the chatter she was seeing some sort of storm. Swirling clouds ... I don't know. We didn't see it on dradis and Hotdog didn't see it either. Kara just flew straight into it, ignoring all pleas for her to pull back. She just vanished." Adama threw his glasses down and wiped his eyes, struggling to keep his voice under control. "Godsfrakking dammmit, where are you Kara!" he burst out, voice shaking.

Lee echoed the sentiment wholeheartedly - including the blasphemy. He didn't believe in the gods himself but Kara surely did. She prayed with her idols every night, and though she'd always done it privately, Lee had accidentally overheard her once or twice, thanking the gods for the second chance they'd been given, and for the beautiful bundle of joy their love had created. Surely they wouldn't be so cruel as to take away her happiness yet again, after all she'd suffered.

"I'm going to find her."

"You are doing no such thing."

Lee stood up to his father, staring him down coldly. "Kara is out there somewhere ..." He waved his arm to illustrate his point. " ... and I'm going to find out what happened to her."

"Someone is already out there. I'm not letting you risk your life ..."

"To save the woman I love?" Lee finished, cold anger making his body shake.

"That's precisely the problem - you love her. You can't be trusted to be rational."

"Rational? Kara's out there somewhere ... missing, probably hurt and you want me to just sit here on my ass and do _nothing_? That's rational?"

Adama stood to his full height, barely an inch taller than Lee. "I want you to do your duty as a soldier and obey orders," he enunciated with clipped words, though his voice had dropped several notches for privacy.

"I'm sorry _sir_, but I can't do that. I'm going out there and I'm _going to find her_!" He turned and strode away quickly, not looking back.

"What about your daughter? Don't you think Kara would want you to focus on taking care of her?"

Lee stopped dead and took a breath. "She's in good hands."

**ooooooooooooooooo**

"Hotdog, Apollo. Show me where she disappeared." He worked to keep his voice steady.

"Are you kidding me Apollo? Go right to the place she disappeared?"

"I'm not kidding," Lee said grimly.

"There's nothing there!"

"If there's nothing there then why are you arguing with me?"

"Well frak, she said she saw a storm and then she just vanished."

"But you didn't see anything."

"Look for yourself Apollo," Hotdog said, pointing at the fluffy white clouds ahead of them.

"Just take me there." Lee's jaw set firmly. There was no way he was going back without finding her. No damn way.

"Listen Apollo, I .." He half coughed, half laughed.

"You're afraid," Lee guessed.

"Call me superstitious, but I don't feel comfortable going into the place where someone just vanished without a trace."

"Send me the coordinates then. I'll go in alone."

"Apollo ..."

"Don't argue with me Hotdog. You've got a CAP to maintain. Get back to it."

"Yes sir," Hotdog said, responding automatically to the authority in Lee's voice.

"Apollo, this is Galactica Actual."

"Don't even try to stop me dad."

There was a pause.

"Good luck son. I hope you find her."

Lee's heart warmed at the sound of his father's voice. As much as he tried to be the 'good office' he couldn't when it came to his children ... especially Kara.

And Lee loved him for it.

"Thanks," he whispered, not knowing if his father could hear him.

As he ventured into the clouds, something moving caught his attention. It was falling towards the planet fast so Lee adjusted his speed and trajectory to match it. It was a piece of metal, more precisely a piece of the outer hull of a viper. And there were words on it -

_Lt. Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace_

The hold he'd had on his emotions in the ten minutes since he'd found out about Kara's disappearance broke suddenly and he began to sob.

"Kara, gods Kara, you can't be gone. _You can't be_!"

He kicked his thrusters into gear and swung his nose up to avoid hitting atmosphere.

"Come on Kara, where are you? I can't believe you're gone. I _won't_ believe it. Where are you?"

As he pushed himself faster he noticed it was getting darker and darker ... and not from heading into space. There was a storm dead ahead - black, spiraling clouds directly in front of him.

He took a deep breath, swallowed, then flew straight into the storm.

If this was where Kara had gone, gods be damned if he wasn't going to go too.

**TBC**


	12. Destiny

'**The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Twelve - Destiny**

_'Every time you think of home, remember that you're not alone ... and we'll be with you heart and soul wherever you are.'_

"Earth," she said flatly. "You are frakking kidding me."

"I can assure you I do have a sense of humour child, but I am deadly serious about this."

"Earth," she repeated, still not sure if she believed. "Earth."

"Yes, Earth. The future home of your people."

She seized on the word. "_My_ people. They're not_ my_ people, they're _your_ people aren't they?"

"Yes they are. I just meant what's left of the twelve colonies. The thirteenth colony is already here."

Kara blinked, eyes widening. "Where?"

"Where?" His eyes twinkled. "It's a rather large planet my dear. I made sure you arrived in a suitably deserted spot so we could talk before you met anyone else."

"How many people are there here?"

"Over six million."

"Six million?" she said softly, wonderment as visible on her face as it was in her hushed voice. "We're only a few thousand. Thirty-some thousand now I think. I'm not sure. I haven't checked the board on Colonial One in ages."

His face was full of sorrow. "I'm sorry there are so few of you left."

"Yeah, me too," she whispered. "The cylons did their level best to exterminate us and nearly succeeded."

He shook his head. "They were an experiment that went horribly wrong."

"_You_ created them?" Two spots of red appeared on her cheeks.

"No, we don't create anymore. We allow you to create. Sometimes the choices you make destroy you."

"Destroy us? We're not all dead." Her face scrunched quizzically.

"You have been destroyed by the choices you've made before."

"We have? What do you mean? I don't understand."

" 'This has all happened before and it will all happen again.' "

Goosebumps rose on her flesh as Leoben's words were spoken by the god.

"So we've been here before?" she asked slowly, understanding beginning to prickle at the edges of her mind like the first rays of a sunrise. "This is a reincarnation. We've all lived and died before."

"You are correct, in a way," he acknowledged, nodding gently. "It is not reincarnation exactly. The cycle is repeated as many times as it takes for humanity to get it right."

"Get what right? What is it we're supposed to be doing?"

"Bringing yourselves here. Joining your brothers and sisters on Earth. In every incarnation the thirteenth tribe is banished and the goal of the others is to survive and find them. To live together in paradise with your gods watching over you."

"And we've done it this time?"

"It would seem so," he answered guardedly. "The first steps have been taken and some of the choices that have never been made before have been made this time. The fact that you are here is proof that it's possible. Now it just remains for the others to do their part to find the way here."

Kara looked away, a lump growing in her throat at the thought of the others. For a few moments she'd been distracted enough to forget but now a vision of Lee and Clea came into her mind and she couldn't shake the feeling she'd never see them again.

She covered her mouth as a sob escaped her, trying to prevent the full-blown cry she knew was bubbling up from deep down within her.

"How are they going to do that?" she choked out.

"You are going to show them the way."

The words had immense power. She felt as though a weight had been placed on her shoulders and she was almost unable to breathe.

A thought hit her suddenly.

"Am I ... the dying leader?" she whispered, eyes wide with shock. Please no ... I can't be." The tears spilled down her cheeks. "I can't die now - please don't let me go before I get to see my daughter again." Her breath hitched as she sobbed.

The wise one's face was the picture of sorrow as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"No child, you're not the dying leader," he said softly.

She looked up at him, the question in her eyes unspoken.

"Clea is."

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"I can't see a frakking thing out here," Lee grumbled to himself, realizing there was marginally no difference if he closed his eyes to when they were open. The helmet light only illuminated as far as the instrument panel; everything beyond that was black.

"Where the frak are you Kara?" he asked, rhetorically, since he didn't really expect an answer.

The wind currents were tossing him this way and that - an unexpected sensation since in the vacuum of space there was rarely anything to interfere with his ship's movement. He fought it at first, disliking the feeling of not being in control, but soon realized he was taking the wrong approach. _What would Kara do?_ he asked himself._ She'd go with the flow - let go and just go where it took her. _And with great effort he followed suit.

He closed his eyes, rested his hand gently on the joystick and took a deep breath, heart pounding, as the currents took hold of his ship and pulled it further into the swirling vortex of clouds.

About a minute later he felt his ship stop tossing and turning and settle into a normal flight pattern. It began to get light behind his eyelids so he opened them tentatively, not quite sure what he expected to find.

He was flying straight and true through the most beautiful blue sky he'd ever seen, puffy white clouds floating by every so often. He took another deep breath, feeling a peace and calmness inside that he was sure he'd never felt before.

Suddenly there was a voice in his ear.

"Hey Lee."

It was Kara.

He looked to the left to find her flying in formation beside him.

"Kara?" he breathed, feeling his throat close and his chest constrict.

"It _is_ me Lee, but I'm not really here."

He shook his head in confusion. "What do you mean? Is it really _you_? Are you alive?"

"I'm alive but I'm not here with you. I've gone away. Far away. I'm only here to give you a message."

His heart began to pound painfully hard. "What do you mean you've gone away? Where are you? Can't you come home?"

She shook her head, a small, sad smile on her face. "No, I can't come back. But we'll see each other again. You need to find the way to Earth, then we'll be together."

"Kara, I ..." he began, voice cracking with emotion.

"You can do this Lee. You _have_ to. You have to be strong and take care of our daughter."

He shook his head, tears starting to fall. His helmet began to fog up.

"I can't live without you."

"You won't be," she replied, voice gentle and sweet. "We'll only be apart a short time."

He shook his head. "Please come back with me," he begged.

"I can't," she whispered. "Take care of yourself Lee, and take care of Clea."

Her ship turned and suddenly took off, leaving him practically standing still.

"Take care of Clea," he heard one more time as her ship disappeared from view.

"Kara wait!" he yelled, kicking in the thrusters and nearly tearing his ship in two in his haste to follow her. Suddenly the bright blue sky turned dark and the swirling clouds took over his vision again. He slowed, looking around frantically, vainly, to see if he could find her, but he could see nothing past his instrument panel.

"Kara," he called repeatedly, hoping against hope she'd answer.

Silence.

His headset crackled to life a couple of minutes later as the clouds began to dissipate, and he saw the familiar sight of the planet below.

"Apollo! Lee! Are you out there?" It was his father, voice frantic.

"Galactica, Apollo. I'm still here."

"Thank all the Lords of Kobol and the Gods too!"

The epithet was heartfelt and Lee felt, for one of the only times in his life, how much his father truly loved him.

"Come on home Apollo," Adama said, voice still shaky.

"Will do sir," Lee answered, also trying hard to control the quaver in his voice.

Nothing more was said in the three minutes it took for him to rejoin the fleet and land his bird, but the question was hanging heavy between them. Lee struggled to figure out what he was going to say. Hell, he wasn't even sure_ what_ he'd seen and if it was real, but the feeling of peace and inner calm had stuck with him and he was leaning towards believing it.

The alternative was much worse.

His father was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs as he descended. Pulling off his helmet, he endeavoured to wipe away the tears furtively but the glance his father leveled at him served to let him know it was a futile gesture.

They said nothing to one another till reaching the pilot's ready room. Adama shut and locked the hatch.

"Did you find her?" he asked hoarsely.

Lee's heart swelled at the pain visible in the Old Man's eyes - he really did love Kara, despite his harsh words to her on occasion.

"Yes and no," he answered tentatively, heart beginning to race again as he thought of his encounter with Kara.

"What the hell does that mean?" Adama demanded.

"I'm not sure I can explain it dad."

"Well you sure as hell had better try." He folded his arms across his chest.

Lee took a deep breath. "Maybe you'd best get the President here."

"Laura?" Too late he realized he was giving away the closeness of his relationship with her.

"Yes, President Roslin," Lee confirmed, a knowing look in his eye. "She needs to hear this as well."

Adama eyed him for a moment, then reached for the phone. "Very well."

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

"I saw Kara."

Two pairs of eyes perceptibly widened.

"Where?" his father asked.

"In the storm. I flew directly into the storm like she did and I saw her there." He paused and took a deep breath. "She was flying, in a viper ... not hers though." His eyes scrunched up with effort as he strove to remember the details.

"How do you know it wasn't hers?" Roslin asked.

"I'd seen pieces of her ship already - her nameplate - floating debris. I followed the pieces into the maelstrom."

"How could she be in a ship then if hers was destroyed?" Always practical Roslin.

"I don't know," Lee admitted. "But I _saw_ her. She was flying a viper, _right there beside me_!" He indicated with his left hand how close she'd been. "She said she wasn't dead but she wasn't really here either."

"We didn't hear anything. Even _you_ seemed out of communications range," Adama put in.

"Like I said, I've no idea what happened or how, I just know she was there and I talked to her."

"What else did she say?" Roslin asked, curious as always.

"She said we needed to find the way to Earth and then we'd see each other again."

There was silence as Adama and Roslin digested Lee's words.

She glanced at Adama, wondering if it was safe to ask a lover if his son was stark-raving mad, but decided against it.

"Do you believe her?" Adama asked, interrupting her thoughts.

Lee nodded firmly. "Yes I do."

"She didn't happen to spell it out clearly did she? Tell us exactly _how_ to find Earth?" Roslin's words, full of sarcasm, showed she wasn't convinced Lee's story was true.

Lee turned on her. "No she didn't. But she was _real_. I _saw_ her. I'd stake my life on it."

She smiled humourlessly. "I'm glad you're so sure. Someday you may have to."

"It's a difficult situation to be in," Adama said gently, hoping to diffuse the growing tension between the two. "You know I'm not one to believe in mysticism or things that can't be explained logically, but I'm willing to consider your story."

Lee smiled gratefully at him.

"Are you sure there isn't anything she said that could help us find Earth? Anything at all? A clue of some sort perhaps?"

Lee shook his head sadly. "I can't think of anything."

Roslin sighed. "Then we're back at square one."

**TBC**


	13. Changes

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Thirteen - Changes**

_'The history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself ... '_

No one who knew Kara Thrace would have wanted to see her now. She wasn't known for having the nicest disposition in the universe at the best of times - somewhat tempered of late by her relationship with Lee and with becoming a mother, but no one ... _no one_ on Galactica had ever seen her as angry as she was in this moment.

"You are_ not_ taking my daughter," she stated in a deadly quiet voice, body shaking with rage. "There is no frakking way you are taking her life. _No frakking way!_"

"Her destiny is written in the stars child, I cannot change it."

"That is bullshit and we both know it." Her hands involuntarily balled into fists. "You're God, you can do anything."

"Alas that is a fallacy."

Her eyes narrowed. "You created us, you created the Earth, you brought me here ... you can do anything if you _choose_ to."

"I cannot change events once they've been set in motion."

"That's a lie."

Kara spun around, eyes widening as fear caused her heart to skip a beat. "Who said that?" she demanded, sounding more confident than she felt.

The god held up a hand warningly. "Don't do this."

"Why not? Why shouldn't I tell her the truth?"

The hairs at the back of Kara's neck began to prickle. The voice was familiar ... eerily familiar.

It was her own.

A figure walked out from the treeline a short distance off. It was an exact copy of her.

Well not exact. It was definitely Kara Thrace, there was no mistaking that, but she wore her hair longer - like Kara had on New Caprica, and though she appeared much the same agewise, there was a look of wisdom that bespoke far greater years than her appearance seemed to project.

Kara took a step back involuntarily, feeling her heart stop beating entirely.

"Holy frak," she said softly. "Frak no, I'm not a cylon, I can't be."

A hand on her shoulder stopped her from continuing backwards. "You're not a cylon child. You are human."

Kara shook her head, mouth open but unable to form words.

"It's true Kara. You're not a cylon ... _we're_ not a cylon," the other said as she approached.

Kara's muscles tensed in a fight-or-flight adrenaline/fear rush. "How do you explain _this _then," she spat out, motioning between herself and the double in front of her.

"She is one of the gods child, and you were fashioned after her."

"Gods?" Kara cried in disbelief. "I was made in the image of a _god_?" She began to laugh, a cruel, cutting sound. "If that isn't the biggest cosmic joke _ever_ ..."

The figure behind her squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. "It's true you haven't led a very ... saintly life, but you were the unfortunate one who had to suffer for our plans to be brought to fruition and it's caused you an unfortunate amount of pain."

"That sounds familiar," Kara grumbled. "It seems I'm always the one who has to suffer to make other's lives better."

"It is a higher calling than any other, which is why you are the First."

The Kara facing Kara drew herself up proudly at his words. "Chin up Kara Thrace. Your destiny is nearly fulfilled," she said. "It will only get easier." She smiled and for the first time Kara felt the magnetism of her own smile pull at her.

But there was one thing the gods - if indeed they were gods, had implied that she was going to change, no matter if it meant the end of the universe.

"You are not going to let my daughter die, do you hear me? _I won't let you_!"

"It is part of the choice you made this time. The union of Apollo and Artemis was to create the map whereby the people would find their way to Earth. Once that is accomplished there is no more need of the map."

"_I _need her! She's my baby - a part of me! You can't just let her die!"

Her anger melted away as quickly as it had flared, as intense, passionate sorrow took it's place. She fell to her knees, crying bitterly.

"My little girl, my baby, you can't kill my baby," she choked out, body wracked with sobs. "You have to save her Lee. Protect her, don't let anything happen to her."

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee woke to the sound of Clea's crying, bleary-eyed and feeling like he hadn't slept. He glanced at the semi-luminous dial of his watch - just past 0200. No wonder - he'd only been in bed an hour. He got up and stumbled around trying to find the diaper changing things when he felt a soft hand on his arm.

"Let me," she whispered. "You haven't even slept yet and you've only got four hours till you need to be up again."

A part of him wanted to refuse, to be the man and take care of his daughter. But the part of him that had worked over seventy hours of the past ninety-six gratefully handed over the diaper and cloth and fell back into his bunk with barely a whispered "thanks."

For roughly thirty seconds he thought on the strange arrangement he was now living in ... then he fell back into a sound sleep, not even hearing Clea's wails turn into sweet smacking noises as the woman held her at her breast.

Lee had been adamant that he would take care of Clea - he owed her and Kara that much, especially after the vision of her had implored him so earnestly to do so. Sam, rather surprisingly, had offered to help out during Lee's overly long shifts. He'd been burdened with much work since Kara's disappearance, and with him, Hotdog, Kat and Racetrack being the most senior pilots, he'd had to take on even more to fill the gaps Kara had left.

Lee had gratefully accepted Sam's help. The problem was that there was no way to feed Clea. Cottle had worked to find some sort of breastmilk substitute, but given that they were lacking over half the ingredients needed, and the only thing they had in abundant supply was algae - something indigestible to baby stomachs - the only option had been to find a wet nurse.

Kristy had volunteered to help when the word had spread. She'd been widowed and had a six month old son she was caring for alone. Since Lee couldn't leave Galactica and there was no way in hell or beyond that he was willing to let Clea leave him, she'd moved aboard with Lucas, and was now sharing his quarters.

Lee had been squeamish about the idea at first but it became obvious she needed to be available during the nights, so shehad to be very close. She couldn't just leave her sleeping son in their quarters alone while she fed Clea, so the easiest was just to share. Lee had managed to find a spare mattress which he pushed into the corner, allowing Kristy and Lucas to share the bed. It was a strange arrangement and one Lee was having trouble getting used to, but barring the discovery of Earth soon, one he was going to have to live with for the better part of a year.

Four short hours later the alarm went off beside his head, set quietly so the babies wouldn't wake. He rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Good morning."

For a moment he was fooled. The voice was Kara's and it was her sitting on the bed nursing their daughter, but a couple of blinks later he realized it was just his imagination playing tricks on him.

"Good morning," he replied sleepily. "I'll take her if you're done."

"Are you sure you have time?"

He leveled a direct look at her. "I want to spend as much time with her as I can. I'll shower after my shift."

Kristy smiled as she handed the cooing baby over. "She's such a sweetheart. Always so happy."

"Must take after her mother then," he said sadly.

Kristy smiled sympathetically at him. It was obvious how much he was missing Kara.

"Is Mr. Anders taking care of her during your shift?"

"The first one. After that I think he's got a class. Can you ..." he began, a pleading look crossing his face.

"Of course. Have him bring her here for her feeding and then I'll watch her till you get back."

"Thank you so much Kristy. I don't know what I'd do without you." He snuggled his face in Clea's neck and she gurgled. "If there's ever anything I can do to repay you ..."

"You've done more than enough already. Apollo and Starbuck - how many times have the two of you saved us all? You put your life on the line day after day to save the rest of us._ You're_ the one who deserves to be repaid."

Lee shook his head, cheeks warming in embarrassment. "I just do my job. We all contribute where we can."

"And that's what I'm doing Major. I can't do any of the dangerous things you do, but I _can_ take care of children, so let me do what I can to help while you protect us and find a way to Earth."

He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. "Thank you," he said softly, treating her to a Lee Adama special smile. "I'll see you later."

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

She wasn't sure how long she cried but obviously at some point she'd exhausted herself enough to fall into a deep sleep. When she woke, the sun was in a completely different place in the heavens and there was a brisk chill in the air. There was a woolen blanket covering her and a glass of water set nearby.

She sat up, wondering if she was looking in a mirror as she faced her reflection again.

"Sleep well?" the other Kara asked kindly.

Kara shook her head. "I don't really remember."

"That's good then." She picked up the water and offered it to her. "Thirsty?"

Her natural wariness reared it's head and told her not to trust these people ... gods ... whatever they were, since they were the ones who ostensibly plucked her out of her happy life, brought her here and then told her her child had to die to save humanity.

But she _was_ thirsty, there was no denying that, and she needed sustenance if she were to be able to find a way back to Galactica to be with the ones she loved. And find a way back she would; she was determined about that, if nothing else. And perhaps this god would be less cryptic and give her some answers that could help.

"What do I call you?" she asked bluntly. "I can't call you 'Kara' or 'me' because you aren't, but I don't know how one addresses a god. Your royal holiness?" she suggested.

The other Kara laughed - a warm, all-embracing, happy sound. "Just call me First. That's what the others call me."

"Others?"

"Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth. And of course the wisest of us all."

"Who are the Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth?"

"The other gods that serve The Most Holy One."

Something clicked in her mind and a strange fluttery sensation took hold of her. "If I'm made in your image, does that mean there are other humans who were made in _their _image?"

"Very perceptive. Yes. There are human counterparts for each of us. They're slightly different each cycle but the likenesses are obvious."

The fluttery sensation grew stronger. "Do I ... know any of them?" she whispered, voice dropping as though she were afraid to even ask the question.

The other woman nodded, smiling. "You know them all. Your fates are all tightly woven together. Without each other you could not decipher the clues that will lead your people here."

_"My_ people. Why do you gods keep calling them _my_ people? I'm not their leader," Kara objected.

"No, perhaps not, but you are one of the elite, charged with the responsibility of making sure the human race survives."

"Just a _little_ responsibility," Kara murmured sarcastically. "So who exactly are these 'others' who share that responsibility?"

The First didn't answer immediately, seemingly pondering something carefully from the expression on her face.

"I'm not sure I should tell you."

"Why not?" Kara demanded.

"The Wise One might not approve."

"You're me aren't you? Since when have we ever needed anyone's approval to do anything? And isn't he going to tell me sometime anyway? Why not now?"

"She really is difficult isn't she?" a voice said, coming from the direction of the trees. "I'd heard stories of 'stubborn Starbuck' but I didn't realize just how demanding she could be."

The hair at the back of Kara's neck began to prickle again and electricity shot up and down her spine and throughout her body.

"Oh no," she said, standing and stepping back away from the trees in alarm as she recognized the sensations traveling through her. "No, no, not him. I don't think I ... "

A figure stepped out from between two trees. A very familiar figure. One whose image she'd been conjuring in her mind since she'd vanished.

Lee Adama.

**TBC**


	14. Answers

**'The Stars In Your Hand ... ' **

**Chapter Fourteen - Answers**

_'One world, one dream, the stars in your hand ...'_

"Did you have to bring her here?" Roslin asked acidly.

Lee leveled a look at her in which venom was the main ingredient. "_She_ is my daughter. Do you have a problem with her being here or would you just rather she not be alive at all?"

Helo held up a hand, silently pleading for a time out. "Hey, go easy on each other will you?" he implored, looking between the two angry faces. "I know we're all getting frustrated here but we have to have patience with each other."

He sighed inwardly. Standing between people arguing seemed to be becoming a daily occurrence for him. Tigh had taken on some of his old XO duties after his recovery from New Caprica but he'd never been quite the same so Adama had kept Helo on as his assistant - the one who dealt with the interpersonal problems. Tigh just wasn't up to that anymore - what little store of patience he'd had before his captivity was now gone and he tended to just make the situation between arguing crew members worse.

"Patience? It's been two months since she disappeared." Lee didn't have to say who; even if they hadn't known his tormented expression was enough to fill in the details. "Two months! And all we've been doing is frakking around in a holding pattern going nowhere! I would have thought by _now_ someone would have figured out the way to Earth." Lee's frustration, sorrow and general state of helplessness was making it hard for him to hold his temper. That calm, measured stoic ability to keep himself under control was a thing of the past since Kara's disappearance. He lost it regularly with the pilots, as Kara herself had frequently in the past, and found himself crying a lot more than he ever had in his life. Kristy could attest to that, having heard him cry himself to sleep on many occasions, and having heard Kara's name whispered in dreams more times than she could count.

"Well maybe we could have if your precious Captain Thrace had actually given us something to work with instead of leaving us with a bigger mystery than we already had on our hands."

He'd seen the sarcastic smile before but never used directly on him. It cut roughly through his heart, like the blade of a samurai warrior taking his own life. She'd been a good friend once, and an ally. Now it seemed she disliked and distrusted him. _ Her_ ... of all people. The one he would have expected to understand that not everything can be explained rationally. But all she did was ride him hard now, as though punishing _him_ for not having the answers she sought.

"You leave her alone!" he shouted, face suffusing with colour.

The hatch slammed open at that moment, silencing the next words he was about to speak.

"What the hell is going on?" Adama demanded, instantly taking in Lee's red, angry face, Roslin's bitingly sarcastic look and Helo's expression of dismay and knowing something was very wrong.

Clea started screaming.

Lee walked away, taking her into the corner of the room where he muttered sweet nothings to her in an attempt to calm her down. He knew his temper was on a razor's edge these days but this was the first time his loss of control had affected his daughter and he felt horribly guilty for it.

He was barely aware of Helo's calm, quiet voice explaining the situation to his father. The three of them talked amongst themselves quietly till Clea's wails began to subside.

"Lee, can you join us?" Adama called out to him, the only show of sympathy for his predicament being the use of his fist name instead of rank. Lee however, could read his father well enough by now to know how the Old Man felt. It warmed his soul.

"Yes sir," he replied quietly as he walked back to join the others at the table.

The talk of cylons began the meeting and Lee soon began to tune out, focusing his attention on the baby in his arms. He shouldn't have had her along, Roslin was correct on that point, but Kristy had taken ill at the last moment, Sam had been on a training run with Racetrack and several other nuggets, and he just hadn't had the time to seek out anyone else he knew would be willing to babysit. So he'd brought her along.

She was a very good child - quiet for the most part except when she was hungry or tired. Obviously having a parent yell from up close didn't exactly help that sunny disposition though. As he watched her he realized she was very warm - beads of sweat were forming by her nose. _Probably from the crying_, he reasoned, having noticed that happen on other occasions.

"Do you mind?" he interrupted briefly as he began to undress her.

"Go ahead Apollo. Hera always gets boiling hot when she screams too." Helo smiled proudly, for once in an arena where he knew more than Lee and could give _him _advice for a change.

Lee laid her on the table as the conversation resumed, pulling at the snaps of the sleeper like a seasoned pro. He flipped her onto her stomach gently to get to the snaps at the back of her neck, then pulled the garment slowly off.

The conversation stopped dead a moment later and Lee looked up in embarrassment, hoping it wasn't because his father had realized he wasn't paying attention. But Helo was the reason for their silence. His eyes were wide as saucers and he was gesticulating at Clea, mouth working but no sound coming out.

"What's wrong Helo?" Lee asked, as Adama and Roslin looked on, too stunned to speak.

Helo pointed at Clea. "Those markings on her back ... " he stumbled out incoherently.

"What, these?" Lee asked, running a gentle finger over the pattern of moles and freckles. "It's just a birthmark. Kara has one just like it."

"Kara has one ... " he echoed, falling silent as he realized the implications. "I've seen it before," he said decisively.

"Well of course you would have. It partially shows when she's only wearing a bra and I know you two used to be workout buddies."

Helo shook his head vehemently. "No, not there." He leaned over the table and traced the markings on the infant's back. "These swirls ... Kara painted a mural of this in her apartment on Caprica."

Lee's eyes went wide with shock. "How would she ..."

Helo interrupted. "She said it was a pattern that she'd been doodling since she was a kid, this swirly mandala pattern. When she got her own apartment she painted a huge picture of it on one of the walls. She showed it to me when we were on Caprica together."

At this point Roslin broke into the conversation. "Kara ... Captain Thrace has these _identical _markings on her back as well? And this pattern is something she's been seeing all her life?" She paused and her eyes went glassy. "Apollo and Artemis ... maybe the Chief was right."

Adama frowned. "What are you talking about?"

In a hushed voice she explained. " _' The son and daughter of Zeus will be the protectors of humanity on their journey, one fighting with the fire of purity, the other with the arrow of truth.' "_

"Apollo and Artemis?" Adama questioned.

"The Chief theorized that referred to Apollo and Starbuck."

"So that would make me Zeus?" Adama asked skeptically, a trace of amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, but Kara is Starbuck, not Artemis," Lee objected. "Besides, they're just silly callsigns, not real names."

"Oh my gods." Helo looked as though he'd seen a ghost.

"What?"

"Kara's callsign was supposed to be Artemis - that's what the instructor suggested. It's been so long I'd completely forgotten."

"So why isn't it then?" Adama asked curiously.

Helo cleared his throat, as if embarrassed. "She said she thought it was rather egotistical to name yourself after a god." He glanced at Lee apologetically.

"Apollo and Artemis," Roslin said meditatively.

"Protectors of the fleet," Helo added.

"Makes sense to me," Adama chimed in. "But _Zeus_?"

Roslin giggled. "Well you _are_ the most powerful man in the universe now."

His shaggy eyebrows raised.

"Does that help us in any way?" Helo asked.

The smile faded from Roslin's face as she stared at Clea, now resting in Lee's arms. "Do you suppose ... there's some sort of message in that birthmark? I mean if Captain Thrace has it, her daughter has it, it's similar to a painting she painted ..."

" ... and it was in the Temple of Jupiter as well. The Chief showed me the picture he drew of the amulet he saw."

The table fell into stunned silence. Adama broke it by pushing his chair away from the table roughly and walking over to the phone on the wall.

"This is the Admiral. I want to speak with Mr. Gaeta."

A pause.

Suddenly it began to click into place for Lee as he stared at the markings on his daughter's back. He knew. He'd seen them somewhere before and not just on Kara's back. Somewhere ... out there ...

"Mr Gaeta. I'd like the star charts for the algae planet sector, the Lion's head nebula and our current position sent to the wardroom immediately."

**oooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara stared at him long and hard. He looked very similar to the Lee she knew ... very similar. Yet there were differences. He held himself differently, more proudly, as if happy to be who he was. And in his eyes there was a much different look - a look of peace and contentment, one she'd never seen in _her_ Lee's eyes. _They_ always held such a complicated look - joy, love, sorrow, anger, confusion, responsibility ... truly he was the most contrary person she knew. And she loved him for it.

"I can't believe you're one of them."

"Why not? If _you_ can be, why can't I?"

Kara shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Apollo - the name of a god. How ironic."

"It is one of my names."

"And I suppose he ended up with it as a callsign because of that."

"There was a certain ... deliberateness to it," he admitted with a smile. "Just as you were to have been Artemis."

Her lip curled into a smirk. "How could I have teased Lee about being so high and mighty with a god's callsign if I had one myself?"

"You've always been one to shy away from your destiny."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The smile left to be replaced by a scowl.

"We've been through many a cycle because you've refused to admit your destiny."

"And my destiny was to lead humanity to Earth," she stated, knowing the truth already but needing confirmation from this Lee-lookalike.

"Yes."

"So why didn't someone just tell me? _'Your destiny is to lead humanity to Earth' _- wouldn't that have been easier? I'd have been perfectly willing to do my part then."

He smiled. "I admit I would have preferred it that way myself. I like things to work simply - in a straight line. But the Wise One who decides always tells us life is like a puzzle and all the pieces need to fall into place as they will."

"Let me guess ... my piece was the last one needed," she said somewhat sarcastically. _Gods those blue eyes - those same blue eyes!_

"Your piece and his had to fit together properly before completing the puzzle. While you've tried many times you've never gotten the match quite right before."

Her voice turned bitter. "Yeah, and now that we've finally gotten it right we get separated - our family pulled apart and forced to suffer."

He walked forward a few steps and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. "It won't be for long, I promise you." Something flowed through her at his touch - something reassuring, warm, peaceful ... loving.

"We need to go Second," the First said, quiet until now.

"We will return later," he assured her.

"What am I supposed to do?" Kara asked, now at loose ends and feeling lost.

"Sit and think. The Wise One will be with you soon."

"Huh," she sighed, expelling all the air from her lungs. "I hate doing nothing."

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

For ten minutes not a sound was uttered. It was as though even Clea knew to be absolutely silent in order to allow Adama to concentrate.

Several times Helo opened his mouth to speak but shut it again immediately, respecting the Admiral's need for silence. Roslin too, had questions and thoughts to share but she recognized the grim set look on his face and knew the response she'd get. So she waited.

Only Lee was willing to brave the silence. "Dad?" he asked softly, eyes lifting from the star charts to look on his father's determined face.

Adama was silent a moment, as if he hadn't heard.

"Here it is," he said definitively a minute later, tapping the charts. He'd arranged the three in layers such that the layout of stars, planets and moons matched the swirl of moles and freckles on Clea's back.

"Holy frak," Helo said, eyes widening in awe. "Pardon my language sir."

"Pardoned," Adama said absently, never taking his eyes off the pages on the table.

"You've figured it out Bill, you've really figured it out," Roslin said, voice warm with admiration. He looked up to find a matching smile on her lovely face.

Lee tucked Clea under one arm and reached out to trace the spiraling pattern. "So this is when we were at the algae planet, this was the Lion's Head nebula, and we continued along this path here, till we ended up at our current location."

"Here are the twin gas giants we discovered when we first entered this planetary system," Helo added.

" ... and here's the planet we're orbiting now." Lee stopped for a moment, a lump beginning to grow in his throat. "And this ... this wild jumble here, this is where Kara disappeared." He swallowed involuntarily.

Helo's eyes met his in understanding. "Sure looks like it."

Adama cleared his throat gently. "The problem is that all we've done is figure out where we've been. How are we supposed to know where to go from here?"

The words rang through Lee's head - _'take care of Clea, take care of Clea ... Clea ...'_

"We have the map right in front of us," he blurted out as understanding hit him like the rays of the sun poking through a thick layer of clouds.

"Where?" Roslin demanded.

Lee held out his daughter. "Right here."

**TBC**


	15. Offerings

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...'**

**Chapter Fifteen - Offerings**

_'I traveled to a foreign land, through stormy seas and burning sand, led by the stars the ancient stream, the call of treasures yet unseen ... '_

The atmosphere on Galactica was tense, excited and something else it hadn't been in a very long time - optimistic. It was good. People were busy, often jostling each other in the corridors as they hurried to their duty stations, but their smiles and apologies were sincere.

Lee was torn.

On the one hand he wanted to spend as much time as possible with his daughter - now that she was three months old she was responding to him more like a person and less like a little lump of needs and wants, but on the other hand he desperately wanted to be out there leading the search for Earth.

The clues had pointed them unmistakably towards a nearby star system and everyone was anxious to get there and hopefully get some answers. Lee couldn't shake the feeling that, like the algae planet, there would be some remnants of civilization that would give them the next clue they needed. He wasn't sure quite _where_ these feelings were coming from but they were strong, and though he shared them with no one, he continued to believe steadfastly that the answers would be found.

He tried to force the thoughts out of his mind temporarily - he only had a few minutes before he was headed out on a recon mission and the new CAP schedule wasn't going to write itself while he was gone.

With a pang, he thought of Kara.

As his assistant she'd helped him with this particular job regularly and not only had made it fun with her bantering, but had often given him insights as to which pilots would work well together ... insights he himself would never have had. She had a way with people - abrasive at times it was true, but she saw potential where no one else did, and she managed to garner not only obedience and full cooperation from nearly all the pilots, but also their respect and admiration. There was no one who didn't like Starbuck ... even in spite of themselves at times.

A gentle knock preceded her entrance. "May I come in?"

Lee recognized the voice, stood and ducked in a half-bow. "Madam President. I didn't realize you were aboard."

"I'm not here in any official capacity." She smiled, turning on the charm.

He tried not to think of what that meant but failed horribly. "I see," was all he could manage before embarrassment caught his tongue and sent a faint blush creeping up his neck. Fortunately the high collar of his flightsuit hid the colouring ... or perhaps Roslin just chose to ignore his discomfiture.

"May I have a few words with you?" she asked earnestly.

"I only have a few minutes till I'm due in the hangar bay," he said in answer, leaving her wondering if that was his way of telling her he didn't want to speak with her.

"It will only take a minute," she promised.

Lee swept a hand towards the chair opposite and himself sat.

"I wanted to apologize to you," she began immediately, with no hesitation. "I've been very hard on you ... very unpleasant to you over the past few months and I'm sorry." She spoke the words as though they'd been rehearsed. _Perhaps this was something she'd been planning to say for some time?_

His eyes darted up to meet hers. Her intentions were genuine, that he could see. Laura Roslin was a woman of many talents but she'd never been able to lie. At least not to Lee.

"I accept your apology," he said softly. "I admit I haven't been very pleased with the way you've been treating me, but I understand we're all under a lot of stress - especially those in charge, and sometimes we say things we don't mean in our anger and frustration."

She smiled, a slightly surprised look on her face. "Thank you for being so understanding."

Lee's lip curled up in a Starbuck-like smirk. "You think you're the only one? I think my pilots are a little afraid of me these days. I uh ... haven't been as even-tempered as usual either." He drew a long breath. "Hopefully the fact that we actually have a plan now instead of just hanging about will give everyone a renewed sense of purpose and cooperation as a team. We're going to need that in order to succeed."

"I agree wholeheartedly." She smiled. "You're a wise man Captain Apollo," she added, using the endearment she'd given him long ago, seemingly in another lifetime, "just like your father. You're very much alike you know, which is perhaps why I get along well with both of you. Most of the time," she hastened to add.

Lee tried not to think about just how 'well' she got along with his father. He wasn't a prude in any way and was glad the Old Man was happy, but somehow seeing his father and Roslin having sex was an image he really didn't want in his head.

He flushed a little deeper and pushed his mind to other things. "I hate to cut this short but I've a mission about to begin so I'm going to have to go," he said, his way of apologizing for ending the conversation before it was truly over.

"Of course. I don't want to keep you from doing your job," she replied with a smile. "What is it you people say when you're about to head out there? Good hunting."

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

Kara felt rather than saw him approach. It wasn't the same 'feel' as Lee but it seemed the enforced solitude had sharpened her senses so they weren't just attuned to him.

"Hello again," she offered softly, eyes still shut.

"It's good to see you relaxing my child," he said genially, lowering his old frame down beside her on the grass.

"Seeing as how I didn't have much choice ..." The words were dry, sarcastic, typical of her. But underneath the sarcasm was an undercurrent of sadness.

He caught it.

"There's always a choice. That's what distinguishes you from animals. Humans have the ability to choose what they do - they aren't ruled by instinct."

She turned her head to him, eyes opening a crack. "So what were my choices then?"

"You didn't have to stay here. You could have wandered off - gone exploring."

"I was told to stay here," she explained wearily. _He was a god, he should already know that right?_

"Since when do you do what you're told?"

Her eyes opened wider to find his twinkling merrily. In spite of herself she smiled. "Touche. But then again I've never been given orders by a god either."

He nodded in acquiescence, a smile breaking out on his face. "But still, you had the choice to leave or stay."

She smiled back then looked away, eyes wandering far afield. He watched her for some moments before speaking.

"What are you thinking child?"

She sat as a stone, unmoving, unblinking. But for the slow, steady rise and fall of her chest she could be a statue.

"Do I have a choice in Clea's fate?"

His eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean?"

She turned to face him full on. " I mean, is there anything _I_ can do to stop her from dying?"

He shook his head sadly. "A sacrifice must be made."

"Does _she_ have to make it?" Emotions bubbling close to the surface caused her voice to waver. "Can I ... can I be the one instead?"

His eyes opened wide in surprise. "You're offering yourself in trade?"

Kara nodded vehemently, tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

"You understand what you're saying don't you? You would lose your life in order to secure hers."

Kara nodded again, a single tear breaking free and slowly tracking down her cheek.

"Are you _sure _you'd be willing to do that?" he asked gently.

"_Could _I?"

"It is not as I had foreseen it, but I will consider your request."

"I'll do anything to save her," Kara whispered.

"Being willing to give your life to save another is an incredible act of selflessness."

Kara sniffled. "Viper pilots do it every day. I did for over a year."

He shook his head. "That is different. Being willing to sacrifice yourself for the greater good is a logical choice - lose one to save many. But to give your life to save one _specific_ life - that goes much deeper into an instinctual level of being where you realize you care more about someone else than yourself. And that ... _that _is a beautiful thing."

A memory came unbidden to her - flying her viper straight at Lee, knowing it was the only way she could save him. _You are beyond insane!_ he'd shouted at her as she'd risked life and limb to save him. _Yes, it's beyond insane Lee,_ she thought. _It's love._

"Please let me save her," she begged, eyes filling with tears again, both at the thought of losing her daughter and the memory of almost losing Lee. There was no way she was willing to see either of them die, even if it meant she had to sacrifice herself to do it.

His eyes looked upon her kindly. "I will think on it my child."

**ooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"I didn't honestly expect her to suggest that."

He looked at her curiously. "You should know humans are capable of all kinds of surprises."

"Yes but this particular human? She's," he coughed, "not exactly selfless. In fact she's one of the most selfish people out there. She lives purely for herself. She does things and she takes from people without ever thinking of the consequences for_ them_. It's always about her gratification."

"Yes," he agreed slowly, "she does seem to be awfully focused on herself. But the child seems to have changed that."

"Even before that though," another voice objected. "With her first love. She had it in her power to do the one thing that would make him happy. And she did."

"Look how that turned out. Besides, did she do it to please _him_ or to make sure he didn't get angry with _her _when she denied him what he wanted?"

"I think that's an unfair assessment of her," the Wise One's voice broke in. "Yes she's made mistakes aplenty, but look back on her years growing up. Healthy relationships and how to do the right thing were never taught her back then. The lessons she learned served to make her afraid of getting too close to people. And when you don't care about people it's easy to just take without giving back."

There was a pause as the three of them reflected on his words.

"Are you going to grant her request?" one of them asked eventually.

The Wise One chose his words carefully. "I am very proud of her for maturing to the point where she's willing to do this, but I'm not sure I'm ready to lose her yet."

"Is there more to her destiny or has she fulfilled the requirements already?"

"She has succeeded in her chosen task thus far," the Wise One answered.

The two men nodded and moved away, leaving him alone with the female. Her laugh tinkled in the air like the delicate chirping of the birds. "I like how you didn't answer the question."

He looked at her sideways, a smile pulling at his mouth. "Oh you got that did you?"

She smiled widely, cheeks dimpling sweetly. "You handle their curiosity well."

"Curiosity is a good thing but it cannot always be indulged."

" 'Things must unfold in their own time'," she quoted, echoing the argument he'd made on many occasions when others had asked for answers.

"You have patience," the Wise One said appreciatively. "That is good."

"Doesn't mean I'm not full of curiosity inside," she shot back with a smile.

"I should be surprised if you weren't, knowing you," he replied with an answering grin. It began to fade slightly as his mind ran to other matters. "Still, things are not going quite as I had foreseen them to. It causes me concern."

"In what way?"

He smiled paternally at her. "No matter, I'm sure things will all work out. At least the other side of things is working. I was somewhat afraid, I must confess, that he would give up at her apparent death. Instead it has renewed his energy to find us ... to find her, and that pleases me."

She flushed slightly. "That's good. I'm glad you are pleased with the way things are turning out. You've spent much time to make this work."

"_Much time_?" he repeated, laughter bubbling up from within. "My entire existence. I've been waiting for this for longer than even you can begin to imagine."

She grinned widely again. "I'm glad it's finally working out then. You deserve some completion." She took a breath. "May I speak with her again? She's very curious, both about me and about her situation here. I'd like to be able to put her mind at ease."

"Of course," he nodded assent. "I think she'll be more open with you anyway."

"Thank you," she responded with a small bow, then turned and walked out of the thicket to join Kara in the open field beyond. Her smile dropped to be replaced by a frown as she thought of the truth she hadn't told him. Lying to God, even by omission, wasn't a good thing, and she was afraid of what might happen when the truth was found it.

If it ever was.

**TBC**


	16. Clues

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Sixteen - Clues**

_'In deepest night the secret learned and from these walls this city lies, the past will be our future, the journey will be over ...'_

Lee stood on the planet, unmoving, smelling the air and taking in the scenery. His hand was hovering over his weapon just in case, though scans had revealed no other lifeforms present. He couldn't seem to lose the feeling that there was some sort of danger, even though their technology appeared to prove otherwise. He'd always believed what computers had told him without question but lately he'd been having a lot more gut instinct hunches and he was learning to follow them.

It was something Kara would appreciate if he ever found her. He cursed himself mentally - _when_ he found her. There was no way he was giving up, not ever. He owed it to himself and to Clea to find her.

"Sir?" the Chief asked tentatively, walking up beside him. "Where do you want us to go?"

Lee checked out the landscape again then pointed towards an unusual-looking outcropping of rocks. "I'd like you to check that out Chief. Those rocks don't look like nature piled them there randomly. Perhaps there were people here once."

Tyrol could hear the hope in his voice. "Yes sir," he said, unholstering his weapon and heading away from the others.

"Helo, I want you to head that way," he pointed towards a ridgeline of trees. "It looks like there's water over there, given the greenery, and where there's water there's usually life. I think it's our best chance of finding signs that humans once lived here."

"Yes sir," Helo responded, heading off and leaving Lee alone.

_Now where am I going to go?_ he asked himself. A flash of what seemed to be movement caught his eye on a nearby hill. He watched it intently, hoping to see more but it didn't repeat itself. _Maybe it's just my imagination_, he thought._ Maybe I'm just seeing things because I want to see them_. But he decided to check it out anyway and unholstered his gun. If there _was_ something out there, he wasn't going to face it unprepared.

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

Tyrol stopped walking as a familiar feeling took hold of him. It was a tingling sensation that began in his toes and slowly worked it's way through his body, leaving his stomach fluttering wildly. He'd felt it for the first time on the algae planet - just before discovering the hidden temple. Since then he'd only felt it one other time - the night he'd pored over the scriptures and found the references to the children of Zeus.

"Uh oh," he murmured to himself. "Looks like Apollo might be right."

He stood still, allowing the feeling to take hold. He shut his eyes and a vision of a group of people kneeling in prayer before a rough, outdoor altar swept over him. Then it was gone. But the vision had left him with a definite feeling of where to go. He turned away from the rocks and kept walking till he was in a tree-sheltered area nearby.

He scanned the area and then he saw it, nearly hidden behind some overgrown bushes.

He pushed them aside and stepped into what had obviously been a small clearing with a rock altar built up at one end.

He stood still, as if feeling the presence of the gods, though from it's unkempt appearance he surmised it had evidently been abandoned long ago. He had his doubts about the gods himself but his father had instilled in him a healthy respect for all things religious. And his own experiences in recent months were beginning to make him wonder if perhaps everything his father had wholeheartedly believed in had been true.

He blinked and the moment was broken. It was time to contact the others.

"Apollo, Helo," he called out. "I've found something."

**ooooooooooooooooo**

Sam sighed as he headed back towards his old quarters. Today was definitely not a day he wanted to be babysitting but Kristy had asked him to while she'd be off-ship for a few hours.

He was exhausted though, and his muscles screamed after the eight hours of hand-to-hand combat training he'd just lived through. He'd though he was a pretty fit man - hell, he _was_, but this had taxed muscles he didn't even remember having, and the constant vigilance that he'd had to labour under had wearied his mind doubly as well.

It was like being back on Caprica again.

He gave a soft tap at the door - no need to wake a sleeping baby if indeed she was asleep. It would make his job even easier if she was.

"Hi Sam. Thanks for coming."

He smiled and nodded.

She went on a few minutes describing all that Clea had done that afternoon and what was expected of him for the next three hours while she and Lucas were gone.

"It's okay Kristy, I know what to do." He laid a hand on her shoulder gently.

She smiled up at him and in that moment something was there ... then it was gone just as quickly. She turned away and grabbed her bag and Lucas.

"Good luck with her," she called out as she headed out the door.

"Don't worry," he answered. "Just go have fun."

She flashed him a pretty smile then was gone.

He peeked at the sleeping baby. _ Thank you,_ he thought quickly._ Now maybe I can shower and get a little bit of rest before she wakes up._

But he found that showering in the washroom he'd shared with Kara (and had made love to her in - perhaps _he_ had too?) and lying down in the bed they'd once called theirs had caused him to feel too unsettled to sleep. Instead he gave himself up to thinking.

_How did things go wrong with me and Kara?_

Well, he had to admit to himself, maybe they'd never really been right. Maybe it had all been just wishful thinking that everything was okay. He thought back to the beginning and tried to replay it all from there, hoping to get some clues as to what had happened.

She'd been distant and noncommittal with him, even back at the beginning. True, she'd been seemingly as distraught as he'd been at her returning to Galactica without him, but her behaviour in their time together on Caprica had been more 'passing fancy - someone to help me forget my troubles' than 'this is the one - the person I want to spend my life with.'

And come to think of it now, her behaviour after they'd returned to Galactica had been odd - especially that first meeting with Lee. She'd been flirty and fun, which he'd come to learn was a part of who she was, but there was something else in the way she'd treated him in front of Lee. Not quite real ... almost as though she'd been acting a part. Now that he thought back on it, it was like she'd been saying 'hey Lee, see? I can be happy with someone else. I don't need you anymore.'

He smacked his forehead with his palm. How could he have been so stupid not to have seen it earlier? She'd already been in love with Lee then - they obviously had a history together that she was desperately trying to convince herself (and maybe him too) didn't exist anymore. She'd married Sam and seemed happy with him down on New Caprica but there had always been a wistful part of her that had never seemed quite content to be where she was. He'd thought it was because she missed flying.

But it was Lee she'd missed being with.

That fight they'd had in the boxing ring - wow, they'd really beaten the crap out of one another! He'd thought it was because they truly were angry until Dualla had made her snide comment about them - then he hadn't known what to think.

Now he knew - Lee and Kara had loved each other and they'd been punishing one another for turning away and marrying other people.

He'd wondered at Kara's odd behaviour, how she'd pushed him away, pulled him back, treated him coldly like he was nobody to her, then became warm and loving. He'd thought the answer had lay on New Caprica with what the cylons had done to her. The gods alone knew if anyone had reason to fear and loathe the cylons, it was her. He figured they'd mind frakked her (maybe physically too?) till she hardly knew which way was up and she'd been confused and just needed time and TLC to heal.

Now he knew - she and Lee were having an affair and though he didn't know the details (didn't want to either, thank you) he suspected her changeable behaviour was because they'd been arguing about whether or not to leave their spouses to be with each other. It only made sense that it wouldn't have gone smoothly. Given what he knew of Lee and the man's 'do the right thing at all costs' ideals, he couldn't see him leaving his wife for Kara.

And Kara? Well he couldn't even begin to figure out her motivations. Kara was far too complex and private a person. For all that she had a big personality that she allowed others to see, inside there was much more hidden away. He'd only seen vague glimpses of it himself because she hadn't wanted to let him in. Who knew how she really felt about marriage and divorce? She'd seemed devoted to him for a time but though that had passed pretty quickly she hadn't seemed to want to let him go. He'd always found her confusing and frustrating that way. But he'd loved her anyway and had been willing to wait for her to figure it out.

Obviously Lee had loved her that way too. And even if their relationship hadn't been formal (or even public) it had meant just as much to the two of them as his marriage to Kara meant to him.

So in the end, he concluded, it hadn't been his fault the relationship had died. It had been doomed from the start. Kara had walked into it, eyes open, knowing she was in love with another man.

"How frakking unfair is that?" he murmured to himself as he lay there, hands laced beneath his head.

The sounds of happy gurgling answered him. He sat up and looked into the bassinet.

"Hey little munchkin," he said softly, picking her up and holding her close. "Sorry about the swearing. I won't do it again, I promise."

She gurgled at him in response. He smiled, despite his bad mood. There was just something about her ... maybe it was her clear blue eyes that seemed to see right through you when she deigned to allow her gaze to rest on your face. Whatever it was, he just couldn't help himself - no matter how bad he was feeling her mere presence cheered him up.

"Thank you," he whispered, nuzzling the top of her fuzzy head with his scratchy chin. Her answering gurgle sounded suspiciously like a giggle. He pulled back and looked and sure enough there was a big toothless grin on her face.

"Uh," she said, smiling beautifully at him.

"You really are a charmer," he said, smile widening. "I wonder if you get that from your mom or your dad. I've seen your mom turn on the charm and she's darn near irresistible when she does. But I suspect your dad has a little bit of that in him too, though he's never used it on me. Thank the gods!" he added with a chuckle.

The next hour and a half passed quickly as he invented games with her and made her laugh. The sound of her laughter warmed his cold, desolate heart and made him feel just a little less lost. Perhaps he _could_ learn to feel again someday ...

Shortly before Kristy was due back, Clea began to get tired and fussy. Sam picked her up and cuddled her close against his heart, wrapped in a warm blanket. She fell asleep almost instantly. He sighed.

"If only you were mine ... I'd give anything for you to have been my daughter ... but no matter what happens I'll take care of you. I love your mother so much and though she doesn't love me back I'd do anything for her." He kissed the top of her head before putting her back in the bassinet. "Maybe I'll get lucky again someday and find someone else as great as Kara. Someone who'll love me as much as I love her."

Clea murmured something unintelligible in her sleep.

Just then the hatch opened softly and Kristy, followed closely by Lucas, wandered in. "So, how'd it go?" she asked softly, seeing the little bundle wrapped up in her bed.

"It went great. She's a little sweetheart."

Kristy felt sorry for him. It was obvious how much finding out Clea wasn't his daughter was still hurting him. He was a good man, a loving man ... a family man. Someone who obviously wanted a wife and kids to share his life with. He tried to hide it under the macho exterior but she could see how much it was hurting him to be with the little girl he'd thought was his daughter.

She put a hand on his broad arm, covering the large tattoo he still sported. "Someday Sam. Someday you'll find someone else and you'll have a nice family of your own." Their eyes met and for a moment a spark was shared.

"I hope so," he said softly.

She leaned up impulsively to kiss him on the cheek but somehow she missed and their lips connected. A fire ran through her, warming her right down to her toes.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered, as she broke off the kiss.

He put a hand on her neck and guided her head back to his. "It's okay. It really is okay." And he leaned down and kissed her again, this time allowing the kiss to continue.

For the first time in a over a month he felt alive again. Clea and Kristy were giving him something to live for. He wasn't sure he believed in all the nonsense about the scriptures and the gods but he sent up a quick prayer anyway.

_Thank you._

**TBC**


	17. Awakenings

**'The Stars In Your Hand ... '**

**Chapter Seventeen - Awakenings**

_'Within their tombs of holy stone, the scrolls of life, one man alone ...'_

There it was again.

A flash of something just over the rocks. He chastised himself as his heart began to beat quicker in anticipation - he was positive what he'd seen had been a flash of blonde hair blowing in the wind. _It's not her!_ he told himself firmly. _This isn't Earth and she isn't here. You're just imagining things._ A part of him couldn't help but be hopeful though. She'd said she was alive and on Earth, and she'd been positive that he could find his way there._ Whatever it is I'm seeing might not be Kara but I'm willing to bet it will give me _some_ sort of clue to finding her._

He strode purposefully over the rocks and stopped dead.

It _was_ her. It was her flowing blonde hair he'd seen waving gently in the breeze. She was dressed differently - in a dress and barefeet,_ couldn't be my imagination, I've never seen her look like this before!,_ and now that she wasn't wearing a helmet he could see that her hair was longer.

"Kara" he breathed, feeling his chest constrict at the sight of her. His eyes prickled with tears.

She walked towards him gracefully, like a dancer. "Yes and no," she replied softly, an enigmatic smile on her face.

He wanted to run over, throw his arms around her and never let go but his legs wouldn't budge, forcing him to wait for her to come to him.

"What do you mean 'yes and no'? Are you or aren't you Kara Thrace?"

"I am and I'm not."

Lee gave a frustrated sigh. "Well that makes things _much_ clearer."

She smiled at him, not without sympathy. "I know it's hard for you to understand." She walked closer, just to the edge of the invisible barrier that enclosed his personal space. "Kara and I are the same in many ways but we are not the same person."

"Are you ... her twin?" Lee suggested hesitantly. He'd never heard her say she had siblings but there was no other explanation ... was there?

Her laugh tinkled familiarly, causing his throat to clench with emotion.

"No, the chosen one does not have a twin."

"Kara is the chosen one? What chosen one?"

"The one to lead humanity to Earth," she said innocently, inflection hinting that that was something he should have already figured out. "She provided what was needed for you to find the way."

"But you're not her," Lee repeated, trying to get it all straight in his mind.

She shook her head. "No. And I shouldn't even be here now." She began to step backwards.

"No, please don't go."

"I must. I just came to tell you you're on the right track. You will achieve success if you persevere."

"That's it? You can't tell me any more than that?" His eyes pleaded with her.

"The pattern. Follow the pattern. It will lead you in the right direction."

"Pattern? What pattern? You can't just leave now! Please!" Lee began to shout, feet finally released taking him towards her as she began to vanish.

_Holy frak it really isn't her,_ he thought in amazement as she grew wispier and more see-through until she vanished completely.

_"The pattern." _

The words seemed to echo in his mind even after she was gone.

_"You'll know what it is when you see it."_

He walked over to where she'd been standing almost in disbelief. Just a few seconds earlier Kara had been standing here! Well not Kara, but still Kara. It had looked like her, spoken like her ... but as far as he knew she'd never had the ability to vanish into thin air right before someone's eyes. No human could do that. Was she a spirit? A ghost? From the afterlife perhaps? _No,_ he shook his head firmly. _She wasn't dead - isn't dead. Whoever she is she's very firm on that point. Kara is alive and well on Earth and we will find her. We will. I will ..._

**oooooooooooooooooo**

"Apollo, Helo, I've found something."

The Chief's voice brought him back to reality. His heart beat faster as he hurried back to where Tyrol had gone. Helo beat him there and the two of them were waiting for him. Helo's face held a look of hopeful expectation. Tyrol's ... he couldn't quite read. It was as though he were trying to hide his feelings.

"What have you got?" he asked shortly, breath coming in small gasps after his run.

"This." Tyrol turned and walked down into a small clearing, beckoning them to follow. They stopped short and stood stock-still, all three of them speechless.

"What is it?" Helo asked softly after a time, seeming to sense the holiness of the place and not wanting to disturb the spirits, should there still be any lingering.

"An altar of worship." Tyrol's voice was quiet and full of reverence as well, something Lee had never heard from him. From either of them for that matter. But he understood - he too could feel the power this place held. There was nothing tangible to give evidence to his feelings but he was certain the gods had abandoned this place centuries earlier and that they were the first humans to set foot on this holy ground in many generations.

The pile of stones looked somewhat out of kilter, askew, as though a child had piled them up with no geometrical plan in mind. The rocks surrounding it however struck Lee differently. It was as though there was a pattern to them somehow ... _a pattern!_

He smacked himself on the forehead_ almost literally,_ and looked around frantically, dropping his weapon and beginning to climb the nearest tree.

"What the frak are you doing?" Helo asked, one eyebrow raising.

Tyrol echoed that thought inwardly - the CAG had done a lot of odd things in the time Tyrol had known him, but climbing trees like a ten-year- old? That had to top everything he'd done so far. But he wasn't an officer and was way down the chain of command from Lee. It wasn't his place to ask those sorts of questions.

"I need to see," Lee answered breathlessly as he pulled himself up branch by branch. He'd always enjoyed having a good physique - muscles that responded when necessary, but never more so than now.

"And you can't see from down here?"

"Need to see the big picture. The pattern."

Helo shrugged, not pushing it. He and Lee had grown relatively close, surprising since Lee had held such feelings of anger against Sharon, but the fragile friendship they'd attained recently could only be pushed so far and Helo didn't want to risk it. Lee had been acting strangely, that he'd noticed, but whatever was happening to him had gotten results. The fleet had moved forward, well on their way towards Earth. And had he been in Lee's place with the woman he loved missing, he knew he too would have done anything, no matter how crazy it seemed, to find her.

Lee sat in the crook of an uppermost branch and stared down at the rocks. Definitely a familiar pattern. The circles, the swirls ... they'd seemed random from down on ground level but now that he was up above, seeing the whole thing, he could clearly see the pattern that was also on Clea's and Kara's backs. His spine prickled at the thought. Were these images, this mandala swirl, the product of some higher being? Was Kara truly 'the chosen one'? Was Clea? Perhaps the gods he'd staunchly refused to believe in had done this. If so, why did it have to be Kara and Clea, the two people he loved best in the world, out of all the other humans who'd ever existed?

The very thought made him feel small and insignificant. A quote he'd once read popped into his head -

_'the stars like dust encircle me'_

If the stars were like dust, each one large and beautiful though like a grain of sand on a beach, what did that make him?

He climbed down, feeling decidedly humbled.

"So, did you figure it out?" Tyrol asked as Lee moved to stand with them.

He nodded.

Helo looked at him questioningly.

"It's part of the map." He swallowed involuntarily. "I need to get back to Galactica."

The others nodded and they silently made their way back, each lost in his own thoughts.

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

She swirled the now-precious liquid in her glass. "Do you think he'll find anything?" she asked, almost more of herself than of him.

Bill's jaw set firmly but kindly. "It wouldn't surprise me."

Laura smiled her usual beautiful grin, looking almost ghoulish through the thick glass. "He can certainly be very persistent when he wants to be," she said lightly. "A real chip off the old block."

Adama smiled at her. There were women who were nice and women who were attractive and though Laura Roslin was both (at times anyway - she could be very not-nice too), she also had something else that most women didn't have - charm. And boy did she know how to use it! It was what made her a good politician and made her extremely attractive and desirable as a woman as well.

"That surprises me a little," he said. "I've never really thought of Lee as much like me."

Her winning smile shone brightly again. "Well that just goes to show how unobservant men can be."

He looked slightly offended.

"Well it's true," she said, taking another sip of her drink. "I'll bet you never had a clue about Lee's feelings for Captain Thrace did you?"

"At some point the rumours filtered all the way up to me but I can't say I was happy to learn they'd both been cheating on their spouses."

She shook her head, her hair a cloud of red-brown fire swirling around her face. "No, I meant long before that. Way back in the beginning."

"Beginning?"

"You know, right after the attacks. I could see it plain as day right from then that he had it bad for her."

"Lee? Kara? No ..."

Roslin nodded vehemently. "Think about it Bill. Why was he so obsessed with finding her when she went missing on that moon? Even friendship doesn't go so far as to be willing to let the whole of humanity die to save one person."

Adama frowned.

"And when I sent her off to Caprica to retrieve the arrow?" She didn't even blush at the memory. "He was lost without her. Absolutely lost. Of course it didn't help that you'd been shot either ... he thought he was losing the only two people he loved and he just couldn't handle it."

"You think that's it? I've always figured it was just his political idealism that got him into hot water then."

Roslin shook her head firmly. "That was certainly part of it but being the good soldier and following orders is also a big part of who he is. He wouldn't have just cast that aside and done something as reckless as he did without feeling like he had nothing to lose ... nothing left to live for. And if you'll forgive me, those aren't the feelings and emotions spurred by the loss of a parent but by the loss of the love of one's life."

Adama contemplated that for a while. Perhaps she did have a point. He had wondered himself why Lee had looked so ill when he'd shared the good news of Kara's marriage to Sam Anders. And why Lee had seemed to lose all sense of direction and purpose in his life during Kara's time on New Caprica. The pieces all began to fit into place - Lee had been in love with Kara right from the beginning but she hadn't felt the same way._ Or perhaps had been too scared to admit she did?_

Whatever it was, it seemed they'd finally overcome it ... and then it was all taken away.

For the first time he was truly able to understand his son's feelings about the whole situation and realize why Lee was so determined. He locked eyes with Roslin, sharing a look of understanding.

"Thank you," he said softly.

She just smiled.

"I think I need to go spend some time with my granddaughter."

**ooooooooooooooo**

She felt him return again, a very distinct personality amidst the nature around her. He sat with her in silence.

"I'm surprised you're not asking me anything," he said after a time. There was a merry twinkle in his eye though she was looking away and didn't see it.

She gave a rueful grin. "That's only because I have so many questions I don't know where to begin. And shouting and demanding answers doesn't really seem to be getting me anywhere."

He smiled proudly, like a happy father. "I see you're beginning to learn patience."

"Patience has never been one of my virtues ... if I have any at all."

"You most certainly do," he said positively. "We've given you many. But patience was one you had to learn on your own."

"And trust as well?" Kara asked shrewdly.

He stole a glance at her. "You are very perceptive. _That_ is one of your virtues. Yes, we put every obstacle possible in front of you to prevent you from trusting blindly. Trust has to be earned, and it, along with patience, were things you had to learn in your own time from your own experiences. I do regret that it's made a difficult life for you. You've had to suffer for many of humanity's faux pas. But that's done now and life will be better for you."

Sorrow etched a haunting beauty on her face. "It won't be better till I have my daughter and Lee here with me."

He put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "They will come. They are already on their way."

"How will they know how to get here? _ I _don't even have any idea how I came."

"We brought you here. There was no journey. They have to make the journey in order to find Earth themselves."

"That could take forever!"

He shook his head in amusement at her exasperation. "It won't take that long."

"You don't know how those Adamas work. They can be awfully obtuse and stubborn at times."

"Which is exactly why I gave them a small helping hand," another voice chimed in.

Kara spun around to find her almost-clone standing behind her. Strange that she hadn't sensed her arrival ...

The elder god frowned. "You shouldn't have intervened without consent."

"They would have given up," she said simply. "They would have searched for her, not found her and given her up for dead."

"What did you do?" The wise one's voice was vaguely disapproving.

"I showed myself to him. Told him she was still alive and on Earth."

"That's all?"

She nodded. "To figure out how to get here he'll still have to put the clues together. Which he is," she added. "They've come quite a ways already and are nearly at the portal."

His eyebrows raised. "Good. They are doing better than I'd hoped for."

"Does that mean they'll be here soon?" Kara asked hopefully, heart thumping in her chest. "I miss them so much." Tears began to cloud her eyes.

The wise one smiled kindly at her. "They'll be here sooner than you realize child. Have patience."

**TBC**

**A/N: **The quote 'the stars like dust encircle me' is by Isaac Asimov from his novel 'The Stars, Like Dust' and is used without permission. It was the first thing that came to mind when I was first naming this story (alas I couldn't use it though) and has stayed with me throughout my writings over the last months. I just couldn't resist using it. :) Oh and thanks to all of you who arae still reading this story, and especially to those leaving me notes to let me know what they think of it. I really appreciate the feedback, so thank you!


	18. Forces

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...'**

**Chapter Eighteen - Forces**

_'New formations, moving sound, then came what I could not explain, I felt a hand turned ... '_

There was a wondering silence in the wardroom as the significance of what they were seeing sunk in.

"It's incredible," Roslin whispered.

"Genius," Adama agreed.

"Beautiful."

The others eyed him with amusement. "What?" Lee said, blushing slightly. "The pattern has a beauty to it - there's a definite shape and intricate design here." He pointed.

Roslin smiled to herself. His words didn't surprise her in the slightest. He had a very orderly mind that liked deliberateness and shied away from chaos. Which often made her wonder why it was he cared so deeply for Kara, who seemed to be the very definition of chaos itself. Perhaps he saw something in her, some pattern and intricate design that no one else could see. Or perhaps in this one aspect of his life he was willing to allow chaos to have free reign.

"These stars here," Adama interrupted her reflections, "seem to be where we need to go."

"It reminds me of something," Tyrol mused out loud, barely aware he'd spoken. He still found himself awed at being invited to be a part of these discussions. He understood why they wanted him but having lived a class down in deckhand territory all his life he still felt uncomfortable hobnobbing with the elite.

All eyes turned to him.

"They look like ... framing here ... " He traced the star chart. " ... around on three sides ... like an opening ... a gateway perhaps ..."

"A portal." The words came out before Lee was aware of speaking them. "It will lead us to a different system."

Adama watched his son with growing worry. It was as though Lee was in a trance - his breathing was fast and shallow and his eyes were glassy.

"Closer to Earth?" he prodded gently.

"This is the way we must go, through the portal."

"Are you sure?"

Lee's eyes, lucid once again, fixed on his father's face. "Absolutely."

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

"You are not going ahead of us and that's final." Adama's words were icy.

"You need a team to go ahead and scout the way," Lee argued. "It's_ protocol_."

After instructing his crew to plot a course into the portal, Adama had ordered Lee to take some downtime in his quarters. And had followed him there.

"Frak protocol."

Lee's eyes widened and for a moment he had no idea what to say.

"That's odd, coming from you."

"I'm not losing you. I lost two of my children already," he held up a hand as Lee began to protest, " ... yes, I know you're convinced we'll see Kara again but I'm not, and I'm not willing to put your life on the line for this."

"That's considered favouritism isn't it?" Lee asked, just a hint of humour twinkling in his eyes.

"I don't care_ what _it is. I've lost Zak, I've lost Kara and you're not going to go out on some fool's errand to who the hell knows where without the rest of us. You have no idea where you'll end up and if you end up somewhere we can't follow just like Kara did then Clea, " his eyes flicked down to the child in Lee's arms, " will have no one to take care of her. Yes I know there are others who can and are already, but do you really want her to have the burden of having lost both her parents before she's even half a year old to bear for the rest of her life?"

The heated retort Lee was about to make died on his lips. His father had a point. What if the portal was like the vortex Kara had gone through? What if it only opened once and wherever Lee ended up Galactica couldn't follow? And what if he was wrong and it didn't lead to Earth? Then his father would be right, Clea would have no one.

Adama watched his son struggle. Lee had always tried to be the stoic soldier but he had real trouble hiding his feelings from those who knew him best. And Adama could read him as if Lee's head was made of glass. He didn't want to abandon Clea, but he desperately wanted to go ahead and find Kara as quickly as possible.

"I've got the entry scheduled for six hours from now. We'll all go in together," he said gently.

Lee nodded, holding Clea close. He appreciated that his father was throwing his usual reserve to the wind and supporting him and his relationship with Kara. He wondered how much of that was because of Clea.

She turned in his arms just as the thought crossed his mind and gave his father a big, wide smile.

Adama's face crumpled. The expression on it pulled at Lee's heart strings. He'd never seen his father look so loving and vulnerable before.

Yes, being a grandfather was changing the Old Man. For the better.

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

She'd been asleep in his arms for nearly an hour and he still couldn't take his eyes off her. She was the most precious thing he'd ever seen ... well except for his boys when they were this age. He loved his sons - always had - but he'd secretly harboured a wish for a daughter that had yet to be fulfilled. He'd thought Kara was it when they'd grown close in the years after Zak's death but it wasn't quite the same as this - a new life, untainted, untarnished by the past.

This relationship with Clea was a fresh start for him.

His weathered face creased in an uncomplicated happy smile. This precious little girl was a gift from his son and daughter and he adored her.

She began to stir, as if aware of his thoughts, and smiled sweetly as her chubby hand rubbed across her eyes. Their eyes met and even though she was only an infant, he could see eternity written in them ...

_He was sitting on a hill, the warm breeze ruffling his hair as he watched them play. The man - so familiar with his short brown hair, piercingly blue eyes and firmly toned body, and the child - platinum blonde pigtails, ivory-pale skin and a wide, infectious smile like her mother's. They chased each other through the field, leaving flattened clover and daisies in their wake. Their laughter rang through the air - music to his old, tired heart._

_His gaze turned to the woman standing nearby, watching the play. Her hair was like spun gold and the light in her eyes was almost blinding. Her smile was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her hand moved to caress her swollen belly, the child within the only reason she wasn't joining in the fun._

_It was a beautiful family in every way and he chastised himself for ever doubting it would work._

_The redhead beside him spoke, answering his thoughts as if she'd heard them loud and clear._

_"It's in your nature to be skeptical. It's how you were made."_

_He turned to face her, her beautiful smile half-hidden by the wild mane of hair blowing gently across her face. He reached a gentle hand up to brush away the soft strands._

_"I'm going to miss them. And you," he added, cupping her cheek lovingly._

_Her smile took on a haunting quality. "I'm going to miss you too Bill," she said quietly. "But you're doing the right thing."_

_He looked back at the happy family, child now in his son's arms as he stood beside his wife._

_"I've never doubted that," he said with conviction. "There was never a choice."_

_She laid a hand over his, supporting him as always. "I love you Bill. I've always loved you. I think I loved you before we ever even met." She smiled. "Maybe that's why I never made the commitment to anyone else - I was waiting for you."_

_He leaned over and kissed her, sweet and chaste, unlike many of the kisses they'd shared in the past. He took her into his arms and held her tightly, unwilling to let go it seemed._

_"It is time."_

_The low voice from behind finally moved him._

_"Take care Laura. I'll see you on the other side." He swallowed, forcing the tears back. She'd never seen him cry - now wasn't the time to start._

_"I won't be long, I promise."_

_Her voice was barely a whisper on the wind but he clung to it, locking the words into his heart securely._

_There were tears on his worn, weathered cheeks as he walked away ..._

He blinked a couple of times and wiped the tears with his free hand. He sat, shaking as he thought back over the vision. He didn't completely understand it but it left him with the feeling that he had something very important he was going to have to do ... if only he could figure out what it was.

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

She couldn't help but explore.

Kara's natural instinct was to be curious and even though curiosity killed the cat as the old expression went, she couldn't quell that aspect of her personality for long. Besides, didn't cats have nine lives? She'd only used up two or three so far ... and more than a handful of close calls, so she must have an ample supply left to indulge that curiosity.

With that justification firmly planted in her brain she headed off happily into the forest. _I was good, I stayed put for a while. No one ever said how_ long_ I had to stick around here ..._

She shivered slightly and pulled the sleeves down over her wrists again. It was much cooler here in the shade and she could have sworn the humidity had risen at least twenty-five percent. The forest was noisier than the field had been - birds, small animals and insect sounds made up a constant chorus of background noise to the crackling and snapping of the twigs beneath her feet. She was glad to have her flightsuit on. It was keeping her warm - that was it's purpose in space after all, _and_ protecting her from the bloodthirsty insects that were starting to notice her presence.

She walked a fair distance, attempting to go in a straight line so that she might be able to find her way back without any difficulty. As she stopped and looked back she realized it was a futile effort; everything looked the same - she'd never know where she'd been and where she hadn't. One wrong step and she'd be trapped in here forever._ Surely they'd find me,_ she thought, a little seed of worry beginning to grow in the pit of her stomach. _The gods would come looking for me wouldn't they? I'm special - they can't afford to just lose me._

Just as the thought crossed her mind she heard voices in the distance. She sought instinctively for shelter and darted behind a large tree, crouching low against it's trunk. She couldn't quite make out what they were saying from this distance but they were talking about a 'she' and her spine prickled uncomfortably at the certainly it was her they were talking about.

As they drew closer her discomfort grew. There was something familiar about the voices - both of them, but particularly the female one. There was a singsong quality to it, something hypnotizing ... something that had the charisma to draw people in ...

Her body came out in goosebumps.

She stepped out from her cover slightly to get a look. _Holy frakking father of the gods,_ she thought, totally dumbstruck._ Roslin ... the President, the frakking _President_ of all of humanity is a god!_

The knowledge hit her harder than finding out she herself and Lee were fashioned after the gods.

She fainted.

**TBC**


	19. Disclosure

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Nineteen - Disclosure**

_'Someday we're going to go back to the stars, and find the answer who we really are ...'_

When she opened her eyes it was warm. Bright sunshine flooded them and made them sting with tears. She closed them again and blessed darkness stole over her.

"She's awake." She heard the low, gravely voice, familiar in it's every nuance, causing her to shiver uncontrollably.

"Are you okay?" The voice that belonged to Laura Roslin leaned close. Close enough that Kara could smell the shampoo she used to cleanse the long, thick mane of hair. It was citrusy with just a hint of strawberry and it made her mouth water.

She opened her eyes a crack and peered at the other person ... the one who wore Bill Adama's face.

"Not you too?" she murmured, a grumpy edge to her voice.

"Yes, I'm afraid I'm one of us as well," he replied, a twinkle in his eye.

Kara pushed herself up to a sitting position and glanced between the two of them repeatedly, shaking her head. "I can't believe it. First me, then Lee ... now you two ..."

The Roslin look-alike smiled at Adama. "It shouldn't be too surprising that God would put all of us into a position to guard and guide humanity. How else could He be certain we'd make it?"

Kara conceded the point. It did make sense. "So who's the fifth?"

"That is something you will learn in time," the Wise One said, coming up behind her.

"Oh but you know how I hate waiting," she said teasingly.

"You weren't supposed to learn the identity of these two yet and still you want more?" His twinkling eyes told her he was teasing her right back.

"Well you know me," she said jocularly, shaking her head coquettishly. "I'm all about curiosity." Suddenly something occurred to her. "Speaking of curiosity, why is it every time I turn around I'm dressed differently? When I left Galactica I was in a flightsuit but when I got here I was in a dress. When I entered the forest I was suddenly in my flightsuit again but now I'm back in that dress. How exactly is that possible?"

The three gods eyed her, noticing her wary look. The Wise One chose to answer.

"It is all created by your mind."

Kara's confusion was evident. She didn't have to voice it.

"It is your imagination child. You arrived here in the hot, blazing sun and your mind conjured up what would be most comfortable for that weather. When you entered the forest where it was cooler your mind clothed you in something it knew would keep you warm."

"So what you're saying is it's all my imagination. Nothing's real."

"In a sense, yes. Your mind will use whatever familiar images it can to help you in this unfamiliar place."

"So why would my mind have conjured up a sundress instead of my regulation tanks and shorts? It's not like wearing dresses is familiar to me," she wondered aloud.

The Wise One shrugged good-naturedly. "Who knows how your mind works sometimes? Maybe you'd _like_ to see yourself wearing a dress more often."

She nodded non-commitally. Something more important needed to be addressed. "Is mind-manipulation and conjuring fantasies a normal thing here on Earth? I mean, does _everyone_ do it?" A vision flashed through her mind of people being forced to do things they didn't want to because someone else imagined it. It was a pleasant thought if _you_ were the one having the fantasy - say about someone you wanted but couldn't have, but it was a lot more horrifying if you were the one forced into actions you were firmly against. _ Like what Leoben made you do,_ she thought fleetingly, remembering the helpless feeling she'd had whilst being held prisoner. No, that was not a feeling she ever wanted to experience again. Ever. She shivered.

"No, of course not. I think you yourself have seen how dangerous that would be," he answered.

"Then why me? Is it because I'm 'special'?"

The inflection made it clear to him that being special was the last thing she wanted.

"In a way," he said gently. "You are not really here."

Her eyebrows raised. "Great. Are you going to tell me black is white and night is day too?"

"No. What I mean to say ..."

" ... and are not doing it very delicately," interjected the Roslin-god with a little smile.

"No, delicateness is definitely more your forte my dear," the Wise One admitted.

"Well if you'd like me to continue ..." she offered with a subtle smile.

"No, thank you but I can handle it."

She looked meaningfully at the Adama-god. "Perhaps we should go."

Kara watched him intently. Just like his human counterpart she could see him defer to her better judgment, though leaving was obviously the last thing he wanted to do.

She turned back to the elder god as they strolled away together, a bemused expression on her face.

His gaze was questioning.

"They remind me so much of ... " She trailed off, not having any idea how to express the confusion in her mind.

"They should, their counterparts have many of the same qualities of personality. It's not just a physical likeness."

"So my ... god, the one I look like_ is_ like me as well?"

He nodded. "Scary as it seems."

She frowned, not sure if it was a compliment or not.

"Back to matters at hand. I never finished explaining where you are."

"You told me I was on Earth before."

"In a way, yes. But also not."

Kara shook her head. "Is there any way you could be clearer 'cause I'm just not getting it."

"You're in the space between life and death."

Her spine prickled with fear. "You want to tell me what that means?" she asked quietly.

"The vortex you came through on your journey should have killed you. Under normal circumstances it would have but since I created it I was able to lessen it's damaging effects on you. Effectively what happened is you split into two - your body came here but your soul stayed there. You're on Earth because I brought you here to talk to you but you're only a spirit as far as everyone else here can tell. That's why I've kept you secluded in such a private place - you can't interact with anyone else here and to try to do so would have been highly disconcerting to you."

Kara's face darkened as he spoke. His explanation hadn't assuaged her fear - if anything it had amplified it. "So will I be whole again?" she asked in a whisper.

He nodded confidently. "When they arrive here your soul will be rejoined with your body and you will be whole again." He felt remorse at her obvious fear and sadness. Don't worry child. The time is drawing near. They are almost here."

**oooooooooooooooooo**

The nervous energy crackled through the air in CIC - probably throughout the rest of the ship too, but for Lee, whose heart and soul were on the line here, CIC was where he had to be.

"Countdown sixty seconds," Adama said brusquely. "Begin now."

"Sixty seconds, mark," Gaeta said over the loudspeaker, informing what was left of humanity that they had one minute left till they were to take one of their biggest risks yet.

"Fifty seconds."

Adama gazed around the large room as the countdown continued. Hopeful anticipation mixed with a healthy dose of fear was evident on each and every face. _ Let this work,_ he implored silently, not necessarily of the gods, but of any omnipotent power that might be guiding them along their journey.

"Thirty five seconds."

His eyes came to rest on his son. They all had much at stake but Lee had the most. The love of his life - the mother of his child was out there somewhere and this step they were about to take either brought them closer to her or threw them back out into the darkness, completely lost as to how to proceed.

"Twenty five seconds."

Lee looked scared. There was no mistaking it. On the outside he carried himself like the proper soldier, stoic, calm ... but his eyes told the true story of what he was feeling inside. Adama laid a hand on his shoulder for a moment, offering as much comfort as he could.

"Fifteen seconds."

Laura Roslin's hand slid into his own, unobtrusively hidden by the planning table. She squeezed and he returned it, giving her a quick glance and smile, no more than what would be expected of him in his role as Admiral. She'd wanted to be on Galactica for the trip through the portal and Adama had agreed it was the best place for her. Aside from wanting her there for personal reasons, it made sense to have the two of them - head of the military and head of the civilian government, together during this risky move. If things took a turn for the strange and unusual, as they too often did, and the fleet was separated, it was best to have them together to decide how to proceed.

Of course the civilians might not have much in the way of help then ... but they were dead in the water without Galactica anyway if the cylons followed them. If not ... well they'd had a democratic election before, it could be done again.

"Five seconds."

He looked around the room at his officers.

Tigh - worried, watchful ... more so now that he only had one eye, as if the one remaining had to do double duty to his charges.

"Four."

Dee - calm cool exterior. His eyes, briefly landing on Lee's back showed the hurt within however.

"Three."

Gaeta - calm and unruffled as always. If ever he wore his emotions on his sleeve ... well Adama had never seen it.

"Two."

Helo - hopeful, optimistic. Always the one who believed in the impossible. That was good - someone had to be a believer.

"One."

His eyes involuntarily traveled up to the dradis screen, always the shepherd, watching to make sure his flock followed him safely.

"Mark."

**oooooooooooooooooooo**

Lee's insides had that all-too-familiar nauseous feeling as they jumped through the portal. When the moment passed his mind began to clear and normal thought returned. His first thought was for Clea - that horrible feeling that accompanied FTL jumps must be awfully confusing and disturbing to those too young to understand the discomfort was only momentary.

His second thought - why had they jumped at all? The FTL drive hadn't been spun up and all they were planning on doing was going through a group of stars, slowly so the fleet would all stay together.

"Sir, the FTL engines ..." Gaeta began.

"I know Mr. Gaeta," Adama interrupted, an angry, confused look on his face. "Where the hell are we? And did everyone come with us?"

"Checking sir." Gaeta's face was the closest it ever came to looking embarrassed. He prided himself on being able to know what the Admiral wanted before he spoke, and having the Admiral demand answers before he'd got them was something that pained him.

"Twenty two, twenty three ... twenty eight. yes sir, everyone is accounted for."

"Lieutenant ... Dee," the Admiral said uncomfortably. He'd never grown used to calling her 'Lieutenant Adama'. And now that it appeared the marriage was dissolving, though no formal papers had been signed, he felt sure it was a title that would only embarrass and pain her. "Report?"

"All ships accounted for. No injuries, no damage."

"We seem to have made it through safely," Tigh said gruffly.

"It would appear so," Adama agreed carefully. "Now the question is, where did that portal take us?"

Gaeta shuffled the star charts around, talking quietly with the science officer beside him. His voice became louder, excited, and he began to gesticulate wildly.

"Sir, I think ... the charts match this system ... the large ringed planet, the small outer planets ... the one with the large spot ..." He paused dramatically. "I think we've found Earth."

Adama walked towards him. "Are you _sure_?" he asked, almost harshly.

"See for yourself Admiral."

The two of them pored over the pages, mumbling to themselves. Lee wanted to join them, to make absolutely sure they were there before getting his hopes up. _ Too late,_ his mind sang out as his heart began to race madly, pulse beating in his throat. His feet were rooted to the spot though - he couldn't seem to move a muscle. Couldn't even blink.

After several minutes conferencing quietly with Gaeta, Adama walked slowly back to the centre of the room and picked up the phone, nodding wordlessly at Dee to open a comm channel.

"This is the Admiral. I'm happy to report that we all made it through the portal safely. And I'm also happy to report that our journey is nearly over. We've found Earth."

**TBC**


	20. Tapestry

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...'**

**Chapter Twenty - Tapestry**

_'Because you're free, this time, don't be scared of who you are ...'_

_The wind was soft and gentle on her face, it's warm fingers tickling her as it pulled the loose strands from her ponytail to frame her face as if with spun gold itself. She could feel the warm sun adding to the pinkness of her cheeks, already rosy from the stress of the extra life she was carrying inside her. Her gaze traveled down to the swell of her stomach. The life inside was already asserting it's personality - his personality, for she was sure it was a boy, by kicking and squirming constantly. She laid a gentle hand on it, feeling the earth move. The was no way to describe the supremely perfect utter joy she felt. It was as though love was flowing through her veins instead of blood, suffusing her body with the sustaining nourishment it needed._

_The silence of her reflections was interrupted by laughter. His and hers - the two people she loved more than life itself. The girl's long platinum pigtails sailed behind her as she ran on small, slender legs, shrieking happily as her father chased her through the tall grass. He was the picture of utter perfection - not just physically but emotionally as well. His blue eyes danced with joy and there was a beautifully uncomplicated smile lighting his face and making it shine like a god's._

_He glanced over at her and their eyes met, sharing all of the past, present and future - all eternity to come in that second of perfect connection. No words ever need be said between them again, though they both knew how much the words meant._

_"All you needed was to be patient my child," the Wise One said with a smile as he strolled up beside her. "Your suffering was not in vain. I promised you would have a happy life from now on and you shall."_

_She looked at him warmly, a smile of unspeakable gratitude on her face. _

_The other gods looked on in contentment, the Adama and Roslin gods sitting together on the hill, the Lee and Kara gods standing hand in hand just inside the forest and the one remaining standing alone some distance away, surveying it all with a satisfied eye._

Her eyes fluttered and opened, the warm sunshine caressing her like a lover's arms. She smiled, remembering the dream. It was the best she'd ever had, even beating out _those_ dreams she used to have of Lee ...

Despair hit her like a punch in the gut.

It wasn't going to happen this way. She had to sacrifice her life in order to save Clea's. Lee and their daughter might live happily ever after but Kara wouldn't be around to see it, nor to bear another of Lee's children.

She fell to her knees and wept.

Finally she had a reason to live. A reason to care. A reason to move past the torture of her past and not repeat those mistakes in the future. But it couldn't happen. Not unless she was willing to let Clea die. No mother could do that to her child. Even Kara's own mother wouldn't have been willing to let her daughter die without stepping in to stop it.

Would she?

"It doesn't matter child. You have to let the past go."

Her eyes, wet with sorrow, continued to focus on the grass below her. "How do you always know what I'm thinking?" she asked curiously, voice unsteady.

"I created you child. I knew what you would look like before you were born. I know your thoughts before you even have them."

She whirled to face him. "Do you know all that about everyone? Or is it just me?" she asked, brows furrowed with anger.

"Everyone."

"So none of us have any privacy." She blushed, remembering some of the less-than-moral thoughts she'd had about certain people.

"It's not a crime to think those thoughts child. But it is your _choice_ as to whether or not you turn your thoughts into actions. It is true I can tap into all of my children's thoughts but I mostly choose not to. I prefer to sit back and watch the pattern unfold as you all weave your part in the great tapestry of life. I do however pay more careful attention to you. Your thread runs through the entire fabric of life and binds everything else together."

"Great. So you're saying I'm the most important person alive."

"No, you're the most important person who ever lived."

Her jaw dropped open. There were no words to respond to that.

**oooooooooooooooo**

"We did it. We did it. We found our way to Earth."

Her giddy enthusiasm was infectious and Adama found himself closing his arms around Laura Roslin and grinning widely before he was aware of having moved. A few moments later he cleared his throat and loosened his grip, cheeks warming as she pulled away.

"Congratulations everyone," he said gruffly. "You have all pulled more than your weight, gone over and above the call of duty and done far more than I could ever have asked of any of you. You've supported me and helped keep the human race alive - if nothing else, the cylons ahve learned we are a force to be reckoned with." He lifted his head proudly. "We don't quit. Not ever!" CIC echoed for a moment with the power of his words.

The the sound of one person clapping broke the stillness.

It was Lee Adama.

Laura Roslin looked at him, nodded graciously and began to clap along with him. Within moments all of the CIC had erupted in applause.

Adama swallowed heavily a few times, hoping no one could see him blinking back the tears. He cleared his throat again. "We may have completed the task and reached our goal but the journey is not ended yet. The journey of life has barely begun, even for us old folks." He glanced at Tigh, who smirked, looking strangely like Starbuck. "We have the beginning of a new life ahead of us and each and every one of us will have to struggle to find where we fit in. But I have faith that we all will. Earth is here, and against all odds we found it." He paused and took a deep breath, prelude to continuing his speech but the door to the CIC flew open unexpectedly. Sam Anders stood there, Clea in his arms.

Lee paled.

It was like the next exchange was in slow motion.

"Mr Anders. What are you doing here? Civilians are not permitted in restricted areas of the ship." Adama's voice was chilly.

"Yes sir. I know sir."

Lee watched sam grovel, behaviour he would never expected of him. Something was wrong. It took a moment before Sam's eyes met his and he could see what it was.

_Fear._

Sam was afraid. But of what?

"There's something wrong with Clea," he continued on. "I think you need to see Admiral. And Major Adama as well."

Sam was obviously striving hard to follow protocol. _ 'Frak it man, something is wrong with this kid'_ was more the type of thing he'd normally say.

Lee didn't hesitate. A whole battalion of cylon basestars would have to do their best to stop him from attending to his daughter when something was wrong with her. He strode quietly over to Sam and took Clea in his arms. She cooed and smiled at her daddy as his strong arms enveloped her in love. In the background Lee could hear his father talking quietly, then he and Roslin came over to him.

"In the wardroom," Adama said tersely.

They all filed in wordlessly, the Admiral shutting the door behind them. "What is the meaning of this?" he said, his demanding gaze coming to rest on Sam's scared face.

"It's Clea sir, she's ..."

" ... warm. Hot actually," Lee finished, feeling her body heat through her clothes and realizing her back was burning hot.

"So she's got a fever. Take her to Doc Cottle."

"No, _look_ at her," Sam said, voice wavering. "Take a look at her back."

Lee leaned against the wardroom table and sat Clea on it gently, removing her shirt as he held her up.

Roslin took a step back involuntarily.

Adama's mouth hung open.

Sam quavered in fear.

Lee ... didn't know how he should respond.

The spots on Clea's back - the mole and freckle pattern, were glowing with a bright orange-red light. It was pulsing quickly and Lee could feel it was in time with her heartbeat.

"What the hell is that?" Roslin's voice, fear-filled, was deadly quiet.

Lee went into defensive-reactionary mode. "How should I know?"

"Is she a cylon?"

"How could she be? I'm not a cylon and neither is Kara."

"Do we know that for certain?"

Lee fixed her with an accusatory glare. "Cottle gave us both the all-clear."

Adama cleared his throat. "Let's not jump to conclusions or start accusing each other of things."

Roslin glanced at him angrily. Of course he would take his son's side.

"I'm not taking sides," Adama said evenly, answering her thoughts and meeting all of their eyes one by one. "I just want to get to the truth." He stopped at Roslin and his eyes held hers. "She's my granddaughter," he said quietly, appealingly. "We have to make sure not to act rashly before we understand the situation."

Roslin nodded, grey eyes regarding him enigmatically.

Adama turned back to face Lee. "Take her back to quarters and keep an eye on her. Both of you." His gaze flicked to Sam and back. "I don't want the whole of CIC paralyzed by this. The President and I will take care of business."

Adama and Roslin left the room, two pairs of knowing blue eyes following them out.

"Are they ...?" Sam asked, not finishing the thought.

"I think so," Lee answered, eyes looking straight ahead. "My father's never said anything but ... I'm pretty sure ..."

"Hmm."

They both turned to face one another at the same moment, eyes meeting before jointly drifting down to regard Clea, who was beginning to fuss.

"What's the matter sweetheart?" Lee asked quietly, feeling slightly embarrassed at his use of the affectionate term in front of the other man.

She continued to cry, not loudly and insistently like her cry of hunger, but as though something was upsetting her. Something she wanted to tell them but couldn't.

She grew warmer in Lee's arms and began to sweat.

"She's getting hotter - I think we need to take her to the Doc," Lee said worriedly.

"But the Admiral said ..."

"Frak that! If she's sick she needs a doctor." Lee's tone brooked no further argument. Neither did his icy blue eyes.

Sam opened the hatch and they took off down the corridor, Lee walking quickly to keep up with Sam's longer strides. Clea's cries got louder with each step.

"Hold on little girl," it'll be okay," Lee said, planting a quick kiss on her fuzzy head.

Her wails suddenly reached an ear-piercing pitch and Lee stopped dead to see his daughter glowing like a firework on Caprican Federation Day. She screeched one last time and wriggled in his arms as a blinding light, white and hot, shone out of her, forcing both men's eyes shut.

When the pain behind Sam's eyes lessened, he ventured to open them a crack. What he saw left him speechless.

Clea looked like an angel.

People often said that about children, particularly little girls, but this was different. She had a beautifully serene smile on her face and there was a golden halo surrounding her.

"Lee" he said breathlessly. "Just _look_ at her."

He opened his eyes and the air was sucked right out of his lungs. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, hands down. She was gorgeous - a perfect little angel.

And she was his.

"Lee, _her back_."

The urgency in Sam's voice pulled his attention back to reality immediately. What he saw made his blood run cold.

"The birthmark ... the freckles, they're gone!" Sam's voice was full of wonder, as though he'd seen a miracle and was trying to absorb it's implications.

Lee stood as if dumbstruck. No words were coming. Nothing.

_The pattern is no longer necessary. She has shown the way as she was born to do and now her destiny is fulfilled._

The words came out of his head, as if someone inside was speaking them to him - reminding him of a truth he'd long forgotten. If it was even possible his blood grew a few degrees cooler. Not understanding what was happening was something Lee had never liked, and now he was more confused than ever.

And more than just a little afraid.

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

He watched her as she slept. They all did. She was too precious not to be monitored.

She was restless, sleeping fitfully. Obviously dreaming.

She murmured in her sleep, sounds, almost-words ... Occasionally one of them could make out a name from the unconsciously spoken syllables but they all kept their thoughts to themselves.

She began to toss and turn, lines marring the easy beauty of her relaxed face. She was in pain. Her twisting movements spelled that out as clearly as if she'd said the words aloud.

The god who held Lee's shape made as if to step forward. The Wise One's arm stopped him.

"You must not."

"But ..." The protest fizzled away. He knew as well as the rest what Kara Thrace's destiny was. Had always been. She'd been programmed from a very early age to expect pain and endure it. But he still found it difficult to watch the one who looked like his mate suffering. His Kara took a step forwards and slipped a hand into his.

"It'll be okay" she whispered, a peacefulness and acceptance in her voice something the human Lee would never have heard before from that beautiful mouth. She hoped that the human Kara would come to that sense of peace and acceptance eventually as well, now that her suffering was nearly at an end.

It would make her a much happier person.

The tossing and turning grew more frantic and Kara began to whimper, eyes fluttering open and shut. The gods watched, eyes beginning to squint as a light began to emanate from her, growing brighter and brighter by the second.

Kara's eyes flew open, darkened by fear and pain.

The Wise One raised a hand quickly, palm pointed down at her shaking form. "Peace" he said, in the first voice she'd heard upon her arrival - the one that had seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The one that had seemed to move the Earth with it's power.

Immediately she felt a calmness, a stillness - an inner peace such as she'd never felt before, though the moments after Clea's birth had come very close. She watched as she herself became a supernova - lighting the night as if with the raw power of a thousand suns. Her body grew warm, then hot, then felt as though she were a candle, melting in the heat of her own flame.

A sudden slicing pain hit her back ... then it was gone, leaving her in a glow of warmth, perhaps only a few candles worth now.

She rose and stood before the gods, all five familiar faces and the Wise One. "I am whole again."

He nodded assent. "Your spirit is here, within you child. You've been reunited."

"Is it time?" she asked of him in a quieter, gentler voice, sadness shadowing the supreme beauty of her angelic face.

"Soon" he replied carefully.

"May I ... may I see them first?" she asked, eyes wide with sorrow though still dry.

"Of course," he answered kindly. "They have arrived but not landed yet. I will direct them here." He gestured at the field Kara had first woken in, big enough to land the immense battlestar that used to be her home. _Used to be_ she thought, throat choking up with sorrow and despair. _ Never again ..._

She swallowed with a large gulp.

At least she was getting to say goodbye.

**TBC**


	21. The Meeting

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...'**

**Chapter Twenty-One - The Meeting**

_'Every time you think of home remember that you're not alone, and we'll be with you heart and soul ... wherever you are.'_

"I'm going down there."

"No, you are not." The words were evenly measured, spaced far apart for effect.

The determined set of Lee's jaw told Laura Roslin it was going to be a nasty fight. Neither Adama was willing to back down. She decided it was smarter to keep her mouth shut.

"I'm going and you can't stop me."

"I'm your superior officer and your father. On both counts I outrank you."

"Oh no you don't!" Lee was outraged. His eyes were like lasers and his cheeks burned with anger. "One, if you're my superior officer that means you're more valuable than I am so_ you_ should be the one to stay back. And two, I'm thirty years old - I don't need you treating me like I'm a little kid. I can make my own decisions."

Roslin watched as they stared each other down, hostility crackling in the air like a live wire. Maybe it was time to step in ... before things that couldn't be taken back were said.

She took a step forward and put a tentative hand on Lee's arm. "It's only because he worries about you," she said softly.

His eyes turned her way, hard as sapphires still, then they softened. "I know." He turned back to face his father. "I know," he repeated. "But you know why I have to go down there."

"I understand. Trust me Lee, I understand. But if there are any hostile forces ... well, I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"Are you taking a marine detachment down then?"

"I was thinking one or two perhaps. Just for a little added protection."

"Let it be me and Sam then. He's almost done training and I'm easily as good with a gun as any of them."

"He's got a point," Roslin said, giving Adama 'the look'.

He gave her one right back - obviously an all-too familiar one as she rolled her eyes.

"Let him come Bill. With two strong, fit young men like your son and Mr. Anders I'm sure we'll be well protected."

"_We'll?_ You're going to let her go down with you and not _me_?" Lee's anger, stoked by her words, blazed again.

Adama sighed resignedly. This wasn't going at all well. And the plan had to be finalized now.

"Fine. You and Mr. Anders will escort us on our first foray onto the planet. Meet us in the hangar bay in half an hour."

Lee nodded brusquely. "I'll get Sam."

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

She stood, fidgeting more than usual, beside him, watching as the massive ship orbited the planet. She was impatient for them to land but she knew protocol demanded they do at least five full rotations in order to scan the planet to see what danger might be lurking below. For all she knew there could be many. She'd only spent a couple of days here and _yet had only seen perhaps half a mile of land and not a single person besides the gods. The gods. You've looked on the faces of the gods Kara. Scriptures say no one can look on the faces of the gods without perishing._ Well she'd seen the gods ... except for one, and soon she would perish because of it. The thought hung heavy on her heart. She was glad that Lee and Clea would live but endlessly sorrowful that she wouldn't be there with them.

"Do not be sad child. The future is not written in stone." His warm voice enveloped her in a hug and heated her chilled body. What if something had happened to Lee? Or Clea? What if Cottle hadn't fixed what was wrong with her and she'd fallen sick?

"Don't borrow trouble. You've only been away from them a few days. I'm sure everything is fine."

"This mind reading thing is a little disconcerting," she said impatiently. "Besides, if you see-all, know-all and can read everyone's thoughts, you already _know_ if everything's alright don't you?"

He nodded in acquiescence. "Like I said I try to stay out of my children's minds. I see the tapestry of life unfold in it's riot of colour and pattern, ever-changing as you make choices that take it down unexpected pathways. It is refreshing for me to watch you grow and evolve. So I try to leave you be and not interfere as much as I can."

Kara nodded meditatively. "Do things sometimes surprise you?"

"Very often child. But when you've lived as long as I have and seen as much as I've seen, it's a wonderful thing to be surprised."

"Even if the surprise isn't good?"

"Even if the surprise isn't good," he affirmed. "It only makes my life more interesting to see how you face the challenges you create for yourselves."

"You must have gotten years worth of entertainment from my life alone then," she muttered, wishing as always, that she could forget about the past and not constantly be reminded of her mistakes.

"The past isn't something to be shameful about my child. It is only there to show us how not to make the same mistakes. I could erase the past of each and every one of you but then no one would learn and they would just keep repeating their mistakes over and over."

"Guess I needed a bigger 2x4 than most then," Kara said ruefully, a smile pulling her mouth wide. "I never seemed to get it."

"Ah but you did eventually. Eventually you made the right choice and so you and the rest of your people are here now."

Kara worked to keep the shiver she felt inside. All of humanity had depended on _her_ for survival - she, the biggest frak-up the universe had ever known. It would have been laughable had it not scared the living daylights out of her.

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

"Come in."

Lee stepped through the door quietly. It was odd, knocking at his own hatch, but since he began sharing his quarters he'd had to learn privacy was paramount.

Kristy was there, taking care of Clea; Lucas was sleeping. It was fortunate that the two children had seemingly arranged their schedules such that Kristy never had one without the other sleeping or just being peaceful and happy. Lee was glad - after volunteering herself to do something no one could really ask another to do, she deserved having it easy.

He'd just opened his mouth to ask if she knew where Sam was when the door to the washroom area opened and he stepped out.

"Sam."

"Hey Lee." The two men exchanged a glance. Something that had never been there between them before was not there. Or perhaps it was the lack of something. The underlying animosity and hostility that had always been lurking just below the civilized exterior was gone. In it's place was the shared experience they'd had with Clea.

"How's she doing?"

Sam and Kristy both nodded. "Very well," she answered.

Sam walked over beside her and stroked the infant's pink cheek, arm brushing against Kristy's as he did so. Lee's eyes darted between them. No looks or touches, no sign of anything more, yet he felt the electricity spark jumping from one to the other. He recognized it - goodness knew he'd felt it often enough himself.

Well that was good. Maybe Sam would get over losing Kara more easily if he found someone else to care for. He wished Dee would find someone as well. He hadn't acknowledged it but he'd seen her sad, quiet looks whenever he'd been around her. He didn't like it but there wasn't much he could do. That was her way - to be a quiet, creeping ghost, walking around sadly and making him feel guilty. He found it hard to believe that he'd once found that quiet passive-agressive behaviour preferable to Kara's passionate outbursts of emotion.

"I need you. We've got a job to do."

Their eyes met again and Sam nodded, all business.

"Give me two minutes and I'll be ready."

This time it was Lee's turn to nod as he stepped aside to let Sam pass. He walked the three steps it took to get to Kristy and gently took Clea out of her arms, nuzzling her into his neck.

"Is everything okay?" she asked tentatively.

Brown met blue and Lee gave her a little smile. "Everything is fine. We've found Earth and we just want to take a few precautions to make sure we're safe."

"I hope you find her soon."

"So do I." He snuggled Clea closer and began whispering sweet baby nothings about how beautiful and sweet she was. She bore it all happily and cooed back at him.

As the bathroom door opened and Sam's gaze met Kristy's, Lee could feel the words pass between them.

_I want that too._

_I'm here Sam. You and I can make a life together. Be careful and come back to me._

One more quick kiss and Lee placed Clea back in Kristy's arms. He turned to face the other man, clad in black from head to toe, weapon holstered by his side.

"Let's go."

**ooooooooooooooooooooo**

They stood somewhat away from the Wise One as the ship landed, soft as could be in the field.

"How do you suppose our counterparts would react if they were to see us?" the Roslin-god asked the man beside her.

"Mine wouldn't say a word," the Adama-god replied. "But a million questions would be running through his head."

"And mine?" she asked, linking arms with him and smiling.

"Yours would be afraid, outraged and flattered. Probably in that order."

She laughed, joy lighting her face like a beacon. "You're probably right."

"I'm always right," he said with a straight face, not missing a beat.

She squeezed his arm and stood closer, watching as four figures strode slowly off the big vessel. "I wonder if we'll find out," she said quietly, recognizing the flowing auburn hair of her human counterpart blowing in the light breeze.

The Wise One stood straighter, holding his arms straight out for a moment, signaling them to move out of sight. The five of them backed off into the trees, becoming all but invisible. He joined them a moment later, leaving Kara alone to face them.

The Lee and Kara gods stood off to the side alone, fingers squeezing together in anticipation of the reunion between their counterparts. If what they felt for each other was anywhere near as close as what the gods felt ... well it would be a happy reunion indeed.

The fifth stood apart, as always, the one leftover as the others paired off. Most of the time it suited him - he was a bit of a loner by nature, never letting even those close to him get too close. HIs human counterpart had inherited that particular trait.

Kara stepped forwards when she recognized them, her eyes lighting up like a blazing fire of green.

"Lee!" she yelled out, already running towards him, blonde hair flying in the wind.

"Kara!" Lee dropped his gun to the ground and took off at a dead run.

"Lee!" Adama yelled after his son but it was no good. Lee only had eyes and ears for Kara.

They met halfway and embraced like they hadn't seen each other in years.

"I missed you," she whispered in his ear.

"I missed you too," he answered quietly. "I missed you too."

She captured his lips and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. As indeed for her there might not be. It was how she'd wanted to respond after the Dance but couldn't. Now he was hers and she was his and everyone knew it. This was no longer forbidden.

When it seemed like the universe had lived to it's end and time had stopped, they pulled apart and just stared at one another, no words needing to be said to speak the words in their hearts.

**TBC**

**A/N: **I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who've read this story and stuck with it from the beginning. I especially want to thank those who don't leave reviews or comments - I answer those who do in person most of the time, but the rest of you I can't thank any other way. This story has gone longer than I had intended it but it's nearly at an end now. I really appreciate all of you who've stuck with it since January - thank you so much!


	22. Home

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...' **

**Chapter Twenty-Two - Home**

_'Guide this soul to heaven's door, show me where tomorrow lies, I'm waiting to be home ...'_

Adama stepped forward.

"Kara."

He was a man of few words, at least when it came to personal matters. She knew firsthand how long-winded and preachy he could be when he was in a mood though.

The word - only her name, told her everything he wasn't saying.

He loved her.

He'd missed her.

He was ecstatic she was still alive.

He'd accepted that she and Lee were making a life together.

She smiled, blinking back the tears, for once at a loss for words.

He moved forwards, grabbed her and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. "Your daughter is going to be happy to see you," he said quietly.

"She's okay?" she asked breathlessly.

Adama glanced between Lee and Sam. "She was in good hands," he said warmly.

Kara's eyes met Sam's and she smiled, a trace of sadness for what might-have-been gleaming there. She pulled out of Adama's arms and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him firmly.

"Thank you," she whispered into his broad chest.

He buried his face in her hair as he hugged back, experiencing one last time her complete take-over of his senses. He could feel her heart beating, quick staccato pulses, hear her deep breathing as she strove to keep her tears in check, smell the fresh air and sunlight smell of her skin and see her flaxen hair as it blew into his eyes. He could almost taste the sweetness of her lips and was tempted to tilt her head back so he could, but quickly stopped himself as he remembered she was no longer his. A vision of Kristy came into his mind and his heart began to race.

"You're welcome," he whispered back. "I'm glad you're okay."

She pulled back a fraction and smiled up at him. "Better now that you're all here."

Sam felt rather than saw Lee coming up behind him so he stepped away, holding his weapon as he'd been taught, not aimed but in a stance of readiness should there be danger around.

"Kara." Adama's voice had grown business-like. "We need to talk."

She linked hands with Lee. "I know you've got questions. So do I," she laughed. "I'm still not quite sure what's going on here myself. All I know is that we're together, here, now and I want to see my daughter."

Lee burst out laughing and squeezed her hand. "I knew you would. But we had to be careful in case there were hostile forces here."

Kara nodded. She didn't always follow protocol but she knew the rules inside out and backwards. "Can I see her now?"

In the split second before he acquiesced another voice spoke in her mind.

_You can't go back._

"Of course. Come on." He tugged at her but she held back.

"I can't ... I ... can you bring her out here?"

They all looked at her with the same look - utter confusion and suspicion.

"You can't go on board?" Lee said, as if reading her mind. He'd always had the ability to do that.

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

"I ... I can't say. Please Lee, let me see Clea."

Lee saw Adama shake his head almost imperceptibly. The natural skeptic in his father was easily roused and Kara's lack of explanation evidently troubled him. He exchanged a look with Roslin, the two obviously in accord.

He himself had always tended towards following rules and protocols - he believed that they'd been set up for specific reasons and that it was best to just follow. But following rules and Kara just didn't meld together - he'd learned that the hard way. And since he'd decided to let go and follow his heart, he'd been successful in everything he'd done with her.

And above and beyond everything else he trusted Kara.

"I'll go get her," he said softly, squeezing her hand quickly before letting go.

"You will not." Adama's voice was firm as he stood in Lee's pathway.

"Kara is Clea's mother. She needs to see her."

"Perhaps later when we figure out what's going on. And why she's not being honest with us."

Kara opened her mouth to explain but no sound came out. It was as if there was something blocking the knowledge - she could remember everything the gods had said and done but couldn't get it to come out.

"You are not stopping me. Clea is our daughter and you can't come between us." Lee's eyes were like cold steel as he raised his gun and leveled it at his father's chest.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

The anger and sheer fury emanating from their stand-off hit Kara like a powerful wave. She literally stepped backwards as the rage seemed to stab her through the heart.

"Please" she whispered though no one heard her over Adama's barked command.

"Anders - take that man into custody now!"

Sam took one step forward involuntarily then stopped, a stricken look crossing his face as he looked at both Lee and Kara's faces. Were Clea his daughter he would blow his way through anyone he had to to get to her.

But he'd spent the bgetter part of a year being trained as a marine - the right arm of the Admiral so to speak. It had taken a lot for him to learn to listen and obey orders from others without question. But he couldn't help but question this. He still loved Kara and knew that the time away from Clea had to have hurt her terribly. He couldn't be the one to prolong that. And Lee - he'd despised the man for a long time after he found out Kara's true feelings, but in the hardships they'd suffered together he'd grown to respect the man, and dare he even think it? called him a friend.

"No." He stepped forward to join Lee and trained his weapon on Adama as well. "I'm sorry sir but I can't let you keep Kara away from her child."

Lee threw him a quick look of gratitude for the support.

"Lee is going in there to get his daughter and coming back out, and no one is going to stop him."

Adama huffed angrily, standing down. "Frakking traitors," he mumbled. "You know this is only for your safety."

_You're doing the right thing Sammy. _ The words seemed to come from right inside his head and Sam wondered, for a scattered second before he refocused, if he was cracking up.

"Good luck," he called out as Lee holstered his weapon and started walking towards Galactica. "I hope no one gets hurt."

Lee turned and look back at him briefly before continuing. He knew Sam was including Kristy in that 'no one'. "I'll see tot it no one does," he said firmly.

Sam nodded his thanks to Lee's already retreating back.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

"I'm not trying to keep secrets Admiral, but I can't tell you. I just _can't._"

Adama watched her narrowly for a moment to try to determine if she was telling the truth. Her eyes were open, frank and she was gazing at him imploringly. Something deep inside him told him she was on the level and though his mind was still skeptical his heart said he should trust her.

"So you can't tell me the truth. Are you physically unable to speak it?"

She shook her head. "I could tell you some things but I don't know that much myself. Some things I just can't make myself say. The truth will be made clear to you soon. It would probably be best not to come from me anyway, even if I _could_ tell you."

"Can you give me any hints?" he asked, not expecting an answer.

"The truth is in the scriptures," she said solemnly. "I've seen the gods and I know what humanity's destiny is."

Adama studied her again. She was speaking the truth. Or at least what she believed to be the truth. The gods? Everyone knew you couldn't look on the face of the gods without dying. If Kara really had, it meant ... He took a deep breath. It meant she _did_ have some sort of special destiny.

He looked at her through enlightened eyes and he could see it - she bore the weight of the worlds on her shoulders. She was doing a pretty good job of hiding it but now that he knew to look more carefully he could see it.

He nodded knowingly. "I'll wait then."

**ooooooooooooooooooo**

When Lee returned, barely five minutes later, Kara and Adama were talking. He could tell from afar that neither was happy but it appeared the conversation wasn't as strained as it could have been.

As he approached Kara's back a chill ran down his spine. She was wearing a sundress with a halter-top that left her back mostly bare.

The mole and freckle pattern was gone.

He stopped a few paces away. "Kara" he said softly.

She spun around and the way her eyes glowed when she saw Clea shamed the sun at it's brightest. She took her out of Lee's arms and hugged her tightly, tears squeezing out of her eyes as she closed them, and spilling down her cheeks onto the infants fuzzy head. Lee closed his arms around both of them and buried his face in Kara's hair. Whispered words were exchanged but close as Adama was to them, he couldn't quite make them out.

Roslin stood a little apart, observing everything silently. Kara's pale, now unmarked back hadn't escaped her eagle-eyes and she wondered exactly how it was possible both she and her daughter could have undergone such a change. Her suspicion that Kara was a cylon had disappeared, and now she was beginning to reach out for the faith she'd had since learning of the propechy a few years earlier. A faith that had been waning of late. Certain words kept running through her mind though -

_'The five, who were annointed by the gods to watch over the temple shall guide the wayward sheep on their journey home. The road is long and winding but the chosen one holds the key to the universe in the palm of her hand.'_

The five - could that include herself, Adama, Lee and Kara? It sure seemed like it - they were the ones who had led humanity to Earth. But who was the Fifth? And what did 'watching over the temple' mean?

The road is long and winding - well that had certainly been true. But who was the chosen one? Was it Kara Thrace? Roslin was still skeptical enough not to believe the first theory that came into her mind, but it sure looked that way, given what had happened during the previous week.

_It is time to bring them to me_. The words caressed Kara's mind like a gentle, fatherly touch. She gave Clea one more kiss and a hug and walked over to sam.

"Take care of her for me please. I have to go." Sam's eyebrows turned downwards in a frown.

_He must come with you_. She stopped, confused. "But ..." _He is one of us._ Her eyes widened. "Sammy?" _Bring them both with you. She is a part of what is to come_. Kara shivered and held her daughter closer. "Please don't let her die, you promised," she murmured.

_I will keep that promise. But she is a part of what led you here. She must be here for it's completion._

"Who are you talking to?" Roslin asked curiously. Kara didn't answer.

"Kara, what the hell is going on?" Sam demanded, feeling uneasy at her apparent conversation with herself. Was it possible she was hearing voices too?

"You have to come with me," she said, voice calm and unemotional. Almost scarily so. "All of you." She nodded at the two Adamas and Roslin.

"Come where?" Adama's suspicion was evident.

"You'll see when we get there."

"That's not good enough."

Kara turned back to look at them. "It'll have to be. I promise you no one will get hurt."

Lee stepped up beside her and put an arm around his family in an unspoken gesture of support. Roslin took a deep breath and took a step forwards.

"Oh hell ..." Sam shook his head and started walking.

Kara's eyes fixed themselves on Adamas. "Well Admiral? Are you willing to trust me?"

His heart and mind warred for a few minutes till faith in the woman he'd always loved like a daughter returned. He gave a single nod, no words needed.

"Come."

Kara, Lee and Clea led the way to the forest, the others following closely behind, each face a mixture of trepidation and curiosity.

As a form became visible through the trees, Lee held back, as if instinctively knowing Kara had to go first. They all stopped at her cue, perhaps twenty yards away from the shimmering figure before them. As they watched in awe, the shape began to take form and became human-like - the person Kara had become used to seeing and still had to remind herself was a god. He looked like a kindly old man - perhaps a grandfather figure whose memories of the past were all he had left to share.

His eyes came to rest on Kara and they twinkled merrily. "You have done well child."

A small smile in response was all she could muster. As happy as she was at being reunited with her family and friends, and at his praise, she knew it would all end soon. The journey was over.

It was time for the sacrifice.

**TBC**


	23. Heart and Soul

**'The Stars In Your Hand ...'**

**Chapter Twenty-Three - Heart and Soul**

_'Whenever the ones you love seem far away, every time you think of home, remember that you're not alone, we'll be with you heart and soul ... wherever you are.'_

Adama looked the man up and down several times then opened his mouth to speak.

Roslin beat him to it. "Who are you? _What_ are you?" she asked, echoing the very words Kara had used just a few days earlier.

The Wise One smiled, glancing from Roslin to Kara. The two were more similar than either of them would ever admit.

"I am God."

She took a faltering step back, the force of his words containing more substance than she'd expected them to.

"The one true God. The others serve me," he continued on, anticipating her questions. Her mind was much like Kara's and they often thought along the same lines. Difference was one had the benefit of the discipline and diplomacy, the other was still raw, untamed.

"The one true God? You mean ... what about the others ..." She was clearly confused.

"I am the One. The other Five serve me."

"So the other gods, Aurora, Titan ..." Adama put in.

" ... do not exist," the Wise One finished. "They are merely legends. Something the oldest of your people made up and the stories continued throughout the generations till these legendary figures became revered as gods."

"Who are the other Five?" Lee asked, finally finding his tongue.

_"You_ are," he said simply, watching their reactions before elucidating.

Four faces wore identical expressions, bewilderment mixed with disbelief.

"Come," he said over his shoulder in the powerful, everywhere-at-once voice. "Or rather, not _you,_ but those you were modeled after," he explained, as the gods Kara, Lee, Adama, Roslin and Anders stepped forward.

Lee's eyes widened and he glanced at Kara, noticing her lack of surprise.

Roslin gasped, covering her mouth with a delicate hand.

Adama looked pointedly at Kara. "This is what you weren't telling me?"

She nodded, watching him narrowly now. His response would determine how this was to go. He was battle-hardened and that had made shields behind which he hid his feelings but Kara knew him well.

He was rattled.

Their eyes stayed locked for a long while as unspoken words were exchanged.

No one broke the silence.

Eventually Kara nodded. "It wasn't my truth to reveal."

He nodded in return, a look of admiration surprising her. he turned to face the god before him. "So we were made to lead humanity to Earth?"

The Wise One nodded. "I made twelve tribes of humans, one for each of the constellations. They were left on their own to see how they survived, though they were merely children as far as evolution goes when I left them to their own devices. I gave them what they needed and planted a belief system into them - the gods they prayed to for everything, and let them evolve as they would with only minimal interference."

"What about the thirteenth?"

"They were a failsafe. I saw you grow as children do, pushing and pulling against authority, against each other ... against yourselves. No matter how I intervened, only a small touch here and there you understand, you kept heading towards self-destruction. So I created a failsafe - another set of human beings set apart from the rest, watched over by those I chose to be the guardians. I set in motion the events that brought you here - the scriptures were to give you clues. If you figured them out and all went as planned you would find your way here to join your brothers and sisters."

"So we've succeeded then, despite the cylons attempts to wipe us out." The Wise One's eyes turned to Sam, finally speaking his mind.

"That's a good point," Roslin interjected before he could voice a reply. "Did _you _create the cylons?"

He shook his head in answer. "No. They were your own doing. Probably your biggest step towards self-destruction."

"But we survived," Adama said, putting back on his warrior's mask. "At least some of us did."

"Precious few," the god said sadly. "I feel their loss keenly. Every one."

Roslin felt a pang of sorrow at his words. She too, keeper of the head count, had felt every loss though most of them she hadn't even known personally. She couldn't even imagine what it must be like losing something, _someone_ you'd created. _Must be like a parent losing a child,_ her subconscious whispered. She looked at Adama, then at Kara and Clea, understanding for the first time, at least a little, what it must have been like for them.

She looked back at the god, feeling as well as seeing the sorrow in his eyes.

"I've got a lot of questions," Adama began. "Starting with why _us_?"

"Why not you?" the Wise One countered, eyes twinkling now.

Adama huffed, unable to think of a good reply.

"It seemed fitting to have the same five guarding both sets of humans. And you all possess the qualities necessary to guide the others here."

"So who's the 'chosen one'? Is it Kara?" Roslin interrupted, unwilling to wait for him to spin the whole tale before learning the answers to her many questions.

He shook his head. "It is Clea."

There was stunned silence for a full minute. They'd all believed it had been Kara.

"And the son and daughter of Zeus?"

He nodded his white head at Lee and Kara.

"Chief was right," Roslin muttered under her breath.

"The fire of purity and the arrow of truth," the Wise One said softly. "When they came together they created The Chosen One."

"But ... the palm of her hand?"

He gave her a playfully chastising look. "Surely you can see her hand would be too small for the map," he said, a smile gracing his elderly face. "It wasn't meant to be taken literally."

Her face flamed redder than her hair. Her godly counterpart smiled in sympathy.

"Do you have any other questions?" he asked.

"Are we going to die now?" Adama asked, remembering the promise about those who looked on the face of the gods.

The old man shook his head. "I do not take lives, but for one. A sacrifice must be paid for passage to Earth."

"Haven't we sacrificed enough lives?" Sam demanded, stepping forwards. "Haven't enough people died needlessly? I've watched them die." He waved his arm behind him at the other four. "We've all watched people die. More than we care to remember!"

"I am not unsympathetic to that fact," he said kindly. "But Clea was meant to be the sacrifice. She was only created as the path, now that she is no longer needed her purpose in life has been fulfilled."

"No!"

Clea startled at the unison voices raised so close to her, Lee's being the loudest.

"She will not die," the Wise One said, putting a hand up to quell their loud protests. "Kara has offered her life in trade." He nodded once at her and she nodded back, knowing it was time.

She turned to Lee, tears pooling in her eyes. "Take care of her Lee. I know you'll take good care of her." Her voice broke on the last word and she buried herself in his neck, crying, as Clea was sandwiched between them.

Tears began to prickle at the back of Adama's eyes as he watched his son try not to cry. He heard them exchange words - his desperate and sorrowful, hers, quiet explanations.

"I can't let her die," she whispered. "I can't. You have to take care of her for me." She pressed her lips to the infants head, raining kisses over her then turned her attention to Lee, joining with him for a moment before pressing the baby into his arms and walking away.

"I'm ready" she said quietly, voice surprisingly even.

"Then come. We will go somewhere more private." The Wise One turned and began to walk away, Kara following.

Before she'd taken three steps, a voice stopped her in her tracks. "Stop!"

Adama had stepped forward. "You can't take her," he said firmly. "You can't separate a mother and child like that. Take me instead."

Kara spun around, eyes wide. "But sir ..."

He waved away her protest. "I won't let you do this Kara. Clea needs you. Lee needs you. _Humanity _needs you. You're young and strong, you'll have more children," he said recalling the vision he'd had and suddenly understanding what it was he had to do. "You and Lee are leaders, you'll raise your children to be leaders and they'll help keep humanity alive and thriving."

The Wise One nodded almost imperceptibly.

"But sir, you can't give your life for mine," she protested when he stopped to breathe.

He stepped forward and touched her face gently. "It's not just for you It's for the little wee baby girl who needs a mother more than she needs a grandfather. And I'm old, I've already lived most of my life. There's isn't much left to lose."

She caught the strained note in his voice and glanced over at Roslin who was choking back a sob.

Kara knew. She'd always known. What lay between them had always been there just simmering below the surface but it had been there just as surely as what had lain between her and Lee all this time.

"You can't do this," she whispered.

"I want to." He smiled, tears making his eyes glisten. he turned his head to face Roslin and nodded slightly, one tear breaking free and slowly tracking down his worn face.

She nodded back, grey eyes spilling forth a flood of silent tears in return.

He turned back to the Wise One. "I'm ready."

"No!" Sam stepped forward, towering above the much older man as he moved to stand beside him. "I can't let you do this."

"You would rather they take Kara?" Lee's words were venomous, designed to wound in the only way he knew how.

He'd watched the woman he loved step forward to sacrifice her life and had been frozen to the spot with fear and despair. Then, watching his father try to trade places with her had stirred up all sorts of feelings and emotions he normally kept locked inside, he'd wanted to step forward and stop it - not allow anyone he cared for to die needlessly. They could turn around, climb back into their ship and leave, Earth be damned. There were other places they could call home.

But he'd been unable to move. Rage, fear, despair ... they were all running rampant inside him as his blood boiled, and though only minutes earlier Sam had stood beside him in solidarity, he was now the one to bear the brunt of Lee's uncontrollable emotion.

Lee took the three steps forward that put him right in Sam's personal space. Had he been taller they might almost have been nose to nose. But though Lee was a good head shorter, he appeared no less able than the man he was willing to take on.

"Hell no!" Sam cried out, a look of outrage on his face. "Take me instead. I'd gladly give my life to save hers."

Kara's eyes stung. She'd never realized how much they'd cared for her. Sam had loved her but she'd never thought it had been enough to give his life for her. Adama had once said she was like a daughter to him, though that relationship had been strained ever since the debacle on New Caprica and it's repercussions aboard his ship. She knew Lee would gladly have given his life for her - he'd saved her plenty of times in firefights, putting himself between her and danger. And that had been before their love had been as strong as it was now. Clea was the only thing stopping him. She knew, even without looking at him, that his mind was busy trying to come up with another solution, one where no one had to die. That was Lee's style.

The Wise One's eyes widened. He hadn't anticipated this turn of events.

"No you can't," Lee said, something foreign in his voice and a strangely tender look in his eye. "You have a future Sam. People who need you."

Sam's eyes met his.

"She needs you Sam. They both do. Don't leave them."

"Waht about Kara?" His voice held a note of desperation. "I can't let her die."

"Maybe no one has to die," Lee said, looking over at the god. "Isn't there some other way? Some other sacrifice that could be made?"

He shook his head.

Roslin stepped forward, fire flashing from her eyes. "You made the rules - change them! These are all good people. Don't let anyone here die if it can be prevented."

"And that my dear, is why _you_ were put in charge," the Wise One said, eyes twinkling at her ire. "You always cut to the chase and don't allow any nonsense to get in the way."

"So you're saying this whole sacrifice thing was just a ruse?" Adama asked, feeling the heat creeping up his neck.

"No it was not a ruse. A sacrifice did have to be made. It has already. You have proven yourselves worthy - Kara was willing to sacrifice her life to save her daughter. You were willing to sacrifice your life for hers. Samuel was willing to sacrifice his life for both of you.

I created you as a race of children who were a family. One did not prize him or herself above the rest, and all worked for the common good. But as I said, you were merely children. I watched you grow into selfish, unkind beings who put material gain and pride above the well-being of your fellow man.

I saw the potential the cylons had for destroying you and how easy it was for them to infiltrate your society and convince those few in positions of power that doing what they wanted would help them gain more power and prestige. They preyed upon your greed, gluttony and secret desires and it worked - they conquered you. I let them, though with a wave of my hand I could have ended their very existence. I made sure the five of you survived to give those left a chance to find their way here to join their brothers and sisters. Only if you were able to put your prejudices, desires and selfishness aside could you work together to discover the answers you needed to make the journey.

And you did. Your sacrifice was to cast away your isolated existences and work together as a family again. To be a part of something bigger than yourselves. To care about others more than yourselves."

There was a long pause while they all digested his words.

"So, no one has to be sacrificed?" Kara asked eventually, voice small.

He nodded, smiling sympathetically at her, knowing all the anxiety she'd suffered.

Sh sighed happily and hugged Clea close, tears of relief spilling down her cheeks. Lee put his arms around her and hugged hard, Adama following closely behind. Sam and Roslin joined in the hug as well, not a dry eye in the group, including Clea who wasn't appreciating the claustrophobia.

"Thank you" they all whispered, nearly in unison.

His shaggy head dropped in a nod, staying there as his eyes closed, satisfied that his life was now complete.

**oooooooooooooooo**

She crept closer through the trees, feeling his overpowering presence before she saw him.

"Come my child," he said kindly.

Laura Roslin stepped forward.

"You have something to ask me." It was a question and yet not.

She nodded.

"Ask."

He'd grown much older in the few days since their arrival, looking much more feeble and frail. She suspected his life was nearly at an end. It saddened her.

"What happened to the cylons?" she asked without preamble. "Will they find us here or can we finally stop running?"

"I've got them held back. For a long while after the mass annihilation I let them be, watching as they followed you. But when you finally put all the clues together and were about to come through the portal I stopped them., allowing you to continue without disturbance.

"You said the other day that you could destroy them all with a wave of your hand."

"I can" he said simply.

"Then _would_ you?"

He began to laugh, a small chuckle at first but soon it became a rich, full belly laugh that felt as if it must be shaking the entire forest.

"I wondered if anyone would remember and think to ask. I should have known it would be you."

She smiled, blushing prettily.

He waved his hand in the air. "It is done. They will trouble you no more."

"Thank you," she said with heartfelt gratitude that was written all over her face. "Thank you."

"You are welcome child. Now please go - I have other business to attend to."

She nodded and headed back the way she'd come, thinking he looked even older than when the conversation had begun a few minutes earlier, if that was possible. _It won't be long now_, a voice in her mind spoke up. _ He's been hanging on, waiting for you to arrive. Now it is time for him to sleep._

Her eyes were wet as she left the forest.

**ooooooooooooooooo**

"You wanted to see me." The god who resembled Samuel T. Anders bowed low before the Wise One.

"Yes."

There was silence between them for a few moments.

"It is time for me to leave," the Elder said wearily, sighing heavily. The weight of the worlds, of civilizations had bowed his shoulders low.

The younger man shook his head. "Not yet. I'm sure you can still ..." He trailed off as the other held a hand up to stop him.

"I am old and weary. I desire rest. It is time for me to lay down, never to rise again."

"What shall we do without you?" There was no fear in the voice but the old man was sure he could detect a note of sorrow.

"_You_ will watch over them."

"_Me_? But surely the first ..."

"No. He has other priorities. They all do.You were kept separate and apart for a reason."

The young man's nostrils flared. "Is that why you only made five of us? And why I was the solitary one while the others paired off?"

The old man's white head nodded. "I could not tell in the beginning who was going to be the one left out but early on you showed yourself to be different form the rest. You have leadership qualities the others do not possess. And in addition? You are patient. Patience is the most important thing. You are not quick to action nor do you take sides."

The young man shrugged. "I just do what I think is best."

The Wise One stepped forward and laid both hands on the taller man's shoulders. "Which is why I'm handing the mantle of responsibility for them over to you. You will watch over my sheep as well or better than I can now."

"I ... I ... I'm honoured." He ducked his head in a bow of respect. "I will endeavor to be as good a leader as you've always been."

"You will be my son. You will be." And with those last words his human shape dissipated, leaving some wispy red smoke before vanishing up into the sky.

The weight of humanity had just been placed upon his shoulders, and the universe - the stars, moons ... everything, were now in the palm of his hands. On some the weight of that responsibility would have bowed them down.

Samuel T. Anders stood just a little taller.

_ fin _

_**A/N: **_Thanks all for reading and reviewing my story. It has been much appreciated to hear your thoughts as the story has evolved. I realize my version of the 'gods' and the 'five priests of the temple' is going to be a wee bit different than RM's but I hope you've enjoyed the journey I've taken you on in my imagination. There is one final chapter left - the epilogue. Then we're done. :)


	24. Epilogue

**'The Stars In Your Hand ... ' **

**Chapter Twenty Four - Epilogue**

_'One chance this night, to shine on this land, this time with pride, give back now while you can ...'_

_**One Year Later ...**_

She threaded her arm through his and smiled. "Are you enjoying yourself 'Admiral'?"

He grinned at her. "This retirement party is certainly better than the last attempt," he said playfully.

Laura Roslin's face grew serious as the memories rushed back.

He squeezed her arm. "I'm sorry to have reminded you of bad times."

She shook her head, waves bouncing more lightly now that they were able to be tamed regularly. "It's okay. Maybe it'll sound harsh and cruel but in a way I'm glad it all happened the way it did. None of this," she swept her arm to include all of the party-goers, "would have happened otherwise."

His gaze swept across the hundreds, stopping at some all-too familiar faces for a few seconds to bring to mind their lives and where they'd ended up.

Hotdog - he and Racetrack had ended up together, as everyone had suspected they would. More importantly, they'd fit into Earth's space program as if they'd been born to it. The people of the Thirteenth Colony were as fledgling birds when it came to space - they'd done some little exploration but hadn't ventured far from the nest. Adama had stayed with the military as a liaison between their people and his as those from Galactica who'd wanted to stay military had found a place for themselves. Brendan and Margaret had stood head and shoulders above the rest and were now the top test pilots. Adama was proud.

Gaeta - if he had a personal life word of it certainly hadn't reached him. But he'd become part of the rocket design team, his brilliance invaluable in launching the space program decades forward.

Dee - he still felt a trace of sorrow for her and perhaps even a little shame at how she'd been treated at the hands of his son. But she'd rebounded, a fighter in many ways. She'd quit the military altogether and now lived far away from where most of Galactica's former crew had settled. She wrote to him of the man she'd met and was planning to marry - a doctor in a clinic where she'd found work. Adama had always felt close to her, never more so than when Lee had left her. Though he'd known her presence here would be awkward for Lee and Kara, he'd felt the need to include her.

Sam Anders - he and Kristy had gotten married less than a month after finding Earth. Some were surprised. Adama wasn't. The young man was more like Kara than anyone realized. A survivor - he did what had to be done because for him just existing wasn't enough. He needed to _live_. And he was as passionate and impulsive as Kara, leaping before looking. Adama hoped this time it would work out for him; he was a good man, he deserved to be happy. Their baby was due any day now, though Sam already glowed as though he'd held his child in his arms. Adama was no end glad they'd made the trip to be here, difficult as it was for her. Somehow it felt right having them as part of his family. Even though they weren't by blood or marriage, they were by choice.

Helo and Sharon - he couldn't help but think of her as Sharon though everyone else except Helo himself called her Athena so as not to remember what she'd once been. They were both still military, though Sharon war currently on maternity leave with her second child. No one had made mention of the fact that she was a Cylon - with her entire race wiped out and no longer a threat to humanity the differences no longer mattered. She was Helo's wife and a damned good pilot and their children were just children like any other.

The thought of children involuntarily drew his eyes to Kara, standing not far off. She was rubbing her stomach, again carrying an Adama child. His heart warmed at the sight of her. As difficult as their relationship had been over the years she truly was the daughter he'd always wished he'd had. _ Your relationship with your son hasn't been any easier,_ his subconscious reminded him.

"Too true" he murmured with an affectionate smile.

"I beg your pardon?" Roslin cocked her head in close, waiting to be let in on the secret.

"Nothing. Nothing at all my dear. Just the crazy ramblings of an old man."

"Hardly old," she said, snuggling his arm close with a smile. "Crazy ramblings maybe, but I've known you long enough to be used to those."

He smiled at her then his eyes roamed back to the crowd, easily finding his son and granddaughter. It wasn't hard - Lee was busily chasing Clea as she ran from him, infectious smile catching in everyone she passed. Her flaxen pigtails flew in the wind as her study little body ran as fast as a one-year-old's legs could take her.

Adama studied his son for a few moments. Lee looked good._ Good. _ Happy, well and glad to be alive. He could have sworn some of the wrinkles accrued during the war had disappeared from his face. He looked younger and happier than Adama ever remembered seeing him. _ They make a good pair,_ a quiet voice whispered in his head. _As difficult as it's been to watch them struggle with and without each other, you have to admit they're quite a pair. A pair that's always belonged together whether your or anyone else believed it._

"I'm convinced," he muttered.

Roslin looked at him, a mixture of amusement and irritation on her face. "You're doing it again," she said. "Shall I start calling you 'Baltar'?"

"Gods forbid!" He laughed. "Let's not let thoughts of him spoil my party."

"It is a grand party," she agreed. "I'm going to be sad when it's over."

Adama turned to face her and with his free hand he brushed the hair out of her eyes. She smiled as the wind pushed it right back. "Then let's find a reason to have another one."

She moved slightly closer to him and her voice dropped a couple of notches. "You have a something in mind?"

"Marry me. Marry me Laura Roslin."

"Is that an order _Sir_," she asked coyly.

"I'm done giving orders. Now I just make requests." He stroked her cheek gently, weathered hand feeling the wrinkles of responsibility that had grown on her face over three years of hardship, and loving her all the more for each of them. She understood as no one else did, the need to put one's responsibilities ahead of her own wishes.

Fortunately that time was over for both of them and it was time to be selfish for a change.

"And you're requesting that I marry you?" She pulled at his sleeve playfully.

"It's a serious request. And a strong one ..."

"You don't need to convince me Bill. I was convinced a long time ago."

He leaned in and touched his lips lightly to hers. "So that's a yes?"

"Yes."

"Yes that's a yes, or yes you'll marry me?"

"Don't overthink things Bill. Just go with your instincts."

He slid his arms around her and pulled her close, kissing her much deeper this time.

**ooooooooooooooooo**

Lee stopped in front of Kara, panting as he tried to catch his breath. "Uh oh," he said, a smile breaking out on his face.

"What?" Kara put a hand on his arm in concern.

Lee nodded his head towards his father, locked in a passionate embrace with Roslin. "It looks like we're going to have another reason to have a party."

Kara watched them, a growing smile on her face. "Just so long as they wait till after this bub comes out," she said, patting her belly. "I'm missing the dancing!"

Lee put his arms around her as he laughed. "Don't worry Kara. It'll be out soon enough and then you'll be able to do anything you want. You'll hold the universe in the palm of your hand."

_ The End _

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's faithfully stuck with this story for the last 7 months, and especially for being patient for this last chapter. Real life has been terribly busy lately and my muse decided to take a vacation (since the rest of us weren't) and so I had troubles finding the time and motivation to finish this. I really appreciate everyone who's taken the time to read this and to respond, even if your feedback hasn't always been as positive as I'd like. :) I've taken it all to heart though and definitely see room for improvement so I'll remember your comments as I continue to write. Thanks especially to Mariel, one of the most faithful readers and responders here and she's not even a Kara/Lee shipper! Thanks again everyone. 


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